Just an update.

Hi Chicks! 🙂

So far things are going well in Calgary. I managed to get a “grown up” job (7:30am – 6:00pm) that makes me wear a suit everyday and “be professional.” I even have my own desk. Neat, huh? lol Boyfriend also managed to get a job. 🙂 So we’re doing well. We aren’t comfortable yet but I’ve managed to pay off a credit card and cancel it. So, only 1 more card to go then I can really start relaxing a little better.

Ummm I also discovered Ikea. AMAZING. I want to LIVE in that store. hahah I bought a few things for the apartment and it’s really starting to come together. I have to say that I’m impressed.

Classes have started for me and I switched programs to Human Resource Management which is exciting. 🙂

Currently I’m in Red Deer for training which is an 1.5 hours away from Calgary (my new home). My diet hasnt been the best but I’m losing weight due to the sheer fact I can’t afford to eat out. I have been drinking quite a bit and also eating a lot of food cooked in oils and margerine because I’m still learning to cook well. I’m getting on track though.

Well, We got word today that Mom isn’t going to recover much more mentally. She can’t speak, doesn’t understand and is blissfully unaware of her state – she just is. I hate the term but she is similar to a “Vegitative state.” Dad has gotten our family’s lawyer to switch over his will, mom’s will, power of attourney and listed my father as sole care giver. This is such a blow to me. It’s so hard being away from all this confusion and termoil. Unfortunately this means my mother can never return home because we simply do not have the ability to care for her. It will be 18 months before there is another opening in a continuing care facility. I’m crushed. Dad keeps telling me not to give up hope but it’s hard.

 

I’m going out to supper with my training group and I’ll make better choices tonight. 🙂 I just need to refocus and start getting into a stable routine.

I’m up every morning between 5:00-5:30am and I’m out the door at 6:30am because I have an hour commute on transit to work and I don’t get home until 7pm. So I’m wondering how to get my exercise in throughout my day. I really can’t get up any earlier because I’m going to bed around 11pm because of my school work/social life. Does anyone have any ideas or tips or anything? Would working out Friday, Saturday and Sunday be effective? I don’t really know…haha

Anyway Chicks, I must be off. Time for supper and a little dip in the hotel pool. 🙂

Arrived in Calgary in one piece. :)

Alrighty, long time no blog.

But, I’ve arrived in Calgary in one piece and I’ve pretty much the apartment all set up. Sweet deals.

I’ve been interviewing for my first “Corporate” job and I’ve made it to the 3rd and final “round” of interviews. It’s a 7:30am-6pm office job. I’m a little horrified mind you starting salary, clothing allowence, and full benefits is awesome. Then I can do my schooling in the evening for my PR certificate. Wooohooo!

It’s all coming together. Mind you, I’ve been eating right but I haven’t exactly lost anything. I’ve been walking alot because I don’t have a car or gps. hahaha Can’t have one without the other here.

Things between Adam and I are going well. We haven’t had any huge blow out fights so thats a positive. He is a bit of a creep though. He likes to check on every webpage I’ve been on and thinks hes secretly reading my chat logs – even though I’ve caught him a few times hahaha. God love him. 🙂

I’ve made some friends and all that good stuff. My social life has been good. Plenty of east coasters are living out here so it’s nice.  I’ll get some apartment photos uploaded as soon as I figure out how too. hahaha

Anyway chicks. Have a great day. 🙂

HOLY CRAPPPP!

WELL, let me just begin by apologising for my absence..I’M SORRY! 🙁

Here is what is going on.

I wasn’t suppose to move until Mid-August, however; the most perfect apartment in the whole entire world came out of no where…and by some stroke of luck I got it. *HURRAY!* and then following that I mananged to book a flight on a seat-sale….so I’m leaving July 7th. WTF?! I dont even have a JOB!

Regardless, I’m in the ikea website picking out my furniture and just going for the most attractive, yet cheapest thing I can find. Holy Snickerdoooodles!

It’s happening so fast. Needless to say I’ve stress eatin myself into oblivion. I’ve gained 4 out of 5lbs back. UGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH. So, I’m packing myself frozen meals on the road so that I can atleast have portion control and when it’s gone – it’s gone. I’ve also been eating a lot more salad the past couple of days in hopes of weening myself off of my recent pasta addiction.

Whoa…I feel like I need a nap. lol So much to take in, in so little time!

It WAS sunny out.

Yesterday was great! I got up really early, tossed on my old-faithful tankini and plopped myself on my deck and read some of my book “The Skinny” to help re-motivate me and get some tips. It worked! I’m feeling better about things and I’m already finding myself leaning towards more fruits and veggies. In fact, I even took the long way home from school today to not have to encounter McDonalds.

