Where to begin?

I have to get back on track.  On with my life.  I’ve spent the morning just doing nothing.  First time in a couple of weeks that the house has been quiet and no one has been demanding something of me.

It’s time to regroup, refocus and get back to taking care of myself.  Of course, last night when we went to bed, DH told me his heartbeat is irregular again.  Says it’s been that way for four or five days.  Did he call the doctor?  No.  He waits until Sunday night to mention it.  And he was off Thursday afternoon, all day Friday, Saturday and Sunday.  I just don’t have any strength left to deal with other people not taking care of themselves.  Sorry.

Little sister called me this morning to tell me that Mom is refusing to answer her bedside phone.  Even though it’s sitting on her lap.  Says she doesn’t feel up to talking to anyone.  She’s just too tired.  And yet she complained to little sister that no one has called to see how she’s doing.  Continues to tell everyone that no one would give her anything to eat but yogurt.

Of course I’m hurt that she would do that but I’m not letting it get me down.  She’s a bottomless cup.  There’s just no filling her up.  You give and give until you’re empty yourself and she’s still wanting more.  I tried to call her.  Just so I could say I did.  But she’s not answering the phone.  Wants everyone to call the nurse’s station to see how she’s doing and then the nurses will go in her room and say, “Your daughter, Patty, called to see how you are.”  And I’m not going to do it.  The nurses have enough to do.

I’m looking around the house and you can tell I haven’t been here for a while.  The laundry is piled up.  The bathroom looks like it belongs in a BP Gas Station.  Sheets need changing, the carpet needs vacuuming and the kitchen is full of clutter.

I’m going to rest.  Watch TV.  Play my games on Facebook.  Fix a good healthy dinner of Lemon Garlic Chicken, fresh green beans from the garden and homegrown tomatoes.  Start logging in on My Fitness Pal and recording what I eat.  No pool laps today.  I think we’re finished for the year.  The water is very cold because temps are going down in the 50s at night and it’s supposed to be even colder this week.  At some point, I’ll grab my bathing suit and jump in.  Do a final vacuum for the year and clean it up.  Get it closed before the leaves start falling in bushels.  But not today.

Think I’ll go watch some TV while the chicken thaws on the counter.  Maybe, when I feel a little more energetic, I’ll go across the street and pick some green beans and tomatoes.


laura705 says 17th September @ 15:18

Rest and focus on your needs – if you don’t you won’t be any good to anyone else for very long.

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