Day 4 – Fats N’ Gobs

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Fat – one of those ugly words no one likes to say or hear. The mere mention of the vile word invokes feelings of despair and defeat with images of gobs of yellow jelly jiggling every which way. We can’t live with it, and we certainly can’t live without it. Our bodies need a certain amount of fat in order to work properly. Everything from being able to absorb essential nutrients from the other foods we eat – to providing much needed energy. The people in the “know” say we should only have about 4% body fat but I feel that number is a little low to be realistic. I know someone who weighs all of about 140lbs at 5’9″ and her doctor tells her she’s got too much fat on her skinny frame just because she’s got 7% body fat.

Now consuming the right fats is a good thing and as with everything else…. in moderation. I personally do not like the typical fast food joints like McDonalds and Burger King, et al, as it is chock full of additives, chemicals and God only knows what else has been scraped off those processing plant floors that end up in the “food”* (*and I use this term quite loosely) If I eat out, it’s usually a place where the food is actually created on the premises and prepped that day. But for the most part, I like to eat at home mainly because I know what is going into the meal as opposed to not being able to see what has gone into the food behind that big windowless door in the back.

Since I work in a kitchen and cooking is a part of my life, I have seen a lot of things happen in restaraunts and would NEVER eat in them unless I can see the cooks preparing the food personally. If I go into a nice resaraunt, I will sometimes ask if I could visit the kitchen and if they say “no”, I know it’s not the place for me and I leave. This is usually a HUGE red flag that the place is not safe to eat at. If they let you see the kitchen, then you have found yourself a decent place to eat.

Weather: freezing rain, windy

Mood: pensive and a bit lonely

Sleep: 6hrs a bit tired

Physical: ribs and shoulders hurt but overall pretty good today

Activity: housecleaning – 2+ hrs = 467 cal burned

Total Calories Allowed: 2032cal

Total Calories Consumed: 1322cal

Day 3 – Woes of Caffeine and Sugar

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I usually have only 1 coffee a day when I get up in the mornings and only once in a while do I ever consume more than that. It’s inevitable that research indicates caffeine contributes to the pain and swelling of FM (what doesn’t?) however I would dispute the contribution of only one cup of coffee to the amount of pain and swelling I experience daily. I was normally a dedicated coca cola drinker and have even stopped drinking that completely in an effort to eliminate the symptoms of this dreaded pain.

I do not tend to like sweet things too much and I only have one teaspoon of sugar in my one coffee per day routine. Sugar is not a problem for me as far as losing weight is concerned. Where I faulter is in my love of international foods and spice. If someone were to offer me a choice between either a piece of cake or a spicy roti, I would most definitely opt for the roti in ALL circumstances. I do not like cookies, cakes, ice cream, chocolate bars and the like. I can pass up a dessert bar anyday.

So why do I weigh as much as I do you ask?… That question has been tossed around for years in our household. My family accuses me of never eating enough and I feel I eat too much. I track every morsel I consume yet I continually gain weight. I use “Lose It” on my IPod and enter my values every day. I weigh myself daily to track fluctuations in weight. I am always concious of portion sizes and nutritional values in everything I eat. My average caloric intake is between 1500 – 1700 calories a day. I very rarely go over 2000 calories unless we go out for a buffet meal. I don’t think I’m a big carb addict but know I do love rice dishes when I have the opportunity to eat them.

Okay, so where are my weak points? I know I tend to go to the fridge several times throughout the day and look. I noticed this a lot lately where I’d just stand there and stare at what was in there thinking… “what could I grab?” or, “what can I make?”…  A lot of times, I don’t grab anything but if I do, I tend to go for the raw veggies or leftovers (if there’s anything left after my son gets through with them!) Oh and I love crunchy peanut butter sandwiches with various accompaniments. Toppings could include, cheese, banana, jam, jelly or chocolate spread and I ONLY ever eat this sandwich at bedtime. It’s almost like a bedtime snack, only better.

So today, I tried to be good. I ate oatmeal with apple and cinnamon (not prepackaged!) for breakfast/lunch then for dinner I had grilled steaktails with baked potato. I also had a cucumber and tomato salad.

Weather: Cool and sunny

Mood: upbeat and content

Sleep: 6hrs rested

Physical: hands swollen and stiff joints

Activity: housecleaning – 4+ hrs = 948 cal burned

Total Calories Allowed: 2057cal

Total Calories Consumed: 1270cal

Day 2 – A Work In Progress

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Woke up and had the usual coffee. My sister-in-law is Vietnamese and makes these wonderful little spring rolls and she had given me a box of them a few days ago. I cooked them up this morning and had 4 for breakfast/lunch. They are about 1/3 the size of an egg roll found at any Chinese retaraunt and healthier to boot. Filled with minced chicken and vegetables (because I do not eat pork), they pack a flavorful punch. Dipped in Thai chili sauce, they satisfy my craving for spice and crunch.

For dinner tonight, I plan on making baked chicken with rice, mixed vegetables & salad. I rarely eat sweets so no dessert is in the foreseeable future.

So far, I have been able to control my urge to go to the fridge and see what I can munch on. Hopefully I can hold out until I start making dinner. I am noticing this is a “habit” more than a “need”. Especially when I’m not sure what to do with myself. All the housework is done and I don’t tend to watch television. I don’t really feel like working on the scarf or afghan I have in progess either. Kinda wishing I had a friend to hang out with right now. 🙁

Weather: Sunny, windy & cold

Mood: bored and bordering on depressed

Sleep: 4hrs, restless

Physical: headache, hands swollen & achy

Total Calories Allowed: 2057cal

Total Calories Consumed Today: 1548cal

My First Day

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We all know how hard it is to lose weight. We struggle with it every day for the bulk of our lives. From the time we are reminded at the dinner table to clean our plates to the last moment when we are encouraged to “try to eat a little something” before we are wheeled into our nursing home beds at the end of a very long and lonely day.

I wasn’t always fat, but I have always struggled with my weight and how I viewed myself. Now I find myself at the young age of 44 overweight and in poor health. I struggle daily with fibromyalgia, swelling, low self-esteem and on the edge of depression which add to my never-ending battle with the bulge. Unable to exercise or walk any distance at all, I am forced to look online for help. I search the infite web for clues that will unlock this pandora’s box I have found myself in. A diet that would help me lose weight and literally get me back on my feet once again.

So here I am. Day 1 and looking for answers. I stumbled upon 3fatchicks on a diet and figure I’ll at least start there and go from here. I used to journal daily before I found myself at the bottom of a bowl of cereal gasping for breath because I just ate way too much. I felt guilty and stopped exploring my soul for the reasons for my inability to stop eating to bury my emotions.

So if you are reading this and find a little bit of yourself in my struggle, I ask that you be kind in your judgements and gentle in your comments. I too, will do the same.

Today, I decided to stop eating after 6pm. Just water until morning. Wish me luck!