Starting over…again…

Posted by kristynkayte on February 19th, 2012 |Filed Under Uncategorized | 2 Comments

I don’t even know where to begin. I’ve always struggled with my weight. Right out of high school i was in a very abusive relationship and became anorexic. I dropped to my lowest weight of 147 and got so many compliments from my family and friends. If they only knew how I got to that weight. It seemed like no one noticed…and it was my secret. I moved away 4 years later to get away from my abuser and gained weight once I got into a stable relationship. I moved home 4 years later, and lost weight again. Only to lose it again when going through a divorce. My highest weight was 220. After my divorce I lose 65 lbs and got down to 155. Now I am back at roughly 180. I’m so severly depressed. I don’t know where to start. I don’t want to fall back into my old habits…but i feel myself doing it. I work somedays 14 hours and do not eat all day until usually 7pm at work. That meal consists of a graham cracker. I am on my feet all day long taking care of patients and residents and really do not have the time to eat. Until I get home…then I sit at this computer and eat. That is my downfall. I looked up some exercises to do at home, in the mornings before I leave for work, and plan on starting tomorrow…I just need to know more about how to use this site, as I have used others in the past that really didn’t help, and ideas on how to control my eating when I get home at night. I need the support more than anything. If anyone has any ideas for me I would greatly appreciate it. Not even sure I’m posting on the thread I should be. I should also add that I have been on zoloft for a year now and recently changed jobs and am between insurances so i haven’t been on my meds for a month now. Its really effecting me. I need to get back on them as soon as possible. That might make this weight loss a little easier…or at least get me out of this funk.


2 Comments so far

  1. yari85 on February 20, 2012 7:30 am

    Hello. I am so sorry that you are going through such an emotional roller coaster. I just want to say that things will get better. I too have struggled with my weight for many years but the one thing that keeps me going is that I believe in myself and I know that I can make the changes that I want to make. You have to be happy with yourself first, love yourself first so that you can start making positive changes in your life. xoxo

  2. susana on February 20, 2012 9:14 am

    Dear Kristy, I don’t know if I can help with advice, but let me say what I think and then you decide… First, I would eat some snacks at work. You say you have not time, but if you say it is doctor prescribed, nobody will question your apple or your carrot every three hours. That will help you get to 7 feeling less hungry or deprived. Then, when you get home, don’t eat the first thing you see, but take time to make yourself a nice dinner, something tasty and enjoyable. If you can, you may make your meals in advance and then “surprise youself” with something you like eating… Don’t use food to punish yourself –if you eat junk, you are harming yourself.
    My weight also used to fluctuate a lot depending on my emotions, but then I understood that my emotions also fluctuated because of what I ate: wheat, for example, makes me prone to feeling depressed, because it promotes bloating, and bloating brings about mood swings.
    My advice, then,is that you eat healthy, that you take snacks, and that you eliminate empty calories, like those in refined flour and sugar. You mood will get better, you will feel in control, and dieting will become easier as time goes by.
    Get into the forums, read the blogs, and you will find a lot of support here. One day at a time… You can make it!

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