Yearning for… MYSELF.

Cause I’m not sure who this fat chick is!

As I write… February 29, 2012

Filed under: February — jewlz280 @ 11:59 pm

As I write this, I’m trying to talk myself into working out.  Into being flexible.  And into just DOING something.  So far, it isn’t working.  Mostly because I just don’t want to.  No other reason really.  How sad is that?  I don’t know what’s wrong with me that I don’t want to workout.  I mean, I say I do but then I don’t get up and do it.  I know I would LOOK so much better if I did!  I’ve never gotten that ‘workout high’ and I’ve never loved it, but I do like the way my body LOOKS when I’m working out.  I like the more toned look I get.  I just can’t seem to talk myself into it no matter what I do.  It’s crap, I know.  I just slack.  And you’d think I’d want to get on it.  Especially for my legs.  My inner thighs are just horrid.  I’m not exaggerating.  They are smooshy and wrinkly.  I’m not sure what it’s from, but they just look terrible.  It’s always been my main problem area.  I mean, I don’t love my stomach, but at least the reason why it looks like it does is because it carried my babies.  I can live with that.  But just to be gross for the sake of gross is annoying.  I’m not even sure that working out would help them.  AARGH.

On a good note, still 191 this AM.  I was worried I might be up since we went out for dinner and it was Mexican.  I had some chips and LOTS of salsa.  We then ordered an app and our meal and split it.  I stuck mostly to the app.  It was this avocado salad like thing and it was SO good!  I tried to eat it on a couple of chips, but it would fall off so I mostly ate it straight.  I had a few bites of enchilada w/carnitas but I mostly ate the onions.  LOVE the onions!  A few bites of rice and beans and drank unsweet tea.  Dessert later was a cup of coffee and one churro.  Overall, not bad and I was looking back on yesterday and realized I ate a LOT of fruits and veggies.  YAY ME!  LOL  I already eat them quite often, but yesterday it was the bulk of my day.  I expect a good bowl movement later.  LMAO!  But since I’m not sure what my calorie intake was yesterday, I’m going to be a bit more careful today to make sure I am well within my numbers.  I really would like a good weigh-in this Sunday.  🙂

You know, I think I mentioned before that I was able to get into my 14’s?  But that I hadn’t moved into them fully?  I am thinking in just a couple more pounds I will be in them fully!  My 16’s that use to be tighter (they are a slimmer fit) now fit perfectly.  And when I tried on the 14’s again, I could put them on pretty easy, too.  I just don’t like my jeans snug.  I’d rather they be a bit loose.  So, I’m really stoked!  I mean, I’ll have about half of my wardrobe back then.  And seeing as how I’ve gotten rid of almost all of my fat clothes, its down or naked!  :O  HA!  It’s just nice to see that I’m making a bit of progress.  Even if the scale is slow at times, I just want to stay positive.  The scale was kind this AM, though.  I just hope I can maintain it — it being momentum.  I mean, they’re already putting out summer stuff like swimsuits!

It’s late now and I don’t feel like typing a bit long ending.  So, I’ll just post this for tonight and start fresh tomorrow.  G’night chicks!!!


Messing w/ ME February 28, 2012

Filed under: February — jewlz280 @ 10:46 am

The damn scale is messing with me today.  Normally I’m not too obsessive over the numbers anymore.  I may make little tweaks here and there to the diet, but I don’t really freak over the scale.  It’s not worth it to freak out anymore normally.  But this AM, I did my normal routine and stepped on the scale.  It said 190.5.  WHAT?  I stepped off, shook my head, and stepped on again.  190.5.  WHAT????  I was so startled, I stood there and got on again and 192.  ASS.  I use to weigh 3 times and ALWAYS take the highest number.  But recently because I hadn’t been getting ANY mixed numbers, I was only weighing twice and just putting that in the calendar for tracking and going on with it.  But I was so annoyed I walked into the kitchen, started coffee and got breakfast going for youngest, and went back in and weighed again.  It flashed 190.5 then 191.  I did this 3 times.  Same number all 3 times.  Damn you scale.  DAMN YOU!  I shouldn’t let it bug me, but this AM it did.  I shouldn’t have stepped on there the 3rd time the first time around.  I was just so shocked!  I don’t know how on Earth I could’ve lost that amount.  That would be a 2lbs. from yesterday and 1lb from Sunday.  The 191 is more realistic and what I’m going to take.  Man.  Only 1.5lbs. from the 180’s!  :O  I guess that the scale being an ASS is more bearable when thinking of it that way.

