I subscribed to this thread very shortly after you started it, thinking I'd reply with, "Oh, I like to draw/do art when I'm stressed out."
I've since seen your later comments and I'm so sorry to hear this is happening! In times like this I spend a lot of time on the couch, sleeping, crying, talking to friends (actually, staying overnight at my friends' houses too), escaping from reality via TV or books. When I feel like I'm not going to literally die, I start going for long solo walks, healing, "finding myself".
You've gotten some very great advice here, from some strong and wonderful people. Take care!
I suppose if it wasn't final enough, it is now. He called to say he left me $200 in the bank and he is filing for divorce as of 4pm. Apparently he's in a hurry to be done with me.
I read most of the other posts and I really can't add anything. Whomever said to seek another person out to talk about this was right. I have been through this myself and it is a very painful time. Try to find someone who can be there with you and that you can lean on during this time. Tonight or today if at all possible.
I'm very sorry to hear that you have to deal with such a stressful situation. These sorts of things will devour you emotionally and physically. I can't say too much about your relationship beyond that I hope you will go to counseling even if your husband chooses not go with you. Edit: Reading more thoroughly, it now seems as if he has made his choice. I'm very sorry to hear this, but I cannot agree more with Jen415. You have to look after yourself. Immediately. Find a lawyer.
Physically speaking it would be horrible to see your health suffer due to so much stress. I don't know you well, but I can tell you what works for me and some people I do know.
Do you unwind better through distractions?
Perhaps you're the type of person who would benefit from sipping a warm cup of tea while taking deep breaths to clear your mind?
Maybe curling up with a good book or magazine would be entertaining?
You could grab a good friend or relative and take a slow walk talking about nothing?
Do you like to organize in order to unwind?
You could focus on those things you've been putting off for awhile.
Simple chores that need to get done anyways, like laundry.
Or take on a big task like cleaning a closet that's gotten out of hand.
Maybe even paying some bills. (This one works for me... I know it's strange, but it's the afterwards that's de-stressing ^^)
Do you need to talk your problems out?
This is where getting together and discussing your problems with a trusted friend or relative would help you out. I see you came to the forums for some advice, maybe this is the best course for you. Even if it doesn't change things, venting emotions can help ease pressure & stress. Not only that, but it will help you see that you are not alone!
I know none of these will completely get rid of all your stress right now, but I hope you find what you need in order to feel at least somewhat better. Best of luck to you!!!
I suppose if it wasn't final enough, it is now. He called to say he left me $200 in the bank and he is filing for divorce as of 4pm. Apparently he's in a hurry to be done with me.
Wow, he doesn't waste any time. Once again, I am so very sorry that you're having to deal with this. Please don't think that there is something "wrong" with YOU. I don't know your husband, so I won't bash him, but I will say that the way he's handling this is immature and horrible. I hope you get through things okay. Be strong, and if you need to talk to someone, PLEASE do. Anyone, just open up and spill your guts. We're here for you.
Toni, you've been on my mind all last night and all day today. I hadn't said anything yet because I really didn't know what to say.
If $200 wasn't half of what was in that bank account, you need to get that lawyer others have mentioned before he starts taking advantage in other ways. Apparently he's been thinking and plotting this for awhile (which could explain why you guys weren't arguing towards the end). I know you're in shock and hurting, but you need to put on a brave, proud front and show that to him. Don't give him any power over you that he obviously doesn't deserve.
We all love you so much. You've been such a wonderful source of inspiration to me and to others and we're all cheering you on. PM or email me if you need anything at all, ok?
my DH is a lawyer and he said get representatin immediately! it's not up to him to "give" you $200 and walk away! get real!!!
Focus on that for a while, maybe the anger and the fight will tide you over for a while ~ but hopefully you have family and friends to support you during the emotional hard times I feel so crappy for you.... we all hate him!
Toni, like Amber I've been reading your posts but haven't posted anything because I don't know what to say. All I can say is that I'm thinking of you and sending lots of
I truly appreciate each and every one of you. My boss is a lawyer, so she is already on that part of it. I am somewhere in between the denial, sad, and angry stages. Not quite sure where I fit in, every minute is a different one. I am confused, that much I am positive of.
I know it probably sounds really dumb, but if it weren't for all the positive comments and advice here, I'd be curled up in a ball in the middle of the floor, ala Izzy from Grey's Anatomy, if any of you watch that.
I have friends and family that are supporting me and helping me immensely. But having a group of gals on my side, ready to stand next to me and fight, even though we've never "met", is amazing. It gives me strength and power. I could never thank you all enough. I am so glad I found this place when I did, not only for dieting, but all the ups and downs of life.
As far as how I'm doing... I could be doing better, that's for sure. I have moments where I am convinced he is going to call and tell me he loves me and is coming home. I have moments where I burst into tears for absolutely no reason. And I have moments where I am pissed and want to knock some sense into his stupid head. I have a lot of questions...most that no one but me can answer (i.e. Why did he do this? What's wrong with me? What ******ed-pill did he take? When am I supposed to take off my wedding ring? What do I do with all of our pictures and memories? How do you stop loving someone who you thought was the love of your life?).
Everyone says it'll get better, the pain will fade. I look forward to that part happening. Probably in for a long ride, huh?
You don't have to go through this alone
I feel so crappy for you.... we all hate him!
