Might as well just spit it out...I'm FAT and I HATE it...
 

I've got a million things running though my head and a lot of them have to do with my SIZE and how much I HATE it. I'm uncomfortable, I get winded and I just don't like what I've become...yet for some unknown reason I always reach for the wrong thing. It's time to stop that and I'm asking for help. I've tried what seems like 20 times this year to get on to a plan and to stay there I do great for the first week and then when the loss is so great into the second week I quit and console myself with some homemade cookies. Does it make me feel better absolutely not why do I do it I don't know. I'm stronger than that food is nothing but food it tastes good going down and then it's gone. I need to put up my guard and give this my all which truthfully I haven't done this year.

I'm 32 and have two boys. My oldest is 2-1/2 year old and my youngest is 16 months old. Two back to back pregnancies was hard on the body my stomach will never been the same but that is no excuse for the fact that I now weigh in at 230 pounds :( I hate myself for allowing myself to get to this point and even more I hate how I feel. I want to run around for hours with the boys instead I sit on the couch and watch them play. I don't want to get winded going up the stairs. I want to live to see my boys graduate high school, get married and I want to be energetic when my grandchildren arrive. I want and need to change myself.

I have a gym quality elliptical machine and a bike that are both collecting dust. The boys are in bed asleep no later than 8pm every night there is no excuse for the lazy slop I've become. So this week my pledge is to hit the elliptical machine for at least 20 minutes every night and to drink at the very minimum 8 glasses of water. Food wise the crap is gone...no more cookies, cup cakes and all the the other very yummy treats the boys like to make, no more fast food runs for dinner or lunch. I'm changing my future which in turn is changing the boys future. I don't want them to be the FAT kid in school. I want them to be the best that they can be and with fast food meals and junk food they will never be the best that they can be.

Please share any motivational secrets with me. I know I'm not the only person that has tried and failed at this a million times. I have all the information I need to do WW and I have the exercise equipment here....no more excuses....I'm hoping I can find a home here for the rest of my life. I need the support and the encouragement more than I'd like to admit. I've proven to myself time and time again that I can't do this on my own.

tiggs, please don't beat yourself up. You are here now and will get a lot of help and encouragement. Yes, it's hard but totally worth the effort. It does get easier and becomes more of a habit with time. Many, many, many of us tried several times before we had success. Anyone that is trying is a success in my opinion. We're in this together and can do it together. I was 234 lbs. to start with and I did it. It wasn't easy and it sure wasn't overnight but it still got done. Look at it as a lifestyle change. What can you do to make your life healthier and the lives of your family. Get rid of junk food. Increase fruits and veggies. Drink more water. Exercise , even a little bit helps. The weight will come off and you will be so proud of yourself and your accomplishment. Make small goals for yourself with non-food rewards along the way. Such as make-up, nail polish, manicure, clothes, lingerie. These things will make you feel so good about yourself. You are right, doing it alone is much harder. Here, we are a group and support each other as needed. We all fall sometimes and there is always someone to help you back up. The most important thing for me has been consistency because I don't always count on motivation. It comes and goes. Now, smile, do your hair and make-up and try to be proud of the fact that you are on your way to a healthier you. Hugs.

Donna, Not only has Lily lost weight but she did it while taking prednisone and she has been on it quiite awhile. She is such an inspiration. I take prednisone, too, and it makes you really hungry at times.

Well first of all welcome to the 100lb club. There is a GREAT group of intelligent, knowledgable, helpful and supportive women here. I relate to sooo many things you said, as I'm sure most of us here do.

Getting rid of the junk food in the house was huge for me. I also realized that my kids didn't need it either. Now we've got a house full of fresh fruits and vegetables, lean proteins and the such. Once you get into it, it really does get A LOT easier. Before you know it the cravings will stop, you'll see a drop in the scale, your clothes will get looser and you'll be totally psyched, which will propell you to keep at it.

As far as the exercise, I screwed up my knees big time with all this extra tonnage I've put on. But I do manage to get some in. I've broken it down into 3 very doable sessions of 20 mins each. And all day long I move myself, not necessarily "exercise", but now I'm always moving, even if it's when I'm brushing my teeth or washing the dishes. I figure every task can be done using more movement. I try to "sneak" in exercise everywhere. Everything is just more then I used to do. And I'm losing weight. And so can you.

It does require a bit of determination and self-discipline and commitment, but it is most absolutely do-able. I've been doing this not even 4 months and I could not see myself going back to the way I was. Though I have a looong way to go I already am noticing huge, huge benefits from whatever weight I've already lost.

You will be giving those 2 boys a fit, trim, healthy and active mom. And you will be setting a marvelous example for them, something they can keep with and benefit from their whole lives. Good luck to you. Hope to see you around here often!!!

P.S. Make sure you check out our various threads here at the 100lb club, like My Daily Commitments, December NSV's and the such. Take a good look around. There are lots of helpful and motivational stuff to be found.

Hi Tiggs!

I have two sons also. Mine are much older than yours, but I know how active those little guys can be! It can be exhausting to keep up! I WILL tell you that it was impossible for me to lose weight when mine were small. I was working fulltime, and my husband didn't help very much. I did the lion's share of everything and ended up each day eating myself into oblivion just to calm myself down. I did not realize that I was doing all this "comfort eating" until many years later when I finally began my current weightloss journey. I was shocked to realize that I was eating NOT because I was hungry but because I was using food to medicate myself!

