Picking A Bone

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It’s been about 5 months now since I hurt my back and I’m only now just starting to do light stretches and pelvic tilts to try and strengthen the weakened back muscles. I see the physiotherapist twice a week who continues to do the ultra sound therapy, “release” (light massage), and thinks I would benefit from acupuncture treatments. And starting next week, I’ll be going once a week until September 7th.

I have an appointment/meeting with the WSIB back to work “specialist” and my employer on Friday morning to try to get me back to work. My physiotherapist says I can do one hour, 2-3 times a week for two weeks and then increasing by one hour every two weeks after that until I’m back up to full time hours. That is, of course, barring any set backs. I feel I am able to do this at this time but know full well my employer and WSIB will try to push for more in a shorter span of time.

What they don’t know is that my husband and I are in agreement with my doctor that I’m not able to do this type of work anymore so once I’m back up to full time hours, I will consider quitting to pursue a less physically demanding job. Even though this whole time I’ve been off work, I’ve been sending out resume’s by the dozen and have had absolutely NO calls or interviews. It’s very discouraging for me and I’ve been fighting depression a lot, which of course, has me eating out of emotion.

On the bright side, I finally got approved for sick benefits from EI (government employment office) while I’m off work. Thank the Lord! These finances are very much needed!

I now weigh 231lbs…. I am getting more active but still not able to do exercise or anything too strenuous. I did a very slow and easy 10 minutes on the elliptical last week and was in major pain for three days after so I know I’m still a long way from anything more than light stretches and supported movements at this time.

Can it get anymore depressing than that? 🙁 SO not happy right now. I need a job and the ability to exercise this stress off. Until this happens, I find I’m just eating myself into oblivion…

I’ve Fallen and I Can’t Get Up!

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A couple of days ago, I was walking toward my front door to lock the house up and tripped over my husband’s work bag sitting on the floor in the middle of the foyer and when I braced myself for a fall and caught myself, I hurt my back in doing so. Ever since then I’ve been struggling with some serious vertigo. I’ve been unable to walk without falling over and feeling like the room is moving around all the time. I’ve been nauseous and dealing with an aching stomach as if I’d been on a massive roller coaster the past two days. I can’t focus or think and when I try to listen to a conversation, I get “lost” in the words. It’s like being in an episode of “Charlie Brown” when he’s at school and listening to the teacher go “wha-wha, wha wha”… that’s basically how it goes in my head right now. I find if I just sit very still and don’t move, the vertigo eases up. But the moment I turn my head or move my body, I’m back on that roller coaster and I feel like I’m going to fall again.

When I was driving the husband and son to work this morning, I even blanked out when I was supposed to be making a right turn at a “roundabout” and wasn’t able to think about what I should do next. I basically “froze” at the intersection and the husband had to tell me to go ahead and do the whole roundabout to my “exit”… He’s very concerned and rightly so… I was supposed to be doing the grocery shopping today, but I feel it best if I just stay home and stay still. Husband thinks I should call my family doctor but in my opinion, my doctor is no better than a drug pusher on the streets. The only difference is, the doctor is making six figures and doing it legally…. I don’t want drugs to “fix” my problem, I want real life SOLUTIONS!

The back issue continues to be ongoing and WSIB remains distant and non-compliant. I’ve managed to stabilize my weight to 227lbs and have been staying within my calorie budget of 1979cals with the occasional splurge. However, it’s very difficult when the husband eats at 11pm and makes some for me too. He’s so proud of his guacamole and wants to share it with me to see what I think, it’s hard to resist home-made guacamole and crispy flatbreads brushed with garlic butter and heated, I have to appease. After giving the husband some grief about it last night, I managed to scarf down the little plate of goodness along with an ice cold coke before heading to bed at midnight. The funny thing is, I was still BELOW my calorie budget for the day after that. Crazy but I find if I eat after 7pm, I do gain weight no matter how good I was during the day in controlling my calories. I’ll try to do better today…