Oh, I know how you feel! Many of my friends are overweight, but most of my co-workers are slender... or at least more in the "normal" size of heavy than I am. It used to make me SO self-conscious to eat with them... I'd watch every fork-full, even if they weren't.

In fact, when I started working through the 4-day Win book (I highly reccommend it for a lot of the mind-body work that most diets don't bother with), I was struck by how very self-conscious I am of my body. I treat it like this "other" thing, like it's something I'm at war with. I catch myself plotting paths through stores and restaurants, where there is the most space to maneuver, and so I won't look too clumsy or huge.

Some of the early exercises in the book, where you try to reconnect with your body, or appreciate the "wild child" in you who just wants to eat and eat so you can survive during this emergency (the obvious famine that's going on, since calories are restricted), have been eye-opening to me and have really influenced not only how I eat, but how I look at myself. I'm much less self-conscious than I was a month ago.

I hope your lunch went well, and that the fun factor overcame the self-esteem problems.

Hey, you guys are all sharing my same "background" self-demoralizing script! And Sherry, I love what was said by Jessica earlier, about your friends appreciating your company, not thinking about putting you down! And also Rhonda's thought, that we all have some stuff to work through, whether visible or not. It's good to hear you already knew that, and had a great time with your one friend over lunch.

Two thoughts here; one of my close friends once told me that if I were skinny but still slumped, grimaced, and declined all the fun stuff, that's much worse than if I were horribly obese but happy. And I asked for advice once, from someone I know who grew up in Eastern Europe, who has always been large, and looks and acts like a great woman. She dresses to celebrate all her curves! She told me that in her culture, all women get larger as they mature, it's seen as a result of increased competence, responsibility, wisdom, and generosity. And of course that's her to a T! I just have to wrap my head around it, because the old script in my head is just plain unhealthy....

You are special - your friends know this - tell that old script where to get off!

Originally Posted by :
Remember:
You are more than a weight. You are more than a fat chick. You are smart, beautiful, fun and a joy to be around. They didn't invite you to lunch to make you feel bad, they invited you because they enjoy YOUR company.

Amen! I need reminding of that all the time; 99.99999% of my friends are very slender or normal-ish. I feel so self-concious around them some times. I know I get so wrapped up in my weight and size that I sometimes forget that I have other sides; that I'm funny, smart, and give good advice.

Listen up, all you tall chicks: I'm a fairly short gal, and I totally envy your height! You have longer legs, longer necks, longer waists, and longer arms so you can reach the top shelves easier! You look better in clothes (and can weigh more and still look good!). Ya'll always look elegant and you can walk so much faster! Yup, I would love an extra couple of inches.

I have a really hard time with that sometimes, and I have to admit it's the number one reason I get anxious about meeting new people, or going to parties with friends-of-friends. I'm not worried about how the guys will act, I just make myself miserable thinking about all the women who will be smaller than me. I'm my own worst enemy- definitely something to work on. I'm really glad you had such a fun time!

Originally Posted by KnitALisa:
Listen up, all you tall chicks: I'm a fairly short gal, and I totally envy your height! You have longer legs, longer necks, longer waists, and longer arms so you can reach the top shelves easier! You look better in clothes (and can weigh more and still look good!). Ya'll always look elegant and you can walk so much faster! Yup, I would love an extra couple of inches.

But don't forget -- you short girls can be "cute" and when you're tall it's hard to pull that off!! There's good and bad on both sides, I guess, so we have to remember the good and be happy with what we have!

We do walk faster, though. :lol: I often run with my 4'10" sister-in-law and the poor thing has to run so much faster than I do just to stay beside me.