I also was in denial with my weight which topped out at 275 six years ago.

I'm down 65 lbs. from my all-time high now, and I have so much more energy! I wish I had lost my weight much sooner than this, but I just wasn't ready for the committment back then!

I wish you much luck on YOUR weightloss journey and want to say how happy I am that you are making your committment NOW! Those boys will LOVE having an active mom, and you will be happy with how you look and feel.

Best of luck to you!

Cheryl:dust:

Hi Donna,

I'm glad you've joined this site and I look forward to getting to know you better and to each of us providing support to one another.

Are you a stay-at-home Mom? It sounds like you might be like me...stuck in a rut. One of my goals on this weight loss journey is to get out of the house and around other people. I am a telecommuter for my company and I work from home. I have been doing this for about 5 years now. The flexibility in hours is great, however, I have really let myself go. I usually work in my pajamas and usually don't shower until the afternoon. I hardly every wear makeup, dont put in my contacts and dont style my hair. I've gained a ton of weight. I believe if I can get motivated to get out of the house...maybe take a class, start working out at the YMCA, etc...I think this will help my self esteem and get me motivated. Is it possible that you have fallen into the same rut and need to get out of the house?

Donna,
I want to send you a big hug, we are all on this site for support and believe me these ladies and gentlemen that are here are wonderful for that. Keep posting and glad to see you here. My only advice is baby steps, as I try to take on to much and it becomes overwelhming as I try to do it to perfectly. Lifestyle changes in baby steps. Good luck and again WELCOME
Anna

Congrats on getting rid of the junk!!! You're right, your kids don't need it; in fact they are so much better off without it!! I read a newspaper article ages ago that said too much sugar and junk food can not only cause obesity problems from young childrens, it can also cause behavior issues!

You're so lucky to have an elliptical!! I set up a TV in front of my elliptical and I watch TV shows on DVD. Distracts me enough for me to forget how much I hate working out!! ;)

Make a poster of that. Whenever you feel weak or unmotivated, read it over and over again, until you've reminded yourself why you're doing this!!

Good luck and hope to see ya around!

Donna, you are so strong! I admire how honest you are with yourself and just think, you haven't quit. You're here. If you never stop trying, you can't fail.

I don't know how tall you are, but you can be fit even at 230 pounds. Realize that it's not entirely imperative to lose weight in order to be able to run around with your boys. Until I began a sedentary lifestyle about five years ago, I was "fit and fat." I walked, mountain biked, scuba dived, and kept up just fine with my friends at 240-odd pounds.

If you tend to beat yourself up over diet slip-ups, maybe consider fitness goals rather than weight goals. Being able to walk one mile. Being able to walk two miles. Being able to walk two miles in 45 minutes, then 40, then 30, etc. But customized to what you do, of course.

Of course, "grain of salt" is in order as I don't think I've accomplished enough yet to be able to speak with authority! :devil:

You know I debated about posting here...I didn't want to fail again and have everyone here think I was a failure as well. I want to succeed I want to do this.

You ladies have made me feel overwhelmed...you support and concern means so much to me. I honestly have tears running down my face they are tears of happiness. Someone else cares for me and wants me to succeed. I'm not the only person struggling, falling on and off the weight loss wagon aimlessly. I'm going to do this...you ladies have given me a push in the right direction and for that I'm truly grateful.

In answer to a few question...

I work full-time. My hours are flexible but my days are very busy. I feel like a single parent to two highly active toddlers with DH being out of the house at work for a minimum of 12 hours a day. I'm going to work on planning a healthy meal plan that will work with my schedule. The boys eat dinner with my parents who pick they up from daycare during the week. I change them and put them to bed before feeding myself at night so I've got to work on healthy quick meals anything else won't work with the schedule I'm working with.

I'm 5'5" 230lbs. and I feel horrible. The weight has greatly affected who I am. I have no energy and I feel like a beached whale. I'm bigger now than I was the day I gave birth to either of our sons. My clothes all feel tight, I hate the searh for clothing that will hide roll after roll on my body. Fast food has become a convenient way of eating for me. I often eat out twice a day. Time management is going to be a big part of this for me and I'm going to try my best to make the transition from eating out to eating in an easy one.

Your successes have given me hope and you've inspired me. I want to be posting to someone that is just starting a year from now saying you can to it just like I did. I want to offer support and help like you have. It feels wonderful. I'm going to look into the other threads in this area and look forward to getting to know everyone better while we all get smaller. Biggest congrats to those at goal you are my heros...right now I look at you in awe and amazement. I hope one day I can look at myself in the same way when I finally hit goal.

Thanks so much :hug: :hug: you've made me want this even more.

Welcome, Donna! :welcome3:

When you said that you debated about posting because you didn't want to fail again and have everyone here think you are a failure, I wanted to let you know that I've felt similarly. But what I've figured out the hard way is that it is precisely when you fail that you need the people here the most. I've made the mistake of going into "lurk-mode" when I've slipped up, and all that does is prolong the slip. The accountability I feel to these amazing virtual friends helps keep me on track. And when I fail, I know I can expect encouraging words, and if I need it, a kick in the posterior.

So anyway, I'm looking forward to getting to know you! Post often!