Yearning for… MYSELF.

Cause I’m not sure who this fat chick is!

From 4/10 ‘YESSSSS!!!’ May 7, 2012

Filed under: 2012 — jewlz280 @ 11:10 am

OK, so finally got a response from an Admin.  Turns out its a pretty big issue and is random, so they have their techs working on it, but it could be a while.  But either way, someone is on it and hopefully it will be fixed at some point soon.  That makes me VERY happy because for my weight loss journey, I really feel like this is the only place for me.  So, don’t think I’m not out here doing my thing and attempting to follow you gals — I am!  I just can’t comment.  :/  But soon… hopefully SOON!!!

Flo has finally left the building and my weight is once again 190.5.  I’m glad her visit this time was easy and short.  LOL  Now on to moving into the 180’s!  Ok, the truth is I’m not going to stress over it.  Especially since my youngest is giving me a run for my money this week.  He’s not sleeping well at ALL which means neither am I.  I think we are going to have to start the dreaded crying it out.  I don’t want to do it, but I am really at the end of my rope and well, nothing else is working.  We’ve tried it at least 3 other times and he just kept crying.  But last night/this AM, he only cried for about half an hour and then finally went to sleep.  And when he did, he was OUT.  So, even though this probably isn’t the best time or the best week, it’s got to be done.  I can’t keep doing this.  I’m seriously sleep deprived!  I just worry about my oldest not getting enough sleep from this.  But I don’t have much choice.  Something has to be done or none of us are going to be worth a crap in a matter of a few more days.  Well, probably not true.  We’ve lasted over 20mos. so I guess we’d make it.  BUT, the level of grumpiness in the house is not good.  YIKES.

I really need to get back to working out this week.  I did some manual labor last week, but since then I haven’t done much except for housework and the regular upkeep.  Mostly because I’ve been so tired, hubby is on nights, and well… I’m tired!  I kept meaning to work out last night and never did.  UGH.  So, today I really should be with only about 2hrs. of sleep… I’m sorta dragging.  I’d have gotten more sleep but I have to get up with oldest to put him on the bus and everything.  I don’t feel horrid, just really lethargic.  So, not sure if my body would appreciate exercise on top of exhaustion.  However, I really want to keep doing the Pilates because I need to pull stuff in and tighten it.  I really would like to get to the point where I would feel comfortable in a two piece bathing suit again.  I did go buy a new suit, but it’s a tankini.  And I did buy a bikini top for a bottom I already have.  But I don’t know if I will wear it.  AND, I found another two piece I loved at Kohl’s.  But I am afraid to buy something and not wear it.  But already I can see a difference from just a few weeks ago even though the scale is the same… but it’s kinda a weird difference…. my stomach is all saggy.

You see, I’ve had two rather big babies.  Not huge, mind you.  But I DID get HUGE.  Not weight wise, but with me being shortish, I had NO WHERE for baby to go but out.  And with both over 8lbs., well, my poor stomach was all stretched out!  And I noticed yesterday that my sides were going in and my little shelf on my butt was going away and that my lower stomach looks like an empty plastic grocery bag hanging limply.  So, the suit looks ok other than I need to lose more overall size.  I’m just getting comfy in 14’s and I think I’d look better if I was down another size.  I wouldn’t have this issue if I was a bit taller!  LMAO!  But seriously, I think if I lose a bit more and start using the Mederma, I will at some point in the future wear a two piece suit again!  I kinda wish I had done it sooner.  That way I could’ve enjoyed my 20’s a bit more.  But I did enjoy my teen years and my 20’s were pretty happy.  But my 30’s have been a whole new world, so maybe it’s good I’m doing this now.  Maybe now is my time.  🙂  But what to do about that saggy tummy?  I know it will only get worse before it gets better… but at least it’s getting smaller!  And that makes it easier to cover up.  LOL

OH!  Another spot that is changing is I’ve had these little ‘bags’ on the inside back of my thighs.  Sorta right under my butt cheeks.  Anyways, they’ve always bothered me and I noticed last night when I was shaving that they are smaller and smoother!  YAY PILATES!  LOL  Oh, and my arms are a bit smoother, too.  That’s always a plus as I have ‘batwings’.  Hate the bat wings.  It’s like I have my own personal glider system.  :O  I know that sounds terrible, but that really is how I feel.  But overall, even though the number movement is slow, I do feel progress.  🙂

Ok, well, going to quit rambling on and on now.  I really should go and attempt to do something today… maybe some phone calls and online shopping will do.  And some dishes.  Other than that, I feel like a sloth and I don’t see much else being done.  Take care ladies and here’s to the Tech’s getting the site all fixed up!


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