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What a few weeks it has been!  Lots of worrying and stress!  We are having such a hard time with our teenage boy right now and that is all I have been focused on.  My work stess has gotten a lot better.  I love my co-workers and now that I am used to working the evening shift again I feel much better.  I have learned that I can’t be perfect but as long as I am being safe and doing the best that I can, that’s all I can expect from myself.  As much as I loved the night shift I didn’t truly realize just how sleep deprived I was!  Now that I am sleeping through the night I feel so much better.  I am getting so much more done on my days off.  Now, I just have to work on improving things with my son.  It’s breaking my heart 🙁
On the diet and exercise front I haven’t been on track at all.  I haven’t been working out at all, and the only exercise I get is during my shifts at work, where I walk a lot.  I have been packing healthy dinners and snacks but I haven’t been as good on my days off.  It’s time to get back on track.  The stresses are still going to be there whether I workout and eat right or not, so I might as well be taking care of myself.  I am re-starting the exercise rotation that I made up tomorrow.


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Well, once again I let stress derail me from my plan.  Both family and work issues caused me to feel overwhelmed.  I didn’t turn to food this time, so I am pleased about that.  Instead, I slept more which isn’t great, but I’d rather sleep more than turn to food.  I haven’t exercised in the last 3 days, but I did workout 5 days last week.  I miss the way I feel when I exercise so I intend to get right back at it tomorrow.  I won’t go into the details regarding my family stress – just typical dealing with teenagers stuff, but since I’m not at home as much anymore it really affected me.  My work stress is something that I am sure will get better.  I just need to get used to working the evening shift again.  I try to be perfect and sometimes I just don’t have the time to do everything that I feel I should be doing and then I feel overwhelmed and stressed.  I have to learn to accept that I can’t be perfect and just do the best that I can.

Jan 12

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I had a good shift yesterday and the man that was abusive the evening before was fine last night so that was good.  I have only done 1 rotation on the evening shift, but I still think I prefer the night shift.  It’s hard on the body but easier mentally.  Hopefully, a night position will come up soon, but in the meantime I am just happy to have a full-time position because I hated being on call.
I have today off so I am going to do a longer workout.  I am planning on using CF’s Turbo Barre dvd and also her XTrain Burn Sets – chest, shoulders, and back.
I am hoping for a good weigh-in tomorrow, but even if I haven’t lost a pound, I know that I am exercising, eating healthy foods, and overall just taking better care of myself.

Rough evening

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I had a rough night at work yesterday, basically I was verbally abused and the patient attempted to physically abuse me as well.  I never felt in danger, but it was still upsetting.  Of course along with many other nasty words, he called me FAT.  I was more embarrassed than upset because I was with a new co-worker, and of course he was yelling so loudly everyone else on the floor could hear as well.  Definitely not looking forward to having to deal with him again tonight.
Anyway, I had a great workout yesterday, and today I can feel it in my leg muscles.  As soon as I log off from here I am going to start my workout.  I was scheduled to do a Turbo Bar dvd but my legs are too sore for that, so instead I am going to do a step workout and do the Turbo Bar tomorrow.

01/11/14 – Saturday
Calories burned:
3058 – includes TDEE
Calories allowed for the day: 1835
Calories consumed: 1478
Caloric deficit: 1580 – (3058 – 1478)
Exercise: Cathe Friedrich’s Low Impact Step Challenge – premix #5 = 42 mins.

Jan 10/14

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I love this!  I printed it out and put it in my kitchen.  Sometimes, just having a visual
reminder will make me stop and think before I eat something that I really shouldn’t.

I went to work last night and boy was it busy!  My FitBit registered I took around 14,500 steps! My feet are hurting this morning which sucks because I know my plantar fasciitis is acting up again.  I have a foot massager that helps a bit, but it’s still pretty tender.   Last year I had the PF in my left foot and that is completely gone but it’s in my right foot now.

Yesterday, I did a step workout called Party Rockin’ Step by Cathe Friedrich and it was so much fun.  I picked up the choreography pretty quickly so that was nice as I hate having to rewind over and over trying to get the moves.  It wasn’t as intense as some of Cathe’s other step workouts, which was good as I am definitely not ready for the advanced workouts yet. My heart rate was up, and I was sweating, so I was happy.  Today, I am using her Flex Train dvd. I am excited to try it as it seems to be a favourite over on Cathe’s forum.  I have to work this evening so I know I will get in lots of steps again tonight.  I am going to pack a big salad for dinner and a Greek yogurt for a snack.  I still don’t feel 100% yet but I am not going to let that stop me!

