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-   -   On the verge of tears (https://www.3fatchicks.com/forum/100-lb-club/121357-verge-tears.html)

MugCanDoIt 08-27-2007 12:26 PM

On the verge of tears
I just have to get this out so I will post on here. i have been so depressed lately, along with anxiety. Today I am holding back tears cause I am at work. All I want to do is go to bed and just be at home. I take anti depression medicine, but forget to take it half the time.

I really don't think it is due to weight issues right now. I just sometimes get to where I dont want to leave the house, just want to sleep. Sometimes it gets better, but until that time comes it feels unbelievebly horrible. I have to go to work. I don't want to talk to people, I hope they don't look at me. I just picture going to bed and not dealing with anything at all.

I called my husband two times by 10:00 this morning, just to hear his voice. Sometimes just hearing him over the phone makes me feel some better. Even looked up self help online, but am still on the verge of tears. I just had to get this out somehow.

hellokitty81668 08-27-2007 12:40 PM

I am so sorry you are going through this. Why do you forget to take your medicine? What will help you remember?
I get depressed, but do not take medicine for it. When I feel really down, I try and get myself busy, do something in the house, or get outside and walk. I don't know what will work for youo, I don't know why are you depressed, but you have to get yourself together, and overcome it, if it is medicine then take medicine, if it is getting busy then get busy. You are a beautiful person on the inside, now you have to work on gettting your outside beautiful. I know you are worth it!! You are somebody.
:hug::hug: cheryl

wanna b thin 08-27-2007 12:41 PM

:hug: Mugs, here are some hugs coming your way:hug:

I'm sure those of us who do not suffer from depresion can not understand what you are going through. I just hope those feeling go away soon and you are have a better day.

Idealmuse 08-27-2007 12:44 PM

Mug I used to be bad with remembering to take mine too... but when you're going through this whole weight loss thing it really does make it just a tiny bit easier so your not stuck in your head. I notice I feel a LOT better when I'm constantly on them and adding exercise to the mix. Can you put the medication bottle by something you do every day? In front of the toothbrush? TV? Where you keep your shoes?

I know its rough... but take care of yourself and you'll have better energy to focus.


Glory87 08-27-2007 12:45 PM


Originally Posted by MugCanDoIt (Post 1830579)
I just have to get this out so I will post on here. i have been so depressed lately, along with anxiety. Today I am holding back tears cause I am at work. All I want to do is go to bed and just be at home. I take anti depression medicine, but forget to take it half the time.

Lay your toothbrush across the pill bottle - or put the pills next to your coffee mug in the kitchen. Make it so you can't forget them. Keep them in your purse, so if you remember you need to take them while you are at work, they are handy. Keep an emergency pill or two in an envelope in your desk drawer, so if you forget to take them, they are handy at work.

LaurieDawn 08-27-2007 12:46 PM

Hey Mug! I had actually been hoping you'd post. I thought about you a lot this weekend and hoped that you'd be here this morning letting us know about your great weekend, or maybe post that this weekend was better than the one before, or maybe say that even though this weekend wasn't good, you'd learned something from it that would help the next one be better.

I'm sorry that you're having such a rough time, though. Depression is a serious illness, but one that can be treated by a professional. The thing is, though, that being depressed makes it hard to find the energy to seek treatment, and that can be a vicious cycle. Even posting here had to be tough. I would encourage you, though, to get in touch with your health professional and work on getting a treatment that will help you with the depression. I know that seeing a therapist was great for me, and I know that my mother's time at an inpatient facility made all the difference for me when I was young, as she came back a lot more able to deal with life. There are lots of different treatments, and I'm sure you can find one that is effective for you.

Good luck to you. Please keep us updated on how you're doing.

settie 08-27-2007 12:51 PM

I'm sorry you are dealing with this.:hug: I have been struggling with depression for about 10 years and when I start into a bad episode I experience many of the things you've mentioned...not wanting to be with people, going to bed so you won't have to deal with things... Yes, it does feel horrible but for me one of the best things to relieve it is taking meds. Yes, they do have side effects but I'd rather live with that then the depression. Depression meds only work if you take them on a regular basis.

If you are not taking them because you feel they aren't working, you may need a change. I also started seeing a psychologist about a year ago. It is the best thing I've ever done - other than drugs - for my depression. I am doing Cognitive Behavior Therapy with her and I have come to understand and question many of my horrible thoughts and feelings.

Please seek medical help if you need it. Good luck.:hug:

Cassie501107 08-27-2007 01:01 PM

I went through this last year, so I totally understand. I had a hard time getting out of bed, and would cry all day..I cried when my husband went to work, and I must have called him 10 times a day...finally I got put on Zoloft, and it's helped me quite a bit.