Although, as lovely as yesterday was, the sunburn I managed to get wasn’t quite as nice. I look like a lobster! lol It felt nice to be out in the sun though. Today, the weather isn’t as nice. I was driving to school today and the sun was out and it was windy, then the closer I became to the university I noticed a freakishly dark wall of clouds creeping over head. It was like driving into a tunnel. The winds and rain..ugh, It’s awful out now. Oh well..Can’t win them all.

Food wise, yesterday wasn’t a complete failure but it also wasn’t awesome. Lunch I had some Spinach & chicken soup with a spinach side salad with a sesame vinagrette. It was satisfying. I snuck myself a glass of sugar free koolaid as well…that stuff is delicious! lol

Supper however, wasn’t so good. Boyfriend cooked me an awesome meal of chicken alfredo Penne with garlic toast. My weaknesses. It was SO good..I only had ONE helping of pasta, but it was definitely a large one and I had 2 slices of REALLY thick garlic bread. Oh man…I felt so guilty and rotten eating it. Not really what was listed on my cleanse. Dang. 🙁

Speaking of my cleanse, it’s going really well aside from the penne problem. Its pretty much a diet plan and a handful of pills you whap into your mouth every hours. I havent noticed any bowel movements or anything…I might try more water even though I’m drinking 3 liters a day. I feel like a friggen camel.

Today, I will eat the last of my spinch & chicken soup, and the last of the spinach salad and do some school work and head into work tonight just for a 5 hour shift. Nothing serious. 🙂

Hopefully everyone is enjoying their day! 🙂

Antibiotics are Finished…

Bring on the probiotic cleanse to help the flora in my intestines! I’m such an old woman…lol

I bought the less aggressive one due to the advice of my doctor…Should be entertaining. haha

This weekend was an epic fail food wise and exercise wise! I’ll post more tomorrow and hopefully someone will lecture me! lol I NEED it and a good slap on the wrist. Ugh.

Night chicks! See you bright and early 🙂

weeee :)

Hellllo chicks and Happy Hump day! (or happy no-hump day as LindaT calls it.hehe)

This weekend was fairly tame. I went to visit Mom and came back home and cooked and baked alllll weekend. I also took care of a VERY sick boyfriend – which was really cute in its own little way. 🙂

Over the weekend I roasted a chicken and made some broth from the leftovers and tossed the dark meat into the broth with a bunch of veg and beans to make some Spicy Spinach & chicken soup. It’s VERY tasty. To compliment that I made some cornbread. I’ve never made it before but it turned out quite well. It’s heavy though and I wasnt expecting that.  It’s still amazingly delicious with the soup. I modified the recipe so that it wouldn’t be high fat/sugar. 🙂 So I don’t feel SO guilty but it’s definitely something to becareful with.

Yesterday I kind of had one heck of a cheat day. I went to the grocery store and did very well and bought only healthy food until I came upon the steak….OHHH the steak. *Drools* I bought a crappy cut and hoped no one would notice my nice cart full of organic foods..and an awkwardly packaged piece of steak smack in the middle. lol Needless to say, I merinaded it but I made the merinade so it was all oil and heavy things. I did make a nice spinach and strawberry salad to go with it and some broiled sweet potato chunks….but the steak was definitely not good. Then I busted into the chocolate truffles. So, all in all yesterday was a write off. lol ( I hate to say it, but I loved every minute of it…:P )

I went for a walk this morning and got distracted by the cruise ship in the harbour so I hopped off of my treadmill and grabbed some iced chai tea and plopped myself in the arm chair on my patio and watched the boats go up and down the harbour. It was a PERFECT idea and just what I needed to recharge my batteries after this weekend.

So, tonight I’m going to do my school work, clean up the house and actually exercise. I know I’m just as shocked as everyone else is.

I hope everyone enjoys their day. Have a great day, chicks!

Whoa!!!

So I FINALLY understand what everyone was talking about with that pain! HOLY CRAP!

I passed 2 stones yesterday afternoon and they felt like 9lb babies (or what I imagined a 9lb baby would feel like).

Oh man, all chipperness went down the crapper and fetal position and screaming bloody murder began. They can out eventually and then I slept for about 15 hours. Best sleep I’ve had in a month. lol

Anyways, I sent my father out to purchase me a flush so I could clear out my bowels and intestines to see if I could clear myself out and lose some of this bloat. This way, when I go in for follow ups they can X-ray me and see if there are any more stones without worrying about my being plugged up (and embarrassed).

