Why oh why?

August 9th, 2008

My stupid 19 year old son went and got his nose pierced today.  Why would he do that?  He looks like a… I don’t even know what!  There’s a photo on my other blog.  Feel free to leave comments there about what kind of mother raises a son that pierces his nose.

Is anyone here on Twitter?  If so, drop me a line because I am totally twitter-addicted and want to follow you and twit with you and, OMG, I feel like a 15 year old girl with all the texting/twitting I am doing on my cell phone.

And speaking of cell phones, I will be using mine to mobile blog my urban adventure tonight… going to an outdoor movie, THE GOONIES!  Is there one Corey or two in that?  Big walk (3 blocks) to Uptown Village where our neighborhood hosts a series of four outdoor movies every summer.  Big block party and you just camp your butt out in the street to enjoy the movie projected on the side of a building.  Good times! 

Other than the nose piercing, uneventful day.  Crappy workout but have been very good on food because I have been WORKING (gag gag) and haven’t taken many breaks.  Going to pop a JC pizza in the oven now.

DD9 had a complete pre-menstrual breakdown today (she is not even 10 yet, but I swear it has to be hormones!) and was just a stinking little brat until I bribed her with a cream puff.  How is that for setting her up for her own future food dysfunction?  Sorry, sometimes you’ve got to do what you’ve got to do, and it was either that or club her in the head with my purse in the store.  I blogged her with my cell phone, before and after the cream puff.  Again, feel free to critique my parenting finesse, or lack thereof.

I’m joining M3at49 and getupnow to say EFF IT to exercise this weekend!!

Just not right…

August 6th, 2008

DD9 just got picked up for a night out at the County Fair.  I called DH at work and said, honey, she won’t be home until 10:30 (she’s the only kid in the house tonight), what do you want to do?

I have visions of Happy Hour, of a movie, of couple-ness.

His response: Let’s go to the gym.

WTF?  I may have created a monster.

So, the upside: no happy hour, no movie popcorn, so I have a good diet day, on plan.  The downside: Romantic, not so much? 

Gym Goal: If I have to go to the gym, I may as well make it worth my while.  My goal tonight is to run at 5 mph for 20 minutes straight, no slow down breaks.  I’ll let you know how it goes.

If you have been visiting my other blog, SoNotZen.com, I need you to post a comment, because my sister has accused me of being an egomaniac and talking to myself and that no one is reading my stupid blog anyway because there are no comments.

 This is the same sister who had no children but told me what to do with mine, then had her one and only two years ago at age 36 and, OMG, he is a Tazmanian devil.  Yesterday he threw a sippy cup into a 42″ plasma TV and she said it shattered, looks like a spider web.  My kids on their worst day never did more than $2k of damage in one sitting, hee hee.

August Fitness Goals

August 2nd, 2008

I posted my August fitness goals on my other blog, taking a cue from some of the 3fc blogs I have been reading.

 Click here to check it out.

You’ll have to scroll down past the entries/photos of my midnight adventure to Barnes & Noble last night to purchase “Breaking Dawn.”  Can you say “Twilight Saga” obsession?

Mountain biking?? Um, why?

July 23rd, 2008

mountain-bike.jpgDD9 and I had this big plan.  We were going to ride our bikes to a farm 5 miles away that has u-pick and a nice market.  Friend of mine said, wow, that’s ambitious, it’s pretty hill.  So I decided maybe we should scope it out first, plus we needed to go to the store and it was near where we would be biking.  Loaded the bikes on the bike rack, thinking worse case scenario, we’ll go to the store, load our store goods in the car, then park at the trail head and bike to the farm.  That would still give us a 3+ mile bike ride and would eliminate the big hill from our house to the trail head.

Long story short, we drove past the farm and OMG it was very hilly, so we ended up driving to the farm with our bikes on the car, which is a form of biking is some warped logic, right?  I mean, we went there WITH our bikes, just not ON our bikes.  We bought rasberries, blackberries and sour cherries for canning, plus hit the grocery store and bought pectin and jars and lids.  Also bought some yummy local tomatos to have with dinner.

Then we parked at the trail head and decided we’d just ride the trails for a little while.  TALK ABOUT HILLY.  Our version of mountain biking went a little something like this: push the bikes up the hill then coast down.  Approach next hill, repeat.

WHY would anyone want to ride a bike uphill on purpose?  I do not get it at all.  And I’m talking little baby hills here, not mountain bike territory by any means.  DD9 was afraid to go too fast downhill.  I was loving it.  She said, “What am I going to do if you get hurt?”  I told her to take the cell phone out of my pocket and call 911.  Ha.  She didn’t like that at all.

Got home, googled how to make jam, and cooked up our berries.  We made freezer jam with all of the berries, but tomorrow I am going to try boiling water bath canning with the cherries.  We’ll see how that goes.