I wish you the very best.:hug:

MugCanDoIt 08-27-2007 01:03 PM

Thanks everyone.

Steelslady 08-27-2007 01:08 PM


Originally Posted by Idealmuse (Post 1830610)
Can you put the medication bottle by something you do every day? In front of the toothbrush? TV? Where you keep your shoes?

I was going to suggest the same exact thing. Every night, I take my Zoloft with my vitamins and I have them on my desk with my toothebrush so I won't forget them. :D

Mugs, hun, I know how you feel. Please hang in there. Maybe your medication needs changing or an adjustment? Call your doctor- there's no reason for you to live like this, hun. Anxiety and depression can suck, but there's help for it thank God. By any chance are you getting close to your TOM? That is the worst time for me, and it's usually when my anxiety/exhaustion strikes.

Muse is right- more exercise really, really helps. Even just walking in place- it totally relaxes your body and mind and reduces stress and anxiety. Swimming (or should I say, just playing, heh heh) in the water also relaxes me as well as dancing.

The medical condition I talked about in my "98 pounds to go" is Anxiety/Panic disorder- something that changed my life a bit drastically for awhile- twice within three years time. The first time I had one was back in June 2004, put on Zoloft, taken off in December that year. I did ok without the meds and thought I was over it.

To my utter horror, I had another attack last October (hence, my weight gain *sigh*). It was so bad that I was taken away again by ambulance to the hospital.

I ended staying the night because my heart was racing on and off all night and I just couldn't catch my breath. Although I wasn't depressed at the time it happened, the restrictions it put on my life until the medication started working (6 months- ugh!) caused me to become depressed. The doctor put me on Lorazepam for several months- it helped very little, and I told him back in March that I needed something better than this, and requested to go back on Zoloft. It took two months, but the Zoloft finally kicked in and I feel so much better now and don't think of my anxiety much at all now, except for when TOM is due, to which is very common among women from what I understand.

I became determined to not let it beat me and to not let it stop me from living a great life.

Hang in there, sweetie. Know that there are others out there going through the same- there is a light at the end of the tunnel. :hug:

Bouncing 08-27-2007 01:25 PM

Mug, putting my meds under my tootbrush would never work: who the **** brushes their teeth when they're depressed?:?: Putting some in my purse helped, along with setting an alarm on my computer that would scream at me (I used a siren sound effect, but turned the volume down so my co-workers wouldn't come running to complain) to remind me. Now that I'm not working, they're by the kitchen sink. I take a lot of different meds and vitamins, so I got one of those pill containers with a compartment for each day of the week. That way I always know if I took my meds that day or not -- take meds for long enough, and the days sort of run together, and I don't know if I took them today, or if that was yesterday I'm remembering, or even some time last year!

When I'm feeling good, I used to skip the anti-depression meds. Then I'd start feeling bad. Now I FINALLY have it through my head to take them every day no matter what. After all,no treatment, no matter how good, works if I don't do it.

I truly understand, and I hope you feel better. Know that we love you, and for lots of us, your story is our story too, and there IS a way out.

Idealmuse 08-27-2007 01:32 PM

"Mug, putting my meds under my tootbrush would never work: who the **** brushes their teeth when they're depressed"

Haha thats why I said TV, Shoes etc. I actually keep mine right infront of the computer so when I'm sitting here I have to eventual look at the bottle. It is really hard to get the motivation to do anything when your stuck in that downward rut... but you aren't the one to blame. Your not lazy. Your not forgetful... It's the depression talking.


MugCanDoIt 08-27-2007 01:38 PM

I think the forgetting to take the medicine once I start feeling good is doing most of the damage. I once questioned if I should change to something new, but I guess I cannot really answer that unless I take the one I have continuously.......

Idealmuse 08-27-2007 01:48 PM

Look at it like losing weght though. You know you can't diet and then go back to eatting whatever you want. It's the same with the medication just because your feeling better doesn't mean you don't need it. Doesn't mean you can't ever go off it, but obviously if your struggling you need to be on it.

nicolen 08-27-2007 02:01 PM

Oh, how I can relate, Mug! Been there, done that and as of last week off the meds, so there is a way out of this, I assure you.

Take the meds every day. For me this wasn't an issue - I take meds for my epilepsy and have done for many years, so it was easy for me to just add a new packet to the bathroom cabinet. Are you on the Pill? Take a multi vitamin? If there is something that you take on a regular basis, put the anti-depressant with them and take it at the same time. The meds do help, but you must take them for them to be effective.

Sometimes doctors can prescribe the wrong meds - especially with anti-depressants. If, after getting into a routine, you still feel like this then don't be scared to go back to the doctor. Not every med is effective for everyone.

Sending lots of :hug: :hug:

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