So, after I finish my antibiotics I’ll start a probiotic flush that will help my intestinal flora and keep feeling fresh as a less-poopy daisy. hahaha 🙂

So My positivity is back!!! 🙂 Dear boyfriend and I had an amazing chat. I was finally able to let my hositility and guard down and just cry in front of him to show how much I really was hurting. He took me making the effort as a sign that it was time for both of us to work together. We talked for about 3 hours about everything and I think it really helped us bond. We used non-accusitory language and focused on using “I-statements” (ex: Something I feel like you don’t really listen and it makes me feel sad) My communication & psychology degree FINALLY came in handy. hahaha Good use of 4 years. 😛

What we decided was that I would go to Calgary alone for a week a two to settle in and get things the way I NEED them so that I can relax and he can come out when he is able too and he’ll be able to relax as well. 🙂 So 1-2 weeks alone will help us get the space we both need without actually having the resentment of being angry and away from each other. 🙂 It was a mutual agreement! YAY! I did good! hahaha

I haven’t eaten much the past couple of days because of the pain, and I still don’t have my appeitite back so I’m just going eat light but healthy.

Tomorrow, exercise resumes. 🙂

Have a great day, Chicks! 🙂

Just the kick in the ass that I needed…:)

Ok, so I think I’ve stopped taking good care of myself. I wound up in the hospital last night after driving 5 hours with the worst pain I’ve ever felt in my life. They admitted immediately which was scary because you usually you have a atleast a 2 hour wait before you see a doctor. I was whisked up to X-ray and told to pee in about 4 cups. Ummm….Can someone tell me whats going on? lol SO, then I finally get sat down with a doctor and told you have kidney stones on the move and your gallbladder is kicking your ass. LOVELY.

So, I’ve turned down anytype of surgury for the kidney stones and also refused to have my gallbladder removed. I’ve decided I need to take better care of myself and stop eating foods high in fats and processed food as well. I’m on a high dose of antibiotics because of an elevated white blood cell count in my urine, meaning I have a bladder infection and I’m so constipated they gave me a flush to.

I hate to say it, but I’m really happy I’ve been given this information. Now it’s “REAL” and I have to take action and control over my eating. 🙂 I think it’s a blessing in disguise so I’m running with this information and I made an appointment with a dietician and a councelor. The ball is in motion and I’m on the mend. Rounding the bend and I’m going to make up for my lack of effort on the straight away!

For supper, I cleaned out and fixed up a chicken. I stuffed it with onion and ginger plus a lil southern comfort for a kick. 🙂 Hopefully I can use the carcus to make some chicken soup! YUM! haha I’ve decided to eliminate pork and beef from my diet..It might help.

I feel strangely optimistic for someone who is on antibiotics and over the counter pain meds. lol Yeehaw!

Happy Tuesday, Chicks! 🙂 Have a great day.

:)

Today was good and bad food wise. I think I wore myself out with the partying on Friday and the stress of everything else and wound up with a heck of a cold. Sore throat, runny nose, chills, you name it – I got it. Go figure. lol My sister has a bad cold so I think I might have caught it from her. It’s just easier to blame her anyways. hahaa I’m awful, I know. 😛

My father, sister and I spent lunch at my Uncle’s house and everyone seems to be very shaken up over my mother’s accident. I’ve been getting the constant head pats, and the whole “how are YOU doing…” conversations. It’s difficult because I don’t want to keep reliving things, I want to move on so that I am able to focus my energy to positive things. It was suppose to be my 25th birthday party there but I think everyone was preoccupied so most people let things slip their mind. I was anticipating it though so I wasn’t completely upset.

We brought some photos of my sister and I and a family portrait to my mother’s room last night and taped them to the sides of her bed. When we walked in this morning you could see her eyeing the photo, then eyeing us, then eyeing the photos and us again. She is starting to make connections. Also, shes getting better dexderity and can finally scratch an itch she had under her halo’s vest. So, she is certainly responsive. 🙂 It was a deliberate scratch too! hahaha She was very itchy. lol

I don’t know how much longer Dear Boyfriend and I are going to make it work. I love him so much but it seems as though all sacrifice and concern are one sided and only coming from me. No matter how much you love someone if you’re not their equal then it isn’t a fair investment I suppose…Time will tell. He just seems so “meh” over everything with my Mom. It’s like he doesn’t realize how much I’m hurting…and he just doesn’t care enough to ask. Maybe he just doesn’t know how to address it…I dunno, I’m out of excuses for him.

