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What’s my deal August 18, 2010

Filed under: ~The bad days~ — debi @ 7:24 am

I’m trying to figure out why I don’t have the motivation. .

I know what I want and I know what I have to do but I just can’t do it and I’m always finding reasons not too. . I USED to do this stuff all the time. I had it down pat!! I lost 25 lbs doing it and I was just on a roll why is this so hard for me? I think it’s because my schedule has been totally totally messed up. Not only with my husband not being around that affects my children and the schedule at the gym. Being a single mom of two when I get off work I don’t want to take my kids to a day care and not see them for another hour and a half and also I don’t want to drive all the way out there and it’s just I dunno.!!! I do everything a lone and by myselff with my kids I feel like this is another chore. I don’t WANT to do it. I know I NEED to and i HAVE to if I want to achieve my goals .. But where is the medium????

With that said I think I’m going to try another approach. If I can’t make my ass go to the gym then I will bring the gym to my ass lol.. pardon my language… even if it’s taking the girls on a walk or to the park or just going out side and doing something and going to the gym every now and then slowly so I don’t feel the pressure and feel like I must go or else I’m a fat cow… I dunno if that makes sense to anyone else but boy that felt good to get it out. . . . It felt good to just say it… like I know I’m doing this and this wrong and this is why. I can’t lie this is really why and I hate it too. So that feels good.. I guess lol..

So I decided I’m only going to weigh myself once a week. I used to weigh myself every other day and that just killed me and played mind games on me.

Well anyways. This morning I have a diet coke with a 90 calorie breakfast bar. So we’re off to a good start. Then later on I think I’m going to have ramen noodles for lunch … go get the girls go for a walk and have some white rice for dinner. Here I go AGAIN


2 Responses to “What’s my deal”

  1. garnetrising Says:

    Hey there, Debra. It’s great when you reach those points and suddenly find yourself with insight into what your doing and why. I know it can be hard. Every time I stop working out, I hate on myself for it. Mostly because I love the feeling I have when I’m working out and I know that I’m lying to myself when I say I don’t. XD It can be frustrating to know why your undermining yourself and still having to struggle not to, but I know you can do it. Identifying that you have a problem, knowing why it’s a problem — that’s the first step to being able to fix the problem.

  2. debi Says:

    Thank you , your totally right. I was thinking about that after I wrote it like.. Well hey at least I understand and know why. Granted it’s not a fabulous acknowledgement but it’s one none the less lol

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