Reality. I’m fat.

10 Jul, 2010

Constant Reminder in my Head

Posted by: shellydeflores In: Uncategorized

So I’ve been okay the last couple of days. The heat is really making me lose my appetite which I guess I can construe as a good thing. Everytime I update my weight loss tracker I think wow, I am 14 lbs lighter than my heaviest weight- 287 a year ago. Thats pretty awesome and I never thought I would be that much lighter. Thats actually 5% of my body weight. Wow. When I put it into terms like that it sounds fantastic.

I know that this 5% is a huge accomplishment but I can’t help droning on the fact that is is a very small percentage and I need 45% more to get half of this body off of me. It seems soooo daunting. I know I won’t give up because if I do, I’ll stay there. Miserable, single, alone- the cat lady. I guess I could l could look at it as 9 more 5% goals of the strt weight. Haha. So 10 in all. Yea I guess I could do that.

A constant reminder that has kept me going is my mother. She will be here in exactly 3 months. So far I am down only 10 from June but 14 from a year ago. Thats good. My mother has me all jacked up in the head. I clean constantly thinking she is watching me or disapproving the way I clean. I’ve become a serious germaphobe -mostly for other reasons- but I can’t stop getting things clean. I have spent most of today cleaning and getting her room ready….when she won’t be here for 3 months! What is wrong with me?  I vacuumed, I washed the walls, I even took furniture from down stairs to put up there to make it look like more of a room. I even got on my hands and knees and with a wash cloth used oxy clean to scrub out tiny marks in the carpet. I am becoming obsessed! I don’t do this when friends come over. I really don’t care much what they think of my place. Anyway…all in all, I have a clean place that smells clean and feels amazing! I can’t complain about my obsessiveness with that.

On a more happy note, my pants are beginning to fit better. I have a couple of capris that are fitting quite a bit easier when I put them on that I don’t even need my Spanx, which is a huge accomplishment for me. I don’t know whether it is because I have stretched them out or what but I know that the belt I put around them sure is has more spare belt coming out of the other side of the buckle-this doesn’t lie!

The scale had me officially as of Friday morning at 273.6.  Don’t know if I said that yet or not but-WOW! I never thought I would see that number a year ago! 


1 Response to "Constant Reminder in my Head"

1 | carterxoxo

July 10th, 2010 at 9:39 pm


Congratulations on your new low weight! I hope you have a good time while your mother is in town. Try not to let her be to critical of your home. It sounds like you put a lot of work into it. I wish I had a little of your neurosis and could get my house in some sort of decent shape! Not to mention all the calories you burned doing housework.

Comment Form

  • Saathi: Sure im writing lil bit too late....actually, u may be fine by now, but still i wanted to say something about the things u'd written here. First of al
  • shellydeflores: Oh and weight has hit a new low. 252.6. Although today is Thanksgiving so we'll see how long that laster.
  • shellydeflores: Oh and FYI-i'm on my period so I am not daring to weigh. EFFF that. I don't need the heart ache right now.