Then it was time to go to DD9’s violin lesson.  It’s 2.5+ miles each way.  We get about ten blocks and she is whining, doesn’t want to go up the hill.  So we would ride two blocks, stop and drink water.  Did this for about 10 blocks until we were no longer going uphill and were flat.  From there we made it to violin OK and even had a nice big hill to coast down at the end.  We all know what going down a nice big hill on your way TO your destination means, but apparently this isn’t so obvious when you are nine, so she was not freaking out, yet.

Had the lesson, everything is swell, and now it is time to bike home.  We get a couple of blocks and we’re at THE HILL.  DD9 starts in.  I can’t do it.  I can’t do it.  I am thinking NEITHER CAN I, BUT YOU DON’T HEAR ME WHINING ABOUT IT!  So I’m being the cheerleader, come on, we can do it, we’re so tough.  She’s not buying it and gets off to push her bike up the hill.  I decided to teach that kid a lesson, and I stood up on my pedals and hauled my still chubby ass up that bitch of a hill without stopping!  I thought I was going to die.  But I made it.

I turned around to glare at DD9 in triumph, and she is pushing her bike up the hill with her head resting on her arm on her handle bars, half asleep.  I said, HEY, LOOK AT ME, I MADE IT UP THE HILL.  She looks up and starts crying because she wants me to get off my bike and push.  UGH.  I said no way, I’m biking all the way home.  Eventually she got back on her bike and rode home, but JEEZ what an ordeal!

As part of the continued mother-daughter bonding fun that we were having, I made her pull the stems off of 3 lb of cherries while I pitted them.  I think our bond is now pretty much set for life.  What a job pitting 3 lb of cherries is.


Now she is in the car with dad going to the grocery store that is about a quarter of a mile away.  IN THE CAR!  Can you believe.  She now considers dad to be much more civilized than mom, what with his fanciful car driving to easily walkable and bikeable locations.  ((My new rule is if it’s within three miles, no freeway, we’re biking it.))


Whoever coined the phrase lazy days of summer obviously didn’t have shit to do, because I am going to need a vacation to recover from summer vacation if we keep at it at this pace!  I’m kind of glad I have to work tomorrow.

So my FIL is visiting from Chicago.  He has four sons.  He’s staying with us, two of the other sons live within 30 minutes of us and 4th son lives in Bend, Oregon, 3+ hours away.  So 4th son came into town and grandpa says “Hey, I’m going to cook for everybody Sunday night.  You get the day off.”  So I say okay, sweet, all I have to do is tidy up and he can do the cooking, because, honestly, HOW HARD CAN IT BE, right?  Fatal error in my thinking there, but at this point it did not occur to me that I AM having a dinner party.  I think I am off the hook.

So grandpa goes to the grocery store and stocks up on chicken breast (about 800 pounds of them) and sweet potatos and a sack of red potatos for potato salad.  I say I’ll make a green salad and I go to the farmers market for that stuff.  Grandpa tags along and buys some zucchini.  And I went to the store myself and picked up some chips, salsa, avacados, nuts for munchies before and popcicles and creme puffs for dessert after.  At this point, it’s kind of starting to feel like I’m having a party here.  No munchies? No dessert? Come on grandpa, bring your A game.

So it’s about two hours until people arrive and I say, “Are you going to marinate that chicken?”  and he says, “Huh?”

And I mention, “You should probably boil the potatos now to get that potato salad going,” and he says, “I don’t really know how to make potato salad.”

So I spent my “day off” in the kitchen boiling potatos, chopping onions, peppers and chives to make potato salad, marinating chicken, sauteeing zucchini, grilling sweet potatos… plus made my delish chopped salad and lemon vinegar-soaked cucumbers while grandpa drank beer on the deck with his boys and grandkids.  All told, I served a great meal to 11 adults, one teen, and five kiddies.  DH did do the actual grilling portion, which all turned out great.  FIL came in to help clean up and DD9 says, “That’s OK grandpa, you can go play cards.  I’ll help mom.”  And I thought oh, how cute, and then realized it was after 10 pm and she was just angling to stay up later : ) 

Entertainment for the night: DD9 and her girl cousins (age 6 and 4) put on a dress up fashion show.  DD9 gave a violin recital.  And DD15’s bio mom drank too much and fell over in the grass in a camping chair, which thrilled me no end because I am an evil and vile human being : )   Then my sisters in law both left to take their kids home, but the boys stayed on, and poker happened until 1 am.

I don’t know that I have mentioned before that DD15 is my stepdaughter. I have had her since she was 3, and for the last 12 years we’ve been doing this WE’RE ALL ONE BIG HAPPY FAMILY thing that makes many people ill but works for us, MOST of the time. 

