Crappy Crud

I have full blown crappy crud.  I think I held it off until the weekend was in sight and then succumbed.  My throat hurts, I’m coughing, I’m stopped up and yet my nose is running non-stop (sniff), my back hurts, my arms hurt, even my hair hurts.  I came home yesterday and crashed with cold medicine.  Slept from 8:00 yesterday evening to 7:00 this morning.  Today, it’s even worse.  Crap.

I need to get the shopping done for Thanksgiving dinner and I’ve been sitting here thinking about it for two or three hours but I don’t think that’s going to get it done.  Finally took my shower and I’m heading out.  My hair looks like Hell, I don’t have any makeup on, and I’m talking through my nose.  What do you want to bet I’m going to run into someone I know?

1:15 – Home again.  I wore jeans, Susan, because I don’t have the strength to keep tugging my panties up.  I went by GFS and picked up frozen yeast rolls for Thanksgiving dinner.  We got them last year and they were fabulous.  All you have to do is let the balls of dough thaw for 45 minutes, put them in a warm place and let them rise for another 45 minutes and bake.  Although I can do it, I’m not much on making homemade yeast breads.  Too much work.  I keep kicking around the idea of ordering Thanksgiving dinner at Winn Dixie (Sorry, Ashleigh, they don’t have Krogers in Florida) so I don’t have to deal with so much cooking but the problem is that their idea of Thanksgiving dinner and my idea of Thankgiving dinner aren’t even close.  I went by Kroger and picked up a few more things and then managed to drag my sorry butt into the door of Dressbarn and pick up a jacket I’ve been looking at.  Only a truly strong woman can go shopping in my condition.  I tried on a jacket a couple of weeks ago when I was out with DIL and really liked it.  The price was good, the fit was good, and DIL loved it.  I put it back because we were going to Edinburgh last weekend.  Ever since, I’ve been telling myself, “I should have bought that jacket.  Why didn’t I?”  Add DIL who keeps telling me, “You need to go back and get that jacket.  It looks great on you.” to the mix and it’s been nagging me like crazy.  There!  Now I have the jacket.  Happy??  Oh, yeah…I managed to try on a few tops, too and got a nice one to go with the jacket.  uhhhh…earrings, too.  Sometimes I even inspire myself…

Here’s the upcoming Thanksgiving scenario:

Tuesday will be a pain at work.  It’s always a pain when we’re preparing for a few days off.  Lots to do.  I’ll be run ragged and then head out the door as quick as I can to run home, throw some last minute stuff in the RV, and hit the road (hopefully) by 4:00.  An hour’s drive will bring us to Mom’s place where we’ll pick her up and prop her up on the couch with a good book.  Around 6:00, we’ll break out the homemade chicken salad, some chips, and my homemade potato salad and eat dinner while driving.  Poor Mom, she can’t really travel anymore and this trip is like her vacation for the year.  Kind of sad but she’s been looking forward to it since last summer and I want to do everything I can to make it a good trip for her.  She loves my potato salad and said she’s been dreaming of my chicken salad so I’ve gotta make sure we have plenty on hand.  We’ll drive until around 10:00 and then pull over to Wally World (Walmart) for the night.  Next morning, we’ll hit the road again and have breakfast at Bojangles Chicken because we stopped last year and Mom went bonkers over their chicken.  We don’t have them in Kentucky anymore and she’s been fantasizing about it since last Thanksgiving.  We pulled over for breakfast last year because DH likes their sausage biscuits but Mom tried the chicken and hasn’t forgotten it.  I suspect the food just tastes so much better to her because it’s not the same old, same old and she doesn’t have to fix it.  For whatever reason, she’s looking forward to it so it’s going to happen.  She struggled with weight issues all her life and now, at 84, she weighs 119 and eats whatever she wants.  Is that fair?  I mean, at 84, she could care less.  She also loves a really nice bookstore we found at an outlet that has recycled library books for no more that $1.99 each.  They’re really current books by bestselling authors and all the proceeds go to charity.  What happens is that libraries order a bunch of hard cover books that are current and then, after the initial six month demand, they give most of them to this place and you can pick them up cheap.  Mom will have a glorious time picking out stacks of books for the upcoming winter.  Last time, she bought 30 books.  I’ll pick up some, too, but I never seem to get time to read them and don’t know what I did with the ones I bought last year.  Probably left them down at the cabin.  While Mom and I are shopping for books, DH will take the RV to the nearest grocery store and pick up everything I have on the grocery list.  Another 30 minutes or so and we’ll be at our place in Madison.

