I don't know whether it's the shift in routine or what, but I've been struggling for the last few days. I am having difficulty finding a way to fit swimming into my new routine, but I am enjoying exploring other options. Doing the elliptical today, I enjoyed working hard enough to have sweat dropping from my forehead, something that I missed when I was swimming. But for some reason, I'm feeling really disenchanted with the weight loss journey right at this moment. Whereas last week, I craved recognition for losing the weight, this week, I cringe at the thought of someone mentioning it.
In the last week, I have felt fatter than I EVER remember feeling. When I first started this, I thought that if I ever got below 200, I would feel normal again, and I could be happy with that even if I never reached my goal weight. But now that I am below 200, I feel enormous. Maybe it was the expectation? I don't know, but it's really affecting my mental state.
The ironic thing, though, is that I also feel more committed to my plan than ever before. And right now, I'm not even really feeling the compulsion to lose the weight. I just know that when I'm on plan, I feel better, am not overwhelmed by guilt every time I eat anything, and I feel strong and fit. In fact, I felt significantly better mentally after I went to the gym, so I am doubly committed to the exercise.
So, has anyone experienced this in their journey - the feeling fatter at a lower weight than a higher weight? I think part of it is I'm actually paying attention rather than making a concerted effort to ignore my weight issues. Still, though, it happened so suddenly and inexplicably that it's really annoying me, and I'd like to know how unique my experience is.