I’m also sorta surprised because I’m feeling a bit stressed.  We got the news that a close friend of the family’s Grandmother passed away just a couple of days ago then last night a close friend of mine from high school posted that her Dad had died.  That’s 2 in one week.  And then my Mom and I sorta had a disagreement over funerals.  It’s silly and I just sorta deflected after that, but it sorta bugs me.  It’s like in this day and age, people have forgotten to show any respect or support for each other during that time.  We’re all quick to post things or send texts or whatever, but when it comes to actually seeing people and doing whatever, no one does it anymore.  Which in many ways makes me sad.  The issue with my Mom is I said something about driving down to go to the Wake and she darn near had a cow.  Said he wasn’t family and it wasn’t necessary.  I told her it wasn’t for him, but for the family, the Mom and my friend.  She was like, ‘Well, they didn’t come to Granny’s funeral.’.  No, no they didn’t.  But truthfully, not many people knew or were even given time to come.  It was literally one of those things where she died and then was buried the next day.  She was 99, so yeah.  It was already planned so there was little to no span of time.  And even though in small to moderate towns word travels fast, it didn’t travel THAT fast so only the closest of family members came.  And that wasn’t many.  You see, the last of my family line is coming.  My Aunt never had children and then I only have one brother.  And of all of my Granny’s family, many of them have passed and didn’t have children or their children are much older.  So… the line is coming to an end.  There just weren’t many people to come to the funeral.  But this was a younger man.  And I pretty well knew him my whole life.  I guess I no longer know what the proper etiquette is for death.  Does anyone else know?  I guess it’s easy enough to say just go if you want to or don’t if you don’t.  But I feel torn.  UGH.

BTW, yesterday was a nice lazy day.  We sorta just sat around and took it easy all day and we really needed that.  Hubby and I talked about his diet and his progress.  I think he got a bit frustrated and I told him not to get mad with me… I wasn’t trying to tell him what to do.  I was just trying to be supportive and help him think it through because he’s lost doing it so he obviously knows what he’s doing.  He calmed down and was like, I think you may be right.  Even though his carbs are fairly low and in theory his cals would be because of that too, he was eating so much fat to compensate for carbs that in reality his cals were much higher than what they should be.  He said after thinking on it that I was probably right.  I pointed out that he would eat eggs at breakfast cooked in oil or butter with cheese, then toast with butter and peanut butter, and then a banana.  That is a LOT of fat, cals, and a bit high on carbs.  Bananas are higher in carbs, but he gets ill without them.  BAD headaches if he skips a day.  It’s weird.  Anyways, between butter, PB, and cheese… I think that is what was putting him over.  He added it all up yesterday and said he thought I was right — he had to be eating almost 1000 cals. more than he needed.  So, he said he was going to count his cals over the next few days and focus on eating lower carb items.  Which is similar to what I do now.  I don’t really ‘watch’ carbs anymore, but when I do eat them, especially when it comes to pasta or bread, I try to make them quality.  But bread and potatoes aren’t a main staple of my diet.  I love pasta, though.  LOVE.  LOL  I eat most of my carbs at my afternoon snack and dessert.  Supposedly a fairly high carb dessert before bed helps you to sleep.  But there are times I just want some cheese and crackers or berries with whipped cream.  Just depends on my mood.

Well, I need to be bringing this to an end.  This is getting LONG.  Hope everyone is having a good start to the week now that Monday is over.  LOL  I’m not sure what today will bring, but I’m hoping to be a bit lazy again.  The rest of the week and into the weekend will probably be busy, so I’d rather have another down day as awful as that may sound.  Take care everyone!


