Effects of Relationships on Self Esteem

Relationships and self-esteem may seem like two completely unrelated things, but the fact is that the health of your relationship can clearly reflect the condition of your self-esteem. Whether you’re looking for a relationship, already in one or in the process of getting over your last one, a relationship probably makes up a large and significant part of your life. It’s no wonder then that relationships can affect how we see and perceive ourselves and the reality around us, and it’s not just your romantic relationships – your relationships with family and friends can also affect your self-esteem. Whether it’s for good or for bad, here are some ways through which your relationships can affect your self-esteem.

Effects of Romantic Relationships

Before you start panicking that your low self-esteem will prohibit you from entering another relationship, you might want to read further first. You can have a relationship even if you have a low self-esteem, but needless to say, such a characteristic is not exactly an ingredient for success. If you happen to get into a relationship with someone who also has low self-esteem (studies showed that people get attracted to others with the same level of self-esteem), then the two of you will just be swapping negative vibes. Does this mean that you should get into a relationship with someone who has a high self-esteem instead? Not necessarily. If your high self-esteem partner has many friends of the opposite sex or has a bustling social life, your low self-esteem may cause you to feel jealous or insecure, causing problems in the relationship.

The only solution is to work on your own self-esteem – before entering a serious relationship if possible. Just as mismatched self-esteem levels can negatively affect a relationship, the opposite is also true. If you’re in a relationship with a person who enjoys a high self-esteem, then this may eventually rub off on you. Your partner may gradually help you feel good about yourself, hence, increasing your confidence and feelings of self-worth. This is one instance where having different levels of self-esteem may become beneficial.

Effects of Family Relationships

Before you were even old enough to enter romantic relationships, it was basically your relationship with your family that shaped the beliefs and views that you have today. For instance, if you grew up with parents who constantly encouraged you to do better and who praised you when you had accomplishments, then chances are you grew into an adult who has a strong self-esteem and who regards failures as a chance to improve. However, if you grew up in a family who constantly made you feel that nothing you do is good enough, then there is also a high probability that you entered adulthood with very low self-esteem.

Effects of Relationships with Friends

Just like your family, your friends can also affect the way you see yourself and the world around you. Good friends make you feel accepted, cared about and loved. However, if you had friends who took advantage of you or betrayed you, then you might start becoming an emotionally guarded person with trust issues. 


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