We should be getting to Madison around 2:00 in the afternoon and it’s probably a mess.  I haven’t been down since last April and the grass is probably over my head.  I’ll jump out of the RV and onto the riding mower and run a few quick laps around the area of the cabin and the RV area so it won’t be a jungle.  The rest of the afternoon will be spent getting the cabin up and running and cleaned up (I imagine it’s pretty dusty and has a few gecko skeletons lying around.)  DH and I will move into the cabin (the Pattyshack).  Grandkids, 17 year old twins Andrew and Steven, and Mom will take over the RV, and DS (who’s talking about driving down with his current girlfriend) will have the old RV which we leave parked in Florida.  The twins and I will head down the path from the cabin to the clawfoot tub and shower deck and put up a screenhouse around it.  The daggone thing is so big it takes 8 shower curtains to enclose it but it’s not like it’s just DH and I so we’d better get it covered so Mom or DS won’t be shocked to find me lounging around naked in the clawfoot tub out in the open.   While we’re setting up the screenhouse around the tub, DH will be destroying any semblance of peace and quiet by calling the dish people to reactivate the satellite and pick up seven or eight hundred TV stations.

The plan was to build two little cabins on our property for guests and a small retirement home for DH and I.  When I’m old(er), I don’t want to have to work my butt off cleaning house.  I want a very small, very nice little place that won’t eat me alive.  Having decided that, we wondered what we would do with guests when they came to visit and figured we’d build two little guest cabins for visitors.  The idea being that we’d say, “Oh my gosh!  We’ve missed you so much!  Give me a hug and then take all your crap up to the cabin in the north forty and don’t come back till dinner time.  Oh…and be sure to clean the cabin before you leave.”  In theory, it sounded pretty good.  We bought ten acres and figured that would give us plenty of room and plenty of privacy.  Six months after we bought the place, they changed the zoning in our little rural area and said you couldn’t have more than one dwelling for every ten acres.  Since we hadn’t started any construction yet, we couldn’t be grandfathered in.  We could have sold the place but it’s perfect and we truly love it.  So…we decided to build a very nice “barn” and a super nice “garage”.  We built a large, two-story “barn” with electricity (for tools, of course), two bathrooms (for washing the gunk off in case we step in any cow doo doo) and an upstairs door leading to the balcony so the cows could enjoy the sunset.  Not exactly what we had in mind but then, we won’t be the ones staying in it. 😉

We’ve pretty much finished the upstairs in the “barn”.  It’s all been drywalled, two ceiling fans, lots of windows, air conditioned, and a half bath.  The downstairs still isn’t finished.  We have to insulate (in case the cows get cold), drywall, put in a ceramic tile floor (makes it easier to muck the stalls), plumb the kitchen, and put in the shower stall and bathroom fixtures.  (You might have to pee while you’re taking care of the cows.)

That’s where we are.  We were really gung-ho in the beginning.  Cleared about six acres and made paths through the woods.  Poured a foundation and built the barn.  Finished the upstairs, moved a full size stove and refrigerator into the downstairs, put a king size four poster bed upstairs, and now we’re stalled.  We went to Hawaii for a month in 2007, and then took the RV trip for a month in 2008, and we haven’t been working on the place like we should for the last couple of years.  It’s just primitive enough to be totally quiet, isolated, and serene and keep everyone from wanting to “borrow” it, and just civilized enough to be able to have all the major comforts.  I can walk through the woods and stare at a billion stars without a streetlight in sight.  The dark is dark and the silence is punctuated only by the sound of the crickets and birds.  At some point, we’re going to have to bite the bullet, finish the barn, and have our retirement home built.