01/10/14 – Friday
Calories allowed for the day: 1835
Actual calories consumed: 1354
Calories Burned2827 -(This includes my TDEE)
Calories deficit: 1473
Exercise: Cathe Friedrich’s XTrain = 57 mins.

Not feeling great

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I don’t feel sick but I still feel like I am fighting some type of “bug”.  I ended up phoning in sick to work yesterday, and while I still don’t feel 100% I will go in tonight.  Maybe I am just run-down as December was such a busy month, but I think it’s more than that.  I ended up not working out yesterday and while I don’t feel like exercising today either, I am going to at least start and then see if I have the energy to continue.  I hope I am feeling better soon as I hate not having any energy!  I slept a good 9 hours last night and yet I feel like I could sleep another 8 🙁

01/09/14 – Thursday
Calories for the day:
Actual calories consumed: 1742
Calories over/under: under by 93
Exercise: Cathe Friedrich’s Party Rockin Step 2 = 53 mins.

Praise for Burn The Fat Feed The Muscle

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When I first started reading the book I was impressed, but as I keep reading, I am really impressed!  Not to sound like an infomercial but Tom Venuto truly covers everything in regards to losing weight and building muscle.  He writes about understanding calories and balancing macronutrients, good and bad fats, protein, carbohydrates, hydration, nutrient timing, cardio training, weight training, plateaus, goal setting and so much more.  I know many other books cover the same things and believe me I have read many, but something just clicked while reading this book.  It all makes sense and I truly feel that if I follow the guidelines I will achieve success.  Tom doesn’t sugar coat things, so I know it’s going to be hard work, but I am ready!  There is so much more I could say, but I know results speak louder than words.


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I did my first workout in a long time and boy can I feel it today.  I did a cardio boxing/kickboxing dvd so my arms are especially sore.  I can also tell that I worked my core well too.  I am usually not a huge fan of boxing style workouts but this one was fun and the time seemed to go by quickly.

I am still reading Burn The Fat, Feed The Muscle, and am enjoying it.  One thing that is going to be hard for me to trust is that I need to eat more calories.  Whenever, I decide to get back on track I usually try to keep my calories around 1200 – 1500, but according to the book that is too low for a person of my size, especially if I follow through and complete the planned 6 days a week of intense exercise.  I figured out using the formula in the book what my daily caloric needs are and while it’s higher than what I normally would set, I am going to follow it and adjust if I don’t get the results that I want.
Today, I am going to use my Stairmaster for cardio and then lift weights for my bi’s and tri’s. I’ll have to start out slowly as I don’t want to be too sore tomorrow.
I am going shopping to stock up on healthy foods that I can take to work for dinner as I am starting my new evening shift tomorrow.

01/07/14 – Tuesday
Calorie goal:1835
Actual calories: 1723
Calories over/under: under 112
Exercise: Stairmaster (30) + Cathe Friedrich’s Burn Sets – Bi’s & Tri’s (37) = 67 mins.


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It’s been awhile since I have posted so I decided to just start fresh with my blog.  A lot has happened since November when I last posted.  Things that have really made me think about my weight and why I can’t continue to lose/gain year after year.  In December we took a trip to Disneyland and while I had no problem fitting into any of the rides at the theme parks we went to, I still realized how much better the trip would have been if I was at a healthier weight.  I didn’t want to be included in any pictures, and the pictures that I had no control over, (ie: the ones taken during the rides), I was horrified by.  I know I am very overweight but seeing myself in those pictures really hit home how much I have let myself go!
My work schedule is changing once again as I am moving to the evening shift.  I don’t really want to switch from nights, but it’s for the best for now.  I won’t go into the boring details, but basically it boiled down to accepting the evening position or going back to being on call which I hated.  I am hopeful that a night line will open up again in the near future, but until then I am trying think positively about the switch.
I am trying to change my thinking regarding losing weight as I have realized that if I don’t change my thoughts I will never be successful.  The biggest struggle for me is feeling like I have failed the minute I cheat or faulter from my plan.  I need to keep reminding myself that if I slip up it’s imperative that I don’t wallow in guilt, that I don’t punish myself by skipping meals or by overexercising.  I simply have to get right back at it!
For Christmas I bought myself the book, Burn the Fat, Feed the Muscle, by Tom Venuto.  I haven’t read that much of the book, but from what I have I am impressed.  I have three night shifts left so I will read some more during my breaks.

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