My, how time flies!!

I seem to have slacked a bit in my blogging efforts!! That’s the “never finish what I started” part shining through! Well, I am now almost a month and a half into this journey and I am very excited to announce that as of Friday I am down 21.5 lbs and a total of 12 inches!! God is definitely helping me!! It seems to have gone by so fast! I was reading back over some of the other entries I had written and remembered thinking as I wrote about how long it was gonna take me to get anywhere. My whole appetite has changed. I believe that it is mainly because I give my appetite to God every morning and ask Him to help me to make good and healthy choices for my body!

Between Curves and the Wii that we recently bought, I am “movin and groovin” a whole lot more than I ever did before! I feel better, I am sleeping better! And I give God ALL the glory and honor for that because I KNOW that without His help, I couldn’t have done anything! My appetite was just too much for me to try and handle on my own. I have been basically counting calories but not in the “write everything down” sort of way! I have just cut out a lot of things that I used to do like sweet tea, fried foods, sweets all the time!!! I really don’t miss it now and I crave water and healthy stuff! That is truly an act of God.

Mom and I were talking today about how I used to be. She said that she was so glad that I started taking care of myself! Now, to me, that seems like I was a dirty person who never showered or anything but I thought about it and I really wasn’t taking care of myself! Of course, I showered but I just gave my body whatever it wanted and if it didn’t feel like moving, I didn’t make it. I was, as she said, “just existing” She is so right! I was only existing but now I feel like living! Not like the “let’s go skydiving” kind of thing but I feel more alive than I did before. I don’t want to just sit around on the couch, I want to get up and move around and do things.

I still have a long way to go, but I have already come so far in such a short time! Praise and Thanks be to God!! People have actually told me that I “look” different. Not just “oh, you’ve lost weight” but sort of “your countenance is different” I am so excited about it!! I am looking forward to being able to wear my wedding rings again and go to a restaurant and get to sit in a booth without having to move the thing further apart and being able to shop for normal sizes and go on vacation and be able to walk around without everything hurting or having to stop and rest after a few minutes!! It’s the small simple things in life that people take for granted! I don’t want to take anything for granted!

I will make it! WE will make it! It can be done! It’s NOT an impossibility!! If there is one thing that I have learned, it’s that God is more able to bless and help us than we are to ask Him for anything!! NOTHING IS IMPOSSIBLE WITH GOD!! I will acknowledge Him in this because I know that I can do nothing on my own but with Him I can so all things through Christ who strengthens me!!

Day 17…

So far, so good!! I’m not down the 17.5 lbs I thought I was but I am at least down 13.5 lbs. It’s a great loss for 2.5 weeks I think. I am going to start my spring cleaning tomorrow! I have to go all the way with this!! I can do it!! I am worth it and I deserve better than I have been giving myself and my husband!! He deserves a fit and trim wife although he would probably rather starve than go on a diet but I love him anyway!! He’s my gift from God and it is WITH GOD that I am going to be able to see this through to the end!!

From a trucker’s wife….KEEP ON TRUCKIN!

Another day :)

Today marks day 13 I have been on this journey again! 🙂 I have tried this over and over and over but this time is going to be different! I have just come to a point in my life that I have to do something. Even though it’s only been two weeks, I have had a couple moments where I felt that “what’s the use” feeling. I refuse to give in to that this time! I always go at things full force only to fizzle in the end. Maybe that’s the problem, I start out too strong and then my get up and go, get’s up and leaves 🙂 I have tried to take it all in stride this time around.

This time, Me and God are on this journey! It is going to take His help to be able to get through this. At least that’s what it will take for me. We are all different people on the same journey. What works for one may not work for another. I think the calorie counting thing is what will work for me. My mother however is doing the SBD. That’s just not my cup of tea. I have to feel like I have choices when I eat. If I try restricting myself, my body gets all twitterpated and I feel as though starvation is in the near future! I’m sure there are others who feel that way. Curves also helps. It sort of keeps me accountable to myself and what I am doing. In order to do it, I have to get off the couch, and go to the facility. It just seems to work. I already feel a difference. My only problem is waiting for the weigh in. I refuse to buy a scale and really if I am going to be at Curves pretty much everyday, I don’t see the need when there is one there. They only weigh and measure once a month so that’s what makes it hard for me. I feel like I need to hop on the scale every time I go in. Stop it Stella!!