2/27 February 27, 2012

Filed under: February — jewlz280 @ 11:39 am

Hey Susana… Thanks for your input and I know you’re right.  But honestly, I’m not doing anything too restrictive, so I figure that I probably could cut some more cals or up my activity and be a bit more consistent.  I know the calculators aren’t super accurate, but I gotta have some sort of guideline!  LOL  So, no worries, not going overboard!  😀

Thanks everyone for your support — it’s really nice to have it and see it.  I am sorry I’ve  not been better about being supportive lately — especially in the last week.  It’s just been a busy time between doing so many projects around here and then a friend of mine had a family emergency and we’ve been trying to help out.  So, I’ve pretty much been posting my posts and then getting offline.  Even my FB page is suffering from lack of attention!  LOL  I’ve just had too much going on to be sitting and on the pute.  Today is probably going to be a bit calmer.  Hubby is downstairs studying.  Which should be MUCH easier since he got most of the shelves hung yesterday and as a result, I was able to put away a BUNCH of the random things that were sitting around.  It still isn’t perfect, but we for sure have made progress and it doesn’t look so junky or distracting.  We’ve actually made a lot of progress putting up artwork, organizing the overflow pantry, and then hanging all of the shelves.  It’s been nice!  I wish all of our time off was this productive!  LOL

I DO need to run errands at some point today, but I’m not sure when.  I am hoping to go during younger’s nap time after I pick-up oldest.  That would work out the best for everyone.  I don’t have a ton to do, but I do need to exchange some blinds, return a top, and run to the store.  I wish I could get the store done earlier.  Maybe I can run and do that in a min.  Although, I’m sorta waiting to see if my parents show up.  They said they may come today, and I really hope they do!  The kiddos miss them.  And this is my Mom’s last week off.  She keeps thinking that when she goes back to work they will tell her to take some more time off, but I don’t think they will.  I think they will be behind and expect her to work her tushy off to catch them back up!  Mostly because there are others there who claim to know how to do her job, but whenever she is out, they can’t manage to do it.  So yeah, they CAN’T!  So, I suspect that when she goes back, everything will be piled up to the ceiling.  I think in some ways she will be glad to go back but not in others.  Her time off has been good for her to rest, catch up, and have the freedom to go and do when she wants.  But I also think she’s been sorta bored.  This isnt’ really the ‘best’ time of year to be off.  Just not a lot of things to do with it being cold and wet!  I guess I will hold out a bit and see if they come or not before I get out.  Or maybe I should go and get it over with?  UGH.  I need to get up off my tushy so I guess I will go soon.

My weight this AM was 192.5 after my cheat day!  Woot!  I didn’t go crazy overboard, and I didn’t have one huge cheat meal.  Rather, I had some of the things I had wanted throughout the day in moderation.  I think that worked out fine.  I think that deciding how I want to use my day every week is working out better than just having an all day eat all you can of whatever you want day.  I’m really getting to enjoy it without feeling sick or anything.  And it’s making it feel more worth it and more balanced.  I’m liking that!  And then to see what I consider success on the scale the following day… well, that’s a bonus!  Normally after a cheat day I can be up way more.  1lb. is more than likely water as I made our version of Chinese and then later we had salty popcorn!  Just really feels like I can do this and I’m making some good progress, ya know?  Even if I’m not losing 5lbs. a week, I’m still slowly moving down.  I guess that’s why I’m not stressing too much on the calorie thing, but rather just making tweaks.  I would like to be more consistent and see maybe 1lb. losses per week, though.  But nothing more drastic.  I worry that much more than that would be too much restriction on me and I would snap.  I don’t mind a lucky week now and then, but I don’t HAVE to have huge losses to be happy.  I just want to be as consistent as I can be just so I don’t get discouraged.  Having this place to come to and ‘talk’ it all out helps a lot!  Sometimes I feel like my thoughts are jumbled until I get them down and then by the end, I feel better, calm, and like my plan is going right along.

Well, I need to tie this up and bring it to an end.  It’s 10:30 now and if I’m going to go do a few things before this day is out, I need to get rolling and not dawdling.  I am going to try to read a couple of blogs, and then I gotta hit the ground running!  G’day everyone!


