I lot of things don't really make that much sense, I agree with Jay, not sure about another women, but def something else has distracted him to do this. What is up with seeing another womens kids, was this big blow just to manipulate you into feeling guilty and agreeing to this altimatum. Seriously he is choosing someone elses kids.
That is really nutty.
I am so proud that you have stayed healthy and not sabotaged yourself...hang in there.
I guess I need some clarification. How long were those two together? Did they live together? Was he a father figure to these kids for years? Because if they were a casual relationship for a few months, then the kids can live without him. If he is a father figure to these kids, and she so badly wants him to spend time with them, then he and the kids can go somewhere public or to your house...he does NOT need to go to some other woman's house by himself for hours on end. There is NO justification for that.
Once again, his story is full of his "me-me-me" stuff and nothing about "us". It's all been about what YOU need to change, what YOU need to accept...what about him? He does realize a relationship is TWO people, not one, right?
I'm sorry hun, but the more you post about him, the more I wonder if he's right for you. You're SO sweet and kind and wonderful; you've never been anything but that to anyone here. I'm really starting to wonder if this guy even deserves you. He's trying to walk all over you and bend/shape/mold you to what he wants you to be, instead of accepting and loving you for the wonderful, strong woman you already are.
Last edited by MarinePrincess; 10-04-2007 at 04:13 AM.
OMG he is SOOOO messing around with his ex. How can you even agree to that request? His ex's kids are more important to him than you are? Basically that's just a more PC way for him to say that his EX is more important than you. It just sounds better to say "I'm doing it for the kids". And he put you through this as an "experiment"????? Are you kidding me???? Honey, you dodged a bullet. Move on.
There are RED FLAGS all over the place!! Marseille is right--he's back with his ex and using the kids as an excuse.
Why would you want to be married to someone that puts ANYONE ELSE before you? Think more highly of yourself and move on...you don't need to be second place in his life. Period.
Yeah, so he came back last night with a rose and said he was ready to make things work. And this afternoon, he said he was mistaken, he doesn't know if he even WANTS this to work...let alone make an attempt. He said he'll try seeing a counselor. But he can't promise anything. He's going to "give it all he's got", but that isn't much...he's pretty much done.
I feel broken all over again. I opened my heart back up, trusted him that he was really ready, and 12 hours later he left all over.
I can't keep doing this. I really just can't. I feel like the most worthless person on the planet, but even so, I know I don't deserve this pain. I don't want it. I just want to shut my heart and head off, and forget.
Yikes! Toni, I don't know what to say. He's got to stop that wishy-washy crap. Tell him to "go" or get off the pot, but he can't keep putting you through the ringer like this! Did you mention to him that there's something very broken about him putting some non-biological children before his wife?
Was he coming over just to get his ... um, "needs" met?
Edit: YOU are not worthless. You are a beautiful and caring individual who deserves to be with another beautiful and caring individual. Do not cast pearls before swine.
Last edited by phantastica; 10-04-2007 at 08:51 PM.
I would get the locks changed, but ask your lawyer about that. I think if he leaves, it's abandonment.
Soon he's likely going to turn this into all your fault anyway. Stop being jerked around. Open new bank accounts with just your name on them, and start depositing your paychecks into your own accounts.
You need to stop being nice and start thinking of your own survival. Really!
Nobody deserves to be anybody's door mat. Its now time to do what's best for yourself. Don't waste anymore time on this loser! He obviously doesn't care about how any of this hurts you.
You certainly don't deserve this pain, Toni. What he has done to you is so cruel. It makes me sick. You need to think about YOU only from now on. You deserve so much better. You deserve to be with someone you can trust, someone who loves you, not someone who is so clearly emotionally manipulative and unbelievably selfish.
I wouldn't even communicate directly with him from this point on. Tell him he can talk to your lawyer if he's got something to say.
As for worthlessness, he's the worthless one in this scenario, NOT YOU. He's not worthy of your love, your loyalty or your tears.
You certainly don't deserve this pain, Toni. What he has done to you is so cruel. It makes me sick. You need to think about YOU only from now on. You deserve so much better. You deserve to be with someone you can trust, someone who loves you, not someone who is so clearly emotionally manipulative and unbelievably selfish.
I wouldn't even communicate directly with him from this point on. Tell him he can talk to your lawyer if he's got something to say.
As for worthlessness, he's the worthless one in this scenario, NOT YOU. He's not worthy of your love, your loyalty or your tears.
Co-Sign! Everything she said was on my brain. I wouldn't give him the time of day.
I don't even have anything to say this time. I just wanted to give you a BIIIIIIIG . We all love you Toni. You are NOT worthless or any other negative thing you can think to call yourself. You are wonderful and sweet and beautiful. And you deserve so much better than this guy.