The weekends are different too. Now that the weather is changing, I feel the need for spring cleaning! I guess that’s why it’s called that! 🙂 There just doesn’t seem like there is enough hours in the day anymore. It’s harder on the weekends because I have to find things to do to busy myself so I don’t eat. I am doing ok do far. By the grace of God, I will not let this beat me!!!!!

I will get to that place I have longed to be for so many years!!!

I think I like this…

Well, today has been a good day! I didn’t really do all that much but a good day nonetheless!! Went to Curves this morning, We decided to do the tracking thing so we got our little cards that you put into each machine as you workout! There was a definite difference! You are on each station for 30 seconds and it usually took me 10 or 15 of those to get on the machine and then I would work it but before it got good I would have to change stations. With these cards you have to be on the machine before you put your card in so you get the full 30 second workout which is a little harder than before. I know, 30 seconds doesn’t seem like that much but when you are having to work those machines, it seems a lot longer than you would think 🙂

Anyway, we did that and I had to return a pair of pants that I bought yesterday because they were entirely too big! I guess I underestimated  my size just a dab 🙂 My mom has been craving this spaghetti dish that I make so we decided that that is what we would have for dinner. It is absolutely fab! We had been toying with the notion to try and make a “diet” coconut cream pie! My mother is notorious for making up things in her head and they 9 times out of 10 are fantastic so, she made the pie while I made the pasta (whole wheat mind you!) and we had dinner (with a salad of course, gotta get those veggies in) After dinner we tried that pie and OH MY GRAVY, that has got to be the best pie I have ever had in my life. Reduced fat graham cracker pie crust, sf/ff vanilla pudding, coconut flavoring, coconut of course, and cool whip lite!!! Talk about delish. We spent the better part of an hour trying to figure out how many calories were in the whole pie and finally concluded that the entire pie was around 1875 calories so for a 1/8 in slice it was 234 calories which in my opinion isn’t all that much.  In the midst of all this calculating we also discovered (which shocked the daylights out of my mother) that ff milk has 12 grams of sugar per 8 oz cup!!! Did anybody else know that because I sure didn’t! Here we are thinking we are doing good by drinking ff milk and the whole time it’s full of sugar!! What a sneaky trick!

I have learned that anything fat free is usually full of sugar, anything sugar free is full of fat and anything that is fat free and sugar free usually tastes like junk!!! I guess that’s why they say “All things in moderation” You just can’t get away from it all!!!

another day closer…

Well, I am now a week and a half into this journey! I hate not being able to weigh every day! I know I have to get back in the swing of this. Going to Curves you get weighed and measured once a month! I guess I can live with that. Besides, the number of lbs lost will be greater a month at a time instead of weekly or daily!

I had mentioned before in one of my posts that I believe that 3FC was a God-send. I have never seen so many people in one place with all having the same goal, to lose weight and get healthy! You certainly don’t see things like this on TV. Society would have you believe that you are supposed to be a size 2 in order to be accepted! Well, that is simply not true. It’s an obvious fact that more of America is overweight than not and I’m sure that is attributed to hectic schedules and too many fast food places at our fingertips. Even though a lot of those places are trying to change over to healthy stuff, who is really gonna go to a fast food joint for a salad…they want cheeseburgers and fries and shakes!

I am currently in the mind set that I CAN DO THIS and my intentions are to do this all the way to the end this time! I mentioned in my first blog that I am very bad to start something and never finish it! I was talking with my mother today and she was telling me that I didn’t really start gaining weight until I got into school. Kids can really be so cruel and they have to get it from somewhere! Children are naturally outspoken and have no filter when they speak. That’s why they have to be taught!

Now I know I can’t blame my weight on other people because they aren’t the ones who shoved all that food in my mouth. Well, they didn’t physically any way but people eat for all different reasons besides just the natural hunger. I think I was an emotional eater. You have heard of people who eat their feelings? I was one of those people, nice to meet you! 🙂 As I grew older I was still an emotional eater and then I added emotional and bored eater. I was never very active growing up. Don’t get me wrong, I had my share of playing outside and I had my active times in my late teens, early twenties but that was mainly because I wanted a boyfriend/husband!

