Sorry I’ve been gone so long.  So much has happened and sometimes it seems like it’s just too overwhelming to try to log on to 3FC and get things all caught up.  Still, I miss my chicklets so much!  I’ll do better.  I promise.  A renewed committment to post on a regular basis.

I don’t do much these days in terms of taking care of myself.  I’m a mess and it’s depressing and yet I just don’t do anything about it.

My ankles hurt really bad.  The change in my teaching has contributed to it a lot.  My classroom is so far from the action.  It’s a long, long way to the office, the restroom, the mail room.  This trimester, I teach 1st through 4th periods without a break.  My lunch and planning period come at the very end of the day and I can barely walk by the time they roll around.  I’ve tried to get off my feet as much as I can but it just doesn’t work.  The minute I sit down, one of my students needs something.  So I stand, from 7:00 to 1:00.  I went to Frankfort to see what I have to do to retire and I told my retirement counselor that I had hoped to work another three or four years but I just can’t do it.  She suggested I apply for disability through the teachers disability retirement option.  I would actually get $1,000 more each month and, if approved, I could get disability for up to five years and then retire.  I’d get more money each month and have an additional five years added on to my work years.  Wow!  I never knew about that.  She said I need three specialists to fill out disability forms.  It was easy to get the one from my orthopedic surgeon.  I don’t know about the other two.  I have appointments coming up on the 19th and 22nd with two new doctors.  I hope they agree with the first one.

The funny thing is…I could probably take care of a lot of the pain if I didn’t have to work.  If I didn’t have to stand all day, my ankles wouldn’t hurt so bad and I could start walking again, lose weight and feel a lot better.

Either way, I’m going on disability or retiring at the end of the year.  I just can’t do everything I have to do for my job and take care of myself at the same time.  I get up at 5:00 every morning, get ready for work and arrive around 6:45.  I park in the back of the building and carry my laptop, briefcase, lunch, purse and coffee up 33 stairs.  I go in my classroom and dump everything on the floor.  I actually weighed my stuff one day.  My briefcase, purse and computer added up to 21 pounds.  That doesn’t really seem like a lot but it gets pretty heavy by the time I hit the second flight of stairs.  Of course, I’m also lugging an extra 75 pounds of personal lard so we’re looking at close to 100 extra pounds.

After catching my breath and unloading all my stuff, I head down to the office and mail room to sign in.  That’s 220 steps.  I check in and then walk another 220 steps back to my room.  I usually head down to the copy room, 100 steps or so, and make any copies I need for the day, then I head back to my classroom.  I tidy up my desk and get ready for the kids and they start hitting the door around 7:30.  Then it’s non stop action for the next six hours.  No time to go to the restroom or sit down or do anything else.  My students are a lot better this trimester than the ones I had last trimester but I still have to be up, circulating around the room, and staying on top of them.  Finally, my lunch rolls around at 1:00 and I can run the last kiddo out of my room.  I finally get to go to the restroom (way down the hall) and take care of lesson planning, grading, and whatever else I have to do.  I’m usually working at my desk until around 3:30 or 4:00 and then I load up all my junk and try to navigate 33 stairs with my ankles screaming in protest and then another 100 steps or so to my car.

Honestly, by the time I get home, I just collapse.  I’m done.  I’m done in.  I just read or watch TV until it’s bedtime.  And then I wake up and do it all again.  And I hate, Hate, HATE when we have to stay after for a faculty meeting or inservice or something.  That means I have to repeat that 220 steps back down to the front of the school, attend whatever meeting is going on, and then walk back to my room again.

Enough about that…I know you really don’t want to hear it  (I don’t either) but I’m just trying to hang on.  I keep telling myself that I’m going to start eating healthier and exercising again.  In fact, I promised myself that I’m going to eat healthy and hit the treadmill today.  But I don’t know how realistic that is.  I worked yesterday teaching Saturday school and my ankles are hurting pretty bad.  Guess I’ll take some Aleve and try to get moving.

Brandi, Brandi!  Have I lost you?  I went to your blog and tried to post a comment but it said the post I was trying to comment on didn’t exist in the 3FC database!


laura705 says 15th March @ 10:14

I hope you get approved to go on disability. You shouldn’t have to work in such pain. It’s terrible that you have to be on your feet for so long with no breaks! Good luck with your upcoming doctor’s appointments.

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