Personally, if i'm going to ask for advice or just ask a quesiton, i'm not looking at someone's ticker or there so-called expertise. All I want is ideas. Ultimately i'm the one that is going to have to make whatever decision it is.

You, just like everyone else is unique and has something to add. Maybe it's just a different twist to an old idea. I don't know how many times something was staring me in the face and I couldn't see it. It just took a fresh pair of eyes.

On the flip side of feeling the fraud, I've also had the feeling that when things are going well for me for a long period of time that I don't like to post. I'm thinking "geez, so many people are having a hard time right now, either with the weight/food issues or just life in general, who am I to be "little miss sunshine", like i'm rubbing their nose in it or something". I know that's not how it should be because even if i'm having a hard time, I like to know, hey the good times are still out there, they'll be back!

Share, share, share! Someone has a quote here, I don't remember it exactly or who it was, but I love to share it.

"If you're having a bad day, you need us. If you're having a good day, we need you!" Or something like that. I think you get the idea.

Take care!

I know what you mean - there are many times that I hesitate to post. Because I am not an expert or because I pretty much agree with the people that have already posted. But I try to remember that with this site - we are only going to get out of it what we put into it and the more ideas we generate the better off we are all going to be.

I am a better lurker than I am poster but I am working on being more of a participater.....

Hi Slashnl!

Don't be so hard on yourself, sweetie! :hug: This goes for all of you who answered this post, too! :hug: :hug: :hug: Every one of us is either at a weight that we don't like OR we are struggling to maintain a weight that we DO like! We are all in this together! :grouphug: Each person has his/her lifetime of experiences to add to the mix. How amazing is THAT?!!! Think of the years of weight loss experience that this site has as its total! Think of all of the many, many pounds of weight lost, regained, lost, etc. There are great people here, and like it or not, we are all in the same journey together. We may be sitting on different seats in the bus or on the plane looking at different scenery, but we are all headed to the same place...a healthier life weighing a healthier weight and looking better in our clothes!

I'm 55 and among some of the oldest members on this site. There's no way that I would say, "Oh, she's just 20. What could SHE know?" I have two sons who are 18 and 25. I learn stuff from them EVERY DAY! They haven't lived on earth as long as I have, but they know MANY things that I don't know! They also have had many experiences that I haven't had.

We must be open, in my opinion, to every idea because we never know when that one idea will change our life and the lives of others!

I say, if you have an idea, a comment, a thought, a suggestion...LET IT FLY ONTO YOUR SCREEN! It just may be the idea that changes someone's life!

Freedom of speech...Ahhhhh! LOVE IT!:carrot:

Cheryl

Boy can I relate! I have been at 3FC for 7 years and I still struggle for success. Plus being a MOD sometimes makes me feel like more of a fraud.

Everyone here is so right. We all know so much about weight loss and we all have so much to offer. Goal or not, it's the community that supports us. I want to hear from all of you!!!!

I wanted to chime in here to agree with everyone else too! But one thing I've noticed is, away from these boards, in real life, TONS of people ask ME (me?! ME?) for diet advice, its like they want to hear about it from a "real" person, with real struggles, not some 110 lb chicky from the gym. (no offense to you 110 lb chickies from the gym....LOL) The same thing goes for me as a healthcare professional, telling people (esp diabetics, which IS my specialty!) to watch their weight, diet, exercise...and looking like this! So I know what you mean about feeling like a fraud, it just isn't true.

You are so right! Losing weight is the hardest thing I've tried doing. It piles on so quickly, then comes off fighting you tooth and nail every step of the way. Whether we've lost a lot of weight or a little we know what our experinces have been and what did work for us. How many of us have lost weight in clumps before 3fc that we don't show on our tickers? We'd all have some mighty long tickers if we added up all the weight we've lost over the years. We know that we aren't frauds and if others look in and think we are, well, they're probably the type of people who are never happy anyways so there's no pleasing them :p

As a maintainer, I'd like to say to people earlier in their journey, NEVER feel like a fraud. There are countless times that I come on here and am struggling to maintain this wt. loss and have simply strayed from the healthy path. Just seeing so many and hearing their advice helps get me back on track. It is all too easy to become complacent and think "oh , this once won't hurt me any" and it doesn't but when it turns into several days , a week or so, It definitely hurts. I learn something new everyday and the majority of the time, it comes from those that are losing weight and having success with it. It also comes from those that have plateaued or those who like me are having a struggle and trying to overcome. Many times it strikes me that those closest to the beginning of their wt. loss journey are the ones that inspire me the most. The ones that still have that wonderful Euphoria as each lb. comes off. These are the ones that make me want to keep the wt. off and take off any extra lb that shows up. WAY more so than the ones that have had the wt. off for years and have a great plan established. Hope this makes sense. I'm not at all trying to discount the help of the other maintainers, It's just that the fresh ideas, plans and encouragement from the others is every bit as important to me personally.

There is something uniquely rewarding and "authentic," about receiving advice and support from others "in the trenches." Even over those who have already "been there, done that," and come through the other side.

Not so much here, because even those on maintenance often still have the attitude of "still being on the journey," but often in my everyday life I have had friends, family, and aquaintenances who have lost small or large amounts of weight, and seem to have become self-ordained "experts," overnight. While the "if I can do it, you can too," attitude can be well-intended sometimes it comes off as self-righteous zealotry.

I'm willing to admit my distrust of the "successful" people may be in large part due to envy rather than any fault on their part, it is a lot more comfortable to be following the advice of a friend you know is struggling with following it herself. Does that make any sense?

I've been posting here for several years and this thread really hit home for me. If anything I've gained weight since I first joined. My pregnancy and other emotional probs sure didn't help. I've had plenty of times where I've typed in a post and then deleted it because I was thinking how ridiculous it seems to be giving advice about losing weight when I sure can't do it myself. Still why I keep coming back is that it really helps to know that there are so many out there that have similar problems with weight. For the longest time I felt very isolated about being overweight.

I know when I post something, especially when someone asks for advice, I always try to get in there - that this is what works for me, and that we are all different and different things will work for different people and how we've got to really figure out a plan for ourselves. Because that's the truth, what works for me doesn't necessarily mean it will work for someone else. I also try to put in some IMO's in there. And ocassionaly I'm no expert, but... And then of course there's - I'm no where near goal yet, so...

In the beginning I think I did hold back on responding to certain threads, I still do. No matter what we've been through, no matter where we are on our journey, there will always be some things that are just not pertinent to us and therefore I feel as if I have nothing to add. So I don't.

I think the beauty of this place is to throw IDEAS back and forth to one another and hopefully, hopefully we can each pick up something valuable from one another. That that one little nugget or idea will spark something in our own brains and be helpful in our mutual struggle to shed and keep off the pounds. In my opinion, of course.