My DH has always been of "normal" weight. He never complains about my low-cal cooking, but when he's away from home he eats whatever he wants. I don't mind since this weight struggle is mine, not his. But, I don't like it when he brings me a huge cinnamon roll (like today) and I have to say "you know I won't eat that" and he eats it in front of me.
My DH is overweight. Not to the extent that I was. In the beginning of my journey he dropped about 30 lbs. He is now eating again whatever he likes. He brings home all kinds of junk now. It gets me crazy. I don't want him eating it or my children. How I wish I could control his eating, but I can't. It's up to him, not me. I don't let what he eats affect me. I can't control what he eats, but I CAN control what I eat. It is up to me to take responsibility for my health, 100% so in fact. I can't let what he or anyone else does get in my way. I really hope one day he gets it together. I want him to be around with me for as long as possible.
My guy is just getting fatter and fatter. He doesn't seem to care. I am slowly cutting back, changing menus and adding in sugar free stuff. He does ok, but has lost some points on remarks about the cooking. I made chicken fried steak one night ( from scratch) and he said " have you figured out how to make this from Ground turkey yet? ". It was the last package of cube steak I had in the freezer.
The truth is I can cook ground turkey, fish, grilled chicken and every low cal veggie dish known to man- but if he eats junk food every day for lunch nothing is going to change. He could exercise 30 minutes every night and it would be nothing but benfical.
He joined a gym one year and spent the entire time in the pool or in the sauna. It wasn't about exercise- but relaxation.
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I can't control what he eats, but I CAN control what I eat. It is up to me to take responsibility for my health, 100% so in fact. I can't let what he or anyone else does get in my way.
It's the only way we can do this. Hopefully in the long run what I am changing will help his heath in some form.
My husband has always been at a good weight. He's athletic and has always been that way. He owns his own company, but it is a business that has a lot of physical labor involved. He can put on weight through the winter, but it always seems to come back off. He drinks a lot of soda and whole milk, and is a meat and potatoes kind of guy. He likes dessert every night. (kind of drives me nuts)
He feels that if you put on a few pounds, "all you have to do is burn more calories than you take in". Genius. Although he is right, he has trouble understanding my problems. My desk job isn't helpful at burning calories. But I'm working on it!!!!
My Dh was slightly overweight when I started - 225 lbs at 5'10". Since then, he has lost down to about 185, which is close to a healthy body weight for him. He has mostly lost the weight by eating what I eat for dinner and not eating sweet snacky things at night, since we no longer keep a lot of that kind of thing in the house. While he's at work and when we go out to eat, he eats whatever he wants. Between the two of us we have lost 184 lbs!
My husband is morbidly obese...I'm say somewhere in the vicinity of where the amazing Charles or Howie were when they started their journey. He was big when we married but has probably doubled in size since living in the states (he is from England). He has made no real effort yet to change anything, though he does like the healthier dinners I've been cooking. His biggest problem is that he just doesn't move, but unless you really possess the desire to lose weight, I can't imagine WANTING to move at that weight because it probably isn't comfortable for him. I know I can't do it for him; he has to make the effort himself.
I don't let it deter me, though I never tell him how much weight I have lost thus far because I'm afraid it would be a "rubbing it in" kind of thing. He has told me he is proud of me and that he can see the difference. I just keep praying that as I lose more, he'll get on board.
I answered yes, but we're losing together. Only because he eats what I cook, and he's taken off about 30 lbs. just doing that. He supplements with stuff he wants to eat, but doesn't bring stuff in the house that he knows are problems for me. If he wants pizza, he waits until I'm out of town, or he'll do the grocery shopping and get a cookie to eat in the car. His doctor has said if he loses 10 more pounds or so, he should be off his blood pressure medication so he's working slowly toward that goal.
Sheila - My husband has lost with me too - even though he's technically not on a diet. Just by me cooking more healthy foods for him, has helped him lose weight too.
My DH is skinny, and has been all his life. Small difference for him - as a young boy he struggled with anore*i@, and had to battle his demons without any help, before age 12 in order to reach that birthday! He believes he's just fine now, but still ties his thinness together with self-esteem. And under stress, he reverts to a cycle of coffee for 3 days, then lots of junk food every 4th day.
It's been interesting to see what's inheritable in our two kids, now both teens. One isn't aware of her hunger unless you ask her to take a moment to think about it, just like her dad. The other is more like, I'm hungry! NOW! and can't get her mind back on track for anything, until food is inhaled - like her dear ol' ma (moi!).
So, becoming aware of great food and exercise choices is a family affair, with each of us having a particular set of issues. We tease each other, and we support each other, although I do have to live with 3 people insisting on various kinds of junk food as groceries because they're all "skinny".
DH is in his 50's, and although his blood fats are enviable, his electrolytes lately have been worrisome, and overall fitness down; he's beginning to rethink his "healthy" lifestyle. And my girls are also having unusually fluctuating energy/concentration levels, reduced healing and immunity, and telltale flab & pudginess, that point to too much junk food. So I've started to institute junk-food portion-control for them. And yes, I do tell them my health issues will be theirs someday, unless they learn proper habits. I take it one step at a time!
None of the answers really apply to my situation. I would say Jeff could stand to lose some weight, but I wouldn't really say he's very overweight--maybe 20 pounds? He was never stick thin or anything as long as I've known him, but I know we both put on some weight since being together. He now eats what I cook at home, but he still sometimes goes out for lunch at work and whatnot--he's not making a concentrated effort to lose weight, and I don't think he has lost any (he asked me to get him a bigger waist size pants this year if I buy him any clothes for his birthday later this month--he wore a 38 last time I bought him pants and is now asking for a 40--and he's only may'be 5'7).
I've recently, though, started sort of sneaking even more healthy foods into his diet. I started making him lunches for work sometimes (which I hate doing--I hate the feeling that I'm doing all of the cooking and cleaning like a good little housewife because that's sooooo not me, but at the same time, I want him to be eating healthy foods, and when he packs his own lunch, it's an instant cup of flavored wontons and a pudding cup--when I make it, it's brown rice with black beans, chicken, fresh salsa, fresh guacamole, lettuce, and fat-free cheese).
I, too, had a hard time finding the right answer for us. My husband IS overweight, he IS losing, but mainly he is losing because due to some issues with his son, when his son is with us (and not visiting his mother) they have to stay in a hotel and he doesn't snack much in a hotel. Also, he gave up bread for Lent and that has led to a fairly profound weight reduction in the past few weeks. That has motivated him to try and keep it going. However, we don't really have a plan to lose together. He still snacks a lot when he's here. I don't hound him about it...in fact, he was very large when I fell in love with him and I am more in love with him today. THAT is how I know to the depth of me that he can also love me no matter how gross I think I look. He is showing a lot of interest in my weight loss, though. I think that it may start to rub off on him a little and his efforts will become a bit more focused. This stuff with his son has created a highly stressful situation for the both of us and I am just so proud of us both for managing ANY weight loss efforts right now!
