It’s been awhile since I have posted so I decided to just start fresh with my blog.  A lot has happened since November when I last posted.  Things that have really made me think about my weight and why I can’t continue to lose/gain year after year.  In December we took a trip to Disneyland and while I had no problem fitting into any of the rides at the theme parks we went to, I still realized how much better the trip would have been if I was at a healthier weight.  I didn’t want to be included in any pictures, and the pictures that I had no control over, (ie: the ones taken during the rides), I was horrified by.  I know I am very overweight but seeing myself in those pictures really hit home how much I have let myself go!
My work schedule is changing once again as I am moving to the evening shift.  I don’t really want to switch from nights, but it’s for the best for now.  I won’t go into the boring details, but basically it boiled down to accepting the evening position or going back to being on call which I hated.  I am hopeful that a night line will open up again in the near future, but until then I am trying think positively about the switch.
I am trying to change my thinking regarding losing weight as I have realized that if I don’t change my thoughts I will never be successful.  The biggest struggle for me is feeling like I have failed the minute I cheat or faulter from my plan.  I need to keep reminding myself that if I slip up it’s imperative that I don’t wallow in guilt, that I don’t punish myself by skipping meals or by overexercising.  I simply have to get right back at it!
For Christmas I bought myself the book, Burn the Fat, Feed the Muscle, by Tom Venuto.  I haven’t read that much of the book, but from what I have I am impressed.  I have three night shifts left so I will read some more during my breaks.