That’s what DS said to me yesterday evening.  When I was whining after he came home from work.  Well, he asked what was wrong so I told him.  I made homemade beef vegetable soup and “take and bake” whole grain bread for dinner and DH didn’t eat.  And Andrew, DGS, passed on the warm, crusty bread.  And Steven, DGS, never eats anything healthy so he didn’t even try it.  So the entire loaf of bread just sat there and I was the only one who ate any of it.  And I wound up with a gallon of soup in the fridge.

And then I told DS that I rented a movie that I thought DH would enjoy but he didn’t want to watch it and went to bed.  And he didn’t even notice that I cleaned out the refrigerator and cleaned the oven.

And then DS looked at me and said, “Mom, you need a hobby.”

sigh…I’m not doing too well with this retirement thing.  I woke up this morning and I’m facing another day of … nothing.  I’ve got to get a grip.  It’s not so much having the day off.  It’s more about having every day off and looking at days and days and days of … nothing…

This is not the retirement I bargained for.  I never really thought about it but I kind of had this vision of DH and I traveling all over the country in the RV.  Staying in one exotic locale for a week or two and then moving on to the next place.  Free as birds.  Going wherever we wanted whenever we wanted.

I didn’t plan on retiring before him.  And, in my dreams, I never had to consider that the RV gets 8 miles to the gallon.

So I guess I need to get a hobby, or find some volunteer work, or do something.

I let it get me down yesterday.  I didn’t even post.  I just spent the day going through bills and cleaning the house and planning dinner.  I did do my laps and I did eat healthy.  I even began the day with a weight loss of another half pound.  And then the day wore on and on and I got bored.  I went out and rented a movie and planned on watching it with DH.  He got home from work late and passed up my soup and bread and I walked in the kitchen to find him making a grilled cheese sandwich and it hurt.  It really hurt my feelings.  So then I got kind of mopey and moody and just sulked and he was only home for an hour and a half or so before he went to bed.  And then I was lonely.  So I ate my soup and had a slice of bread with Brummel and Brown Yogurt Spread and I watched some TV and had another bowl of soup and another slice of bread.  And then I watched some more TV and had a bowl of Schwan’s Carb Comfort Butter Pecan Ice Cream.

I woke up this morning and I’m still in a funk.  Hobby?  I can’t think of anything I really want to do at the moment.

Uggghhh…I can’t stand myself.  I’m going to start organizing my yard sale stuff.

1:00 Update – We’ve got roofers.  Dammit!  I went out to do my pool laps and discovered that the neighbor directly behind us is getting a new roof.  I’m sorry, but no, I don’t want to get in the pool and run around it for an hour with a bunch of roofers looking right down on top of me.

So I went in the shed and cleaned it out a little bit.  DH’s territory but even he doesn’t go in it unless he has to.  It’s a disaster.  I don’t know how he can find anything.  Oh, wait, that’s right, he can’t find anything.  So I got a hammer and some nails and pounded a few nails into the beams and started organizing and hanging things up.  He has tons of room out there but it’s so disorganized.  His shed is 12′ X 12′ and he could easily fit all his tools and stuff but you can’t walk in the door.  So I cleared out one corner and then got too hot.  We’re finally getting some heat back.  The temperature is 90 degrees.

I came out of the shed and cleaned up the lean-to on the side of the house by the spa.  We use it to dry off and change but it also stores my bicycle and DH’s motorcycle.  I swept out a six inch carpet of leaves and used a 5 X 7 outdoor carpet to line the concrete.  I don’t like standing on wet concrete when I get out of the spa at night.  I always imagine worms and creepy crawlies.  The lean-to is covered on three sides but water runs into it from the patio when it rains and it seems like all the leaves blow in there and get trapped.  After that, I swept off the patio and raked a few leaves in the yard.  Filled up one big lawn bag.

I took my shower and now I’m ready to straighten up the house.  Weighed myself and I’m up a half pound from yesterday but that’s okay.  I usually weigh after I do my exercise and take a shower but I still haven’t done any exercise today.  Maybe the roofers will leave this afternoon and I can get my laps in.


laura705 says 23rd August @ 10:46

Since you weren’t even sure if you’d get to retire, it’s not like you were able to plan this out. And it hasn’t been very long. But I can see how it’s stretching before you, and it’s not like you thought…Is there some sort of restriction on you doing other work part time? Like tutoring or something? That might be an option, and/or volunteering. I’m sure you’ll figure it out. 🙂

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