2/26 February 26, 2012

Filed under: February — jewlz280 @ 2:18 pm

My official weigh-in number is 191.5.  I guess since I was up yesterday from that salty food, I should be happy with any kind of loss, but I’m still a bit bummed.  I had really hoped for 191 flat.  But oh well.  I can’t dwell on it.  I’m down 5lbs. from the beginning of the year and darn close to my lowest since I’ve been married.  I think that’s another 5lbs. from this point.  I did just realize that I got to mark another small goal off of my list, so that was nice!  But I sure wish I was seeing faster movement on the scale sometimes.  But I’m not going to get frustrated at this point.  All I can do is stick to what is working and keep going.  I did think about reducing my cals a bit more this week, though.  Nothing drastic, just down to 1450 to 1500.  Basically taking 50 cals off of each meal, but leaving my snacks the same.  I guess I will have to watch it this week and just see what works.  I think breakfast and lunch will be easy, but dinner will be difficult.  So maybe I should just cut 150 cals overall.  I know that doesn’t sound like much, but over the course of a week it adds up.  And if I could fit in some exercise, I wouldn’t even need to do that!  But I need the exercise and need to do it whether I want to or not.  LOL  It’s not that I don’t want to… I just haven’t forced the issue.  I think if I am going to do this, I need to do it right and just get to it.

Anyways, that small cut in cals should hopefully do the trick.  I’d really like to be losing about a pound a week, and right now most weeks I believe I am averaging half a pound.  Which isn’t bad, but is dreadfully slow.  And with Summer right around the corner… well… I’d really like to get going.  It’s the end of Feb. now and it’s only another few months before the weather is hot and I will need to be in shorts.  The shorts I have right now are 16’s and I could wear, but they’d be a bit big.  So, I’d like to get down lower and get into my 14’s that I’ve had stocked away.  You know… my 14 jeans fit so maybe the shorts do, too?  I just don’t want them to be snug.  My point is I want to get this going a bit better and be more comfortable over the warm months.  I for sure wasn’t last year even though I was making progress.  I had a month or so of feeling better, but overall I kept thinking I should’ve done more.  So, instead of waiting until later to feel that way, I’m going to try to get to it now while it’s still cold!

OK, just used one of those online calculator things and it says to maintain 191, I need to be eating a bit over 2000 cals.  So, if I’m eating 1600, that’s a 2800 cal deficit per week.  700 short of what I need to lose a pound.  THAT may be why I’m losing only half a pound a week.  So, to cover that other 700, I need to either cut another 100 cals per day from my diet or I need to up how many I burn.  I know this is only an estimate, but hey, gotta have some sort of guideline!  LOL  I also based it on a sedentary lifestyle.  Which I don’t think I have, but I’d rather underestimate than over.  You know, I think I could just cut back some on my snacks and I’d be good!  Two snacks of 150 would be pretty easy to do!  Yes, I still need to exercise.  I’ll get to it, I will!  LOL

Well, not going to make this any longer.  I’ve got lots I need to get done and it isn’t going to happen if I am sitting here on the pute!  Have a great weekend chicks!


This week February 25, 2012

Filed under: February — jewlz280 @ 1:52 pm

This week has been pretty busy!  Hubby has been off and the week has passed with running around, doing things for the house, and all in all just trying to get things DONE.  It seems like we’ve been in motion for days and at night… well, we’re in motion then, too!  Then we pass out.  😉  LOL  Anyways, it’s just been a busy week and we’re trying to make progress.  Today is going to be more stuff as soon as I get this done and youngest goes down for nap.  I wish we were ready to do some work outside — it’s suppose to be nice out the next few days and would be perfect for working on that little stretch of wooded area, but we really need to get some things done inside.  I guess we’ll just open up some windows and get to it and leave the yard for another day.  I have a feeling we will be doing LOTS of outdoor stuff this summer!  LOTS!  Geez… just realized it’s really windy out today.  Maybe it’s good we aren’t going to be working outside….