I feel like I could just type forever about things. There is so much to tell but I won’t bore you with those details. I’m just really glad that God let me realize what I was doing to myself! I know it was Him. I never really cared before because my husband would tell me that I am beautiful and he didn’t care about my weight. It bothered me from time to time that I wasn’t more trim and fit for him but I let my hunger overpower that feeling! He is supportive, don’t get me wrong but I don’t think he really understands why I’m doing this. He is one of those people who grew up on that southern food too and He really likes his fat!! If he even thinks its diet, he won’t touch it! I can’t use him as an excuse anymore either! I did that too, I would buy sweet stuff and say it was for him but really eat it myself. He’s a truck driver and on the road a lot! It was obvious to everybody but me!!!!

Thank God for showing me what I need to do. He is helping me everyday because I know that I couldn’t do this without Him, I’ve tried and failed miserably!! So, I am another day closer to this place I have never been and I can’t wait to get there!! 🙂

In the beginning…

Well, where to start! I have never written a blog but I have seen it done 🙂 First of all, let me mention this, there are two types of people as I’m sure a lot of you are aware…The person who has been thin and then got “fat” and the person who has always been “fat”

I guess I will begin by telling a little bit about me…

I haven’t always been a “fat” person. I was fairly small as a child until the age of around 6 or so. This is when I discovered food! My family is FULL of great cooks and what they cooked is that “Good ole’ southern food!” You know the type, mashed taters, corn, green beans, cornbread, casseroles of every kind, dumplings, fried things such as chicken, okra, and even the taters got fried from time to time, and naturally there was the famous breakfast in my house of gravy and biscuits, grits, bacon, sausage, and eggs! Of course, some of these things aren’t all bad for you such as the green beans and corn but when they are fixed “southern style” well, the good stuff goes away and in goes the bad!

Anyway, these are the things I grew up eating not mention the fact that most of us were taught to “eat what is put before you” That must be a southern thing too! I guess it just seemed rude to leave food on your plate! Well, as time went on so did the weight and putting on weight at such an early age drastically affected my life so you see, I am the person who has always been “fat”

Of course that affected my childhood, especially at school where we all know that kids can be VERY cruel!! I will skip that part though. Now on to my teenage years. I started working when I was 15.5 because I wanted a car! That was the deal in my house, you want a car, get a job! I am now grateful for that rule otherwise I wouldn’t know the value of things you have to work for. I digress. Back to the story, people have always made snide remarks about my weight in one way or another. They would either make a joke about it to me and then giggle or the “behind your back” sort of thing. I grew up with a chip on my shoulder because of my weight. I eventually decided that I would make fun of myself before people had a chance to that way maybe it wouldn’t seem as much fun for them to do it! It didn’t help, there were still the remarks in some form or another. I tried WW at a young age too. It worked for a while but like all the other diets I have tried, I gave up and gained the weight back.

Ultimately it has been my own self holding me back! I am unfortunately also the type of person who is gung-ho about starting things but very rarely finish them! I hate that about myself. As I got older and decided that my life long dream was to be a mother and a wife, I realized that wasn’t going to be an easy task because, let’s face it, guys don’t go for fat chicks. At least not in my neck of the woods. I did however manage to go out with a few guys here and there. It never seemed to work out. Long about the age of 24, I met the love of my life through, believe it or not, Yahoo personals! By that time I had been on a Slim Fast plan, I was walking, playing tennis, and doing the Walk Away the Pounds plan! I had lost quite a bit. It didn’t seem to matter though. He turned out to be exactly what I had prayed for…someone who would love me for me and not my appearance!! As time went on, I discovered that we had quite a bit in common. He had also had the unpleasant experience of being an overweight child!

We had endured some of the same challenges although he handled his somewhat different than I did. My dream was coming true…five months after we started dating, he proposed and in January 2004 we were married! I was finally a wife! The mother part I am still working on.

The point is that I have struggled with my weight as far back as I can remember but now, I am embarking on yet another journey in my life and this time it’s to a place I have never been and when I get there, I’m sure I won’t ever want to leave!! My faith also plays a big part in this journey! I am a firm believer that I can do ALL things through Christ who strengthens me!! Without God I am NOTHING and I can do NOTHING!! After a recent trip my husband and I made to Pigeon Forge and Gatlinburg, I realized just how far gone I really am! And wouldn’t ya know it that while I was sitting on a bench in the middle of Gatlinburg taking a breather from walking around for a short period of time, I received a voicemail telling me that I had been chosen for a free week at Curves! My cousin had put my name into a lead box and it was drawn! It was like a light was turned on and I could now see what everybody else had been looking at and it was very disturbing to me.

So now, with the help of God, my family, and countless others, I am beginning a journey to a place I have never been and I can’t wait to get there! 🙂