Thursday, of course, will be cooking and mowing grass.  I’ll put a turkey in the roaster, and then try to get the meadow mowed and bulldoze my way through my path in the woods because I’m sure it’s overgrown with vicious thorns and fallen trees or limbs.  Dinner will be a monumental pain as I try to cook in the tiny kitchen in the RV or the big kitchen in the cabin which doesn’t have kitchen counters or sinks yet.  I turned out a pretty good spread last year and we dined on the picnic table on the porch of the cabin.  I have all the pots and pans and dishes that I need for a nice dinner but I don’t have a kitchen table.  Fun, fun, fun!  It’ll be worth it though.  Mom and I will walk through my freshly cleared path in the woods after dinner and the dishes will be turned over to the men.  I’ll relax in the clawfoot tub with the tankless water heater that never runs out of hot water and let the water run over the sides and down onto the grass and flower beds.  Finally, I’ll take the path back to the cabin, walk up the stairs and curl up in bed with the windows open and a brand new book to keep me occupied.  sigh…


Joy says 22nd November @ 13:10

I hope that you feel better soon. get some rest, drink a ton of hot tea and make them all wait on you hand and foot.
Take care

susan says 22nd November @ 13:43

I just hope your undies don’t fall down in the Canned Goods isle…

Sending healing vibs your way!

inkheartmeg says 22nd November @ 14:42

Wow sorry to hear about the crappy crud. Glad you got some sleep last night, try to get more sleep today and drink lots of fluids! Wishing you a fast recovery.


susan says 22nd November @ 19:38

Thanks for the epic post!

How sweet about your Mom!

My Mom was always so appreciative of everything and never a pain ~ happy with a good book, she was. I would give anything to hug her and tell her how much I love and miss her just one more time. My marvelous Mom has been gone for the past nine years.

You are a woman with a plan. Go for it, Patty. Love the name “Pattyshack”. Your after dinner plans with your Mom & later, the claw-foot tub sound delightful…

brseay says 22nd November @ 21:28

All I can say is “Moo”. See, I’m pretending to be a cow so I can stay in the “barn”. I’ll even muck my own stall.

I hope the chaos of the early part of the week is minimal so you can enjoy your little piece of paradise. Spending that wonderful time w/your mom will be fantastic and the book store sounds like a wonderful place to spend days and days.

I hope you’re feeling better soon and I hope you’re feeling better about yourself, too. You seem to be a little down lately and I can understand that b/c you have such high expectations for yourself. I’m like that, too. But sometimes those of us who have high expectations can be brutal to ourselves at any perceived imperfection. The holidays are hell on diets and in all honesty, if we get through them w/o gaining weight we should consider it a success. Life is meant to be enjoyed, and that means I’m going to down several of my grandma’s peanut clusters. And just so you know, several probably means 15 🙂

You are such an inspiration to me and so many others on this site. We’ll be here for each other to prop each other up.

PS–here’s another way we’re living parallel lives. Last Sunday my pants and undies fell down in the Target parking lot. Thank God it was cold enough that I had my winter coat on or the entire town would have seen my “full moon”.

anngirl says 22nd November @ 23:27

Wow – your housing endeavor sounds AWESOME! Beautiful 🙂 I’m hoping that you feel better way way better before the big cooking day 🙂

round says 23rd November @ 4:36

Wow, what great plans for Thanksgiving – and it sounds like you really are grateful for what you have! The cabin sound WONDERFUL – I was there with you as you were describing it. It also sounds kind of similar living to my DH’s place in the South of France – recently redone but it’s really rural and only accessible by a 4×4 so that keeps people at bay…

Hope you’re feeling better soon.

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