My weight this AM was 192.5 which was a bit annoying.  Yesterday was 191.5 and the two days before that 192.0.  I realized earlier in the week that I wouldn’t get under 190 this week, but I was hoping to at least see 191 flat.  But at this rate, I don’t know what is going to happen… I do think dinner was a bit salty last night, but I know I was right on with cals so I know it’s not a true gain.  Just not sure if it will slide off in time for my ‘official’ weekly weigh-in.  I just realized yesterday, too, that I will have another week to try to get under 190, though.  For some reason, I was thinking this was the last week and it’s next Sunday since today is the 25th and since this is leap year, there are 4 more days.  That works out pretty good for me, I guess!  Gives me another week to lose a bit more weight.  I hope to have a good weigh-in tomorrow and next Sunday.  If I could lose just my 1lb. each one, I’d be at 3.5 for the month.  Which isn’t huge, but is still good.  Like I’ve said before, I know it wouldn’t be enough for many people, but I’d rather do this than do nothing or gain.

I think hubby is getting frustrated with low carb, though.  He lost around 10lbs., but hasn’t really moved any since.  And he still has about another 10lbs. he’d like to lose.  He says he isn’t sure what he’s doing wrong, but I honestly think he’s eating too much fat.  He eats a LOT of PB and cheese.  And even though that stuff is allowed on Atkins and filling, too much can slow you down.  I haven’t really said anything, but I did say to him today that I thought maybe he should watch his cals. and just see where he’s at.  I’m not saying he should switch, just that he should get a rough idea of what he’s doing on cals.  I think he would see that he is consuming a large portion of his low carb allowance in fat.  Even the original Atkins diet suggested only consuming a certain amount.  And he’s over that.  I think the extra fat cals are what is holding him back.  You see, the real glory of low carb is that the protein mixed with fat is what fills you up.  Keeping you from eating too many non-filling cals from carbs.  Your body has to work harder to burn those types of cals so you end up losing.  That’s all it is.  Which is why even now I still try to get a great many of my cals in the form of protein, veg., and fruit.  But I tell you, I do still have my share of carbs.  I just would rather have my carbs in something I REALLY love versus BS ones that are just there to fluff stuff out.  It can be hard at times.  But there are times I use them to fill gaps that otherwise would make my meals too small.  I do still have fat, too.  Real fat.  I don’t really use anything fat free.  Not a fan.  I use real oil and real butter.  Well, except on certain things… like toast.  I use Smart Balance butter.  It’s the only sub thing I use.  Everything else though, is real.  I’d rather have a smaller serving or real sour cream or real mayo than to use the filled stuff.  They fill it full of sugar and sodium to attempt to give it taste.  No thank you!  I’ll just use less!

Anyways, I think if he checked his fat and cals, he’d see he’s going too high on those and that’s why the low carb isn’t working.  Too many dense cals to burn through.  He said he very well may watch them over the next couple of days just to see what happens.

Well, I need to get off of here and get to doing my stuff for the day.  It is almost 1 and nap time is right around the corner.  I already have the kitchen cleaned, but I need to do a few other things so that once youngest is down, I can do the things I really need to get done.  Hope everyone has had a fab weekend so far and that the rest is just as fun!  I will post (even if brief) tomorrow for my weigh-in.  🙂


Tuesday February 21, 2012

Filed under: February — jewlz280 @ 11:56 am

Tuesday.  Yup, today is Tuesday and back to our old schedule.  Things went pretty well this AM, and for that I’m glad.  It doesn’t always go smooth.  Sometimes I REALLY have to fight with him to get him up, but he got up pretty well this morning and got dressed fast.  I had gotten breakfast laid out and his lunch packed last night when making dinner so I threw that all together pretty quick, too.  All in all, it went well and I’m thankful for that.  I thought that my youngest was getting up at one point, but he went back to sleep thank goodness!  6:45 is just too early for him to get up.  He’d be grumpy ALL day.  We’ve had to get up before with him, and he was just out of whack the entire day.  BLEH.

