That’s what my mom used to say when we were headed for trouble.  “You’re cruisin for a bruisin!”  Down in the dumps?  Pity party?  Doesn’t really matter.  They’re all saying the same thing.

I’m still depressed.  Still full of pity.  Still can’t seem to get it together.

The cruise was nice but I felt bad most of the time.  I had reflux every night.  My legs and feet were horribly swollen.  We thought it was due to my broken toe but it was both feet so that couldn’t be it.  I struggled with my diet.  No fruit, no salads, mostly carbs.  Nothing to drink for eight hours a day and I still had some minor problems with incontinence.  On top of that, my back was killing me for two days.  So bad I could barely move.

One morning, I woke up and went to the bathroom and almost passed out.  I got back in bed and told DH I was feeling terrible.  He said he’d go to the buffet and bring me some breakfast so I wouldn’t have to go out.  We rented a movie and watched it and I was feeling better by early afternoon so we went upstairs to the buffet for lunch.  I went through the buffet line, sat down at the table and broke out in a cold sweat.  DH said I was pale as a ghost and I knew I was going to pass out any second.  I had to lie down on the bench in the booth until the room stopped spinning enough for me to go back downstairs to the stateroom.  I spent the rest of the day in bed, watching rented movies.

The next day, I felt better but I’ve had a couple of similar incidents since I got home.  On top of that, I discovered I have a prolapsed uterus and will probably need a hysterectomy.  I have an appointment with my GYN on the 9th.  She said to avoid lifting, exercising or exerting myself for the time being. I read on the internet that a prolapsed uterus can cause backache, frequent urination and bowel incontinence so I’m hoping that might be the cause of all my misery. 

I went back to my butt doctor and told him the routine of medication and restricted fluids didn’t seem to help and he said he doesn’t know of anything else but he definitely does not think I would benefit from surgery.  I told him about my prolapsed uterus and asked him if that could be causing the bowel problems and he said he wished it were so but I have nerve damage and that’s not caused by a prolapsed uterus.  In the meantime, I’m eating a lot of carbs and living with a sort of self induced state of constipation most of the time.

Now…don’t you wish I’d kept quiet?  I’ve been putting off posting here.  I mean, really, what am I supposed to do?  I eat cheese, bread, potatoes and anything else that keeps me constipated.  I can’t exercise.  Very limited amounts of fruits or vegetables.  My back is killing me, my feet and legs are swollen and my weight is up to 210 f*cking pounds!  Dammit!  I’m so depressed.


incontrol2day says 5th December @ 11:51

I’m sorry you are feeling down both physically and mentally. Your DH sounds very supportive and warm. I hope your doctor’s appointment alleviates your pain and discomfort.

Best of luck with everything and thank you for posting. I think it’s important to post both the good stuff and the bad stuff when we blog because that’s what’s real.

Happy Holidays!

Susan says 5th December @ 15:24

(((((((Hugs Patty))))))))

We loves ya whatever the tribulations may be.

fatnomo says 5th December @ 18:56

Sista, sista, I am sorry to hear you are battling body wars internally. I just spent 20 minutes bitching on my blog about my less than stellar outside world. They are for the most part things I can control but opt not to. Coming here was an eye opener. I hope all goes well on the 9th, and I’ll keep you in my prayers. I’ll be back to check on ya.

suzeeeq says 5th December @ 20:25

I’m so sorry you’re going through all this – and all at once! I mean, we all get sick from time to time, but you’re getting WAY more than your fair share. Take care of yourself and we’ll all be hoping tomorrow is better for you.

brseay says 6th December @ 20:31

We’re here for the nitty-gritty details so don’t feel like you have to stay away. I was so hoping the prolapsed uterus could be the solution for everything–sorry it doesn’t sound like the answer.

I know you’re joking, but have you considered the fact that you might be depressed? I know, the counselor is coming out, but you have been dealing w/a lot in the few years I have known you and you could honestly be depressed. Even if you aren’t clinically depressed so much rests on your shoulders that having someone to unload on is something to consider. I saw a therapist for about 6 months after Kyle was diagnosed and I can’t imagine where I’d be without him. Having that time every week to completely devote to myself was essential.

Until then we’re here for you but please think about it, ok?

Joy says 7th December @ 7:17

First off
Second I am so sorry that you are so ill and are feeling so bad.
Third, don’t worry one little bit about what details you give. Lets hope your BUTT doctor is wrong and that when you have the operation to remove some stuff that it takes care of the rest as well. Even if he is not wrong maybe the pro/uterus is making it much worse??
I am glad you posted and are back.

beerab says 7th December @ 18:43

I’m glad you are “okay” I was getting worried about you. Just do what you can to take care of yourself girl! Don’t worry too much about the weight- maybe substituting some shakes for meals each day will help you from gaining too much?

Take care! Vent to us it’s okay!

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