I am trying for the life of me to remember what the point of this post is? haha.  Oh yeah, so I am proud of myself for putting together a healthy meal that was delightful.  And I am a little scared of myself for turning into my mother, because, OMG, I totally took over and saved the dinner from doom (he was just going to throw the chicken AND red potatos on the grill with salt and pepper, hello?).  I remember the many family parties when I was a kid that pretty much consisted of my dad entertaining and my mom toiling and I said NEVER will that be me.  But I did all the food prep, all the cooking and all of the clean up by myself while the menfolk lounged.  Don’t want to make that a habit!

I’m actually not pissed about any of it, either.  We had a fun night.  I must be morphing into some kind of domestic diva or something.

My visiting father in law is in my kitchen right now making blueberry pancakes for DD9.  I can smell the burning from my room, and just saw him trying to gauge my Le Cruset pan to death with a METAL spatula.  Am I getting in a snit and going down and taking over the making of the pancakes?  Why no, I am not.  Whose a control freak?  Not me, that’s who not.  Breathe in… breathe out.

Vineyard dinner last night was a lot of fun.  Guess what?  I left delicious food on my plate because I was full.  Natural portion control… I didn’t need the jenny craig box of food to tell me I had eaten enough.  Progress!  Here’s me in my natural sans-makeup glory… dear lord I cannot WAIT to be able to wear make up again.  Oh, I drank some, but not too much, and remained entirely appropriate all evening.  B O R I N G!  No, really, it was fun.vineyard2.JPG

Went for a nice run this morning.  It was about 60 degrees out with the sun shining bright.  It’s already starting to heat up now, but the early morning was lovely.  Heading for church now, and then father in law is cooking dinner for about 13 people here at my house, so I need to do a little tidying.  Maybe I’ll hide the good pots and pans while he’s in the shower.

Victim of Vanity

July 15th, 2008

OK, so I might have mentioned that I have to wear my glasses, no contacts, until my LASIK surgery on Thursday.  Maybe I mentioned that?  Haha.  Well, with that being the No. 1 worst thing about getting LASIK, the No. 2 worst thing is no eye makeup for a week afterwards.  Hello?  WTF is up with that?  I’ve been wearing mascara for eleventy million years and haven’t poked myself in the eye yet.  But I digress.

Being the vain creature that I am, I decided to have my eyelashes tinted.  What a great idea?  Well, OMFG, let me tell you, I think the eyelash tinting gal mistakenly thought I wanted my irises tinted, because that shit was all in my eyes and burned like a mo fo.  She kept reassuring me that it couldn’t damage my eyes, because it was vegetable based.  Well, I am here to tell you DO NOT STICK VEGETABLE JUICE in your eyes, because it burns like a bitch.

The upside of course is that my lashes are now lush and black and look fab.

While she was tinting, I also had my eyebrows waxed.  My brows and lashes are both blonde.  I am fair with light hair and freckles.  See a trend here? Tint gal says, hey, want me to put a little color on your brows while you are here?  Sure, great! is my response.

Little did I suspect she would use the same BLACK AS COAL tint from my lashes on my brows.  WTF????

So… here you go, me in all my zero makeup, f-ed up glasses glory.

PS. Brooke Shields called from 1983 and wants her brows back.  Thanks. brows.JPG

 On the ISN’T THAT IRONIC front… DD9 and I get all geared up to ride bikes to VBS and, voila, her tire is flat.  Not just flat, punctured.  Hmmmm.  Suspicious.  Thank God I know that she can’t get into the garage in the middle of the night without my knowing it or I might think she did it.  But the flat tire explains the whining on the last two bike rides if it has been losing air.

Anyway, took her to VBS in the car, then took her bike to the bike shop and they wanted $40 to put new tires and tubes on a bike that cost me $10 at a garage sale in 1999 for DD15.  Um, no thanks.  Went to walmart and got DD9 a new bike for $66, took it to VBS and chained it up.  When I show up at pick up time on my bike, she’s going to be very confused, and when she sees she has a new bike, she’s going to freak!  And the plus side is, the ride home is a mile and a half downhill, so she’s going to hopefully recpature her love of bike riding.

So, that’s all for now.  Me and my eyebrows are taking DD15 and DS19 out to lunch as a reward for helping do all of the housecleaning (grandpa is coming to visit for a week).  They had the option of help clean or leave the house, and I was not paying for help either.  They both stayed voluntarily, both put forth good effort and so out for Thai food as a reward.  I may seem to be making a big deal about the fact that two able-bodies young adults helped do chores, but these two are the laziest humans ever conceived, I promise you, it’s a big deal that they helped voluntarily, did good work and had good attitudes.  Something is probably really terribly wrong that they have not told me about yet. 

tiara.jpgDD9 is in bed crying herself to sleep because I told her we are most definitely riding our bikes to VBS again in the morning.  It’s official… when do I get my tiara and sash?

How safe does this look?

July 15th, 2008

fan2.JPGfan1.JPGIt is unbearably hot in my bedroom (which is a converted attic), but honestly, do you think DH is out to kill me in my sleep?