On the bright side, food was good today. 🙂 I woke up this morning and had a big helping of some fresh mixed fruit. I put some grapefruit, orange, grapes, black berries, watermelon, and blue berries in a big container and told the family to dig in. It was ddeeeelicious. My uncle made some french toast but, my throat is too sore to eat anything like that. So I’ve been surviving on fruit, orange juice, and low fat cheese. Not a complete bust but definitely getting high on my caloric intake…and shopping is not cardio dispite popular belief. lol

OH!!! I’m also down a size! I tried on a pair of 36″ waist regular fit Silver jeans and they were quite large. I went down to the 34″ they have some room so I tried the 33″ but they were a little TOO snug for comfort..there wasn’t a dimple or crevice that was hidden LOL. So I’m in a 34″ and almost a 33″ jean! 🙂 I’m quite proud of myself.  My goal is a 30″ but that is still a LONG ways off but I’m still really proud of myself.

Needless to say, I’m in a better mood today then I was yesterday. 🙂 It’ll get a little easier everyday and I’m really doing my best to stay positive. 🙂 This week, exercise starts back up and becomes a priority again. No more being willy nilly. Get’er done!

Have a great long weekend, Chicks! 🙂 Happy Blogging!

Hungover.

So, I think I had the worst hangover imaginable today. Last night I got a little carried away with the drinking and Dear Boyfriend had to drag my butt home…which of course lead to me being a complete drunken lunatic. Dear boyfriend had one hell of a strip ripped off of him because he showed up 3 hours late and high. (Yes, high on marajuana!!! SO ANGRY!!) 🙁 I was so dissapointed. He knew it was my birthday party and that I was leaving all weekend.  Unfortunately I fell back to an old crutch and drank myself stupid to try to ignore my anger..but it only made it worse.

Lesson learned.

So, I’ve decided I will not binge drink anymore. 10 beers & a bottle of champagne (it’s my champagne birthday) does NOT do good things to anyone…regardless of what college teaches us. hahaha Needless to say I spent the bulk of the morning snuggling with my toilet and feeling too fuzzy/still drunk to drive. My sister had to drive. Her driving is horrifying to begin with and being hungover and pukey definitely magnified that. lol

So, I couldn’t hold fluids down so I figured that since water won’t stay down I could probably keep solids down. I have baffling logic. lol So we got McDonald’s..and I got 2 double cheese burgers, no fries, biggest mother lovin’ fountain pop I could get my hands on. I managed to keep that down, mind you, it did take me over an hour to eat them.  Then about 4 hours into our journey we got iced cappucino’s at Tim Hortons. So I was bouncing off of the walls and singing along to Lady Gaga….I’m almost as entertaining hungover as I am drunk apparently. hahah Who knew?

Once we arrived at our friend’s townhouse we went to visit Mom. It gets harder and harder to see her. 🙁 I cried a lot this time. It’s all I seem to do lately. It’s becoming real now.  She opens her eyes and looks around but it’s like all the pieces are there but the puzzle just isn’t coming together. Her head is half shaved, she has that halo spine head contraption on, covered in bruises…and she’s just lost so much muscle mass and weight. She looks so little. 🙁  She has such a long way to go…It hit me today that the reality might be that when I leave she still may not know that I am her daughter.  She looks at me like she knows me but she doesn’t know why she knows me…When we left there were tears going down her face. It’s so hard to understand if it’s because her eyes were dry and lubricating, or  if it’s because she frustrated, or if it’s because she really does know whats going on but can’t communicate that she understands. Ugh, I’m all bent out of shape over this whole thing. It just hurts me because she is helpless and I cannot do anything to help her. 🙁 The sadness over this whole thing almost consuming me even though she is making amazing progress…I just want my Mom back. I’m going to go to my doctor when I get home and try to make an appointment with a councelor to see if there are ways to deal more effectively. Ook. I gotta change the topic. I’m a wreck again. hahaha Jeeze, who knew I was such a softy? I sure as heck didn’t think I was before all this happened.  

Anyways, back to the crap I’ve been eating. We went to Montana’s for supper and I had half of a grilled steak sandwich and didn’t touch my fries. Had the rest packed up and went through 2 big glasses of iced tea. Dad, my sister and I also split an appietizer of fried calamari. It was interesting to say the least. lol 😀

Dear Boyfriend and I finally set a date and booked tickets to leave on August 6th. So I will be moving that day. So exciting and horrifying all at the same time. Now I have so much planning to do and getting things ready. Blahhh…and the work begins. 😉 I don’t think I like this “growing up” business very much.

Anyway Chicks. I should probably get to bed as I have an early morning ahead of me and a draining day as well. Blahh…

Have a great weekend & enjoy the long weekend (for those who have one) . 🙂