Yesterday was pretty darn productive though.  Where we are, they were out for President’s Day yesterday so oldest went to a friend’s house to play for the majority of the day.  It was wonderful!  I found some large magnets and gave them to youngest and he sat in front of the fridge playing for what seemed like hours.  They’re huge gear magnets, so I knew he couldn’t fit them in his mouth even if they came apart.  Who knew magnets could make a kid so happy???  I got a LOT of cleaning and straightening done.  I was very tired last night, but VERY happy!  I even had dinner ready when hubby got home.  😀  He’s such a good hubby… even though he was tired, he gave the kiddos a bath.  Well, he gave one kiddo a bath.  The other had already had one but wanted to play in the tub with younger.  It was cute. But so nice of hubby to let me just sit and relax.  I know he’d had a rough day at work, but I think it did him some good to just spend some time with the kiddos.  He got news at work this week of a change in hours.  AGAIN.  So, now he won’t be getting home each night until almost 8.  He was already getting in after 7.  I know everyone is dealing with it, but it’s the hardest on those of us with younger kids since they go to bed the earliest.  In the end, it will really only change 7 days out of the month, but still.  Just annoying.

Anyways, weight yesterday was 194.0 and weight this AM was 193.5.  I don’t know why, but I’m swollen.  I’d say it’s because I’m ovulating and have been so busy the last few days.  I tried to take it somewhat easy yesterday but I just kept finding things that needed to be done.  I have a few things to do today, but I’m not sure if I really want to clean the floors.  I swept and vacuumed REALLY well yesterday, but wasn’t able to mop/clean because I ran out of time and energy.  And now, now it’s looking like rain again and I don’t really like to clean the floor right before it rains.  It defeats the purpose.  I may do the main room anyways and shampoo the rugs.  They’re lookin’ rough.  The rugs, that is.  Youngest has spilled so much on the big rug that it just looks a muddy color instead of the yellow/mustard color that it use to be.  Probably not the best color when you have kids, but it goes so well with the living room.  And it’s wool, so it cleans pretty easily.  Just a steam and hopefully it will look pretty good.  It’s due.  I mean, I think it was last done during Summer!  So, I’d like to do that and have the floor look better.  At this point, I think that is more needed than the other floors being cleaned!  I also have more stuff to move downstairs and I really should do some work in the Study.  It’s getting junked up again, but there isn’t much I can do until we buy or make some shelves and a bookshelf.  Many of the items laying around in there just need homes.  Hopefully we can work on that this coming week.  I’d really like to use up some of this random wood to make shelves and a bookshelf.  Oh, and a lamp stand.  I found this gorgeous old lamp and I plan on rewiring it.  But… it’s just a bit too short to go where I want it.  So, we’re going to cut and stain a block of wood for it to stand on.  I need to find a shade.  I also need to get a couple of other things, but finding the time is a pain in the butt.  I should go and get out today.

Back to my weight… I’m not to worried about it.  I honestly think I am still a bit bloaty from dinner on Sunday, ovulating, and being so darn busy.  I may not be working out, but I am for sure keeping up and going.  However, I may have to cut back on blogging some.  I just feel like I get more done on the days I don’t blog.  I could be wrong… but I don’t want to not blog.  Does that make sense?  I want to keep blogging, just not maybe everyday.  Like, I didn’t blog yesterday.  I don’t think you guys missed me too much!  LOL  I guess I’ll just keep playing it by ear.

Well, I believe I am going to get off of here and get going with my day.  I need to decide on what I’m doing and hop to it!  Hope everyone is doing great!


2/19 Weigh-In February 19, 2012

Filed under: February — jewlz280 @ 1:13 pm

Oh scale… HOW you TEASE!!!  I saw 191.5 and then it flashed to 192.  Which means, I’m between the two numbers.  But since my scale only does half pounds, well, it rounds up.  AARGH!  But no matter — I’m happy.  I’m down a pound from last week and a half a pound from my lowest back in January.  I DO wish it had been the 191.5, but I will deal.  I will be happy with any loss!  I just hope I can keep going on this positive track and see a good loss again next Sunday and finish the month out on a good note.  🙂  I know it doesn’t seem like much, but over time all these little losses catch up.  I could probably cut some more and finally get to working out and lose faster, but at least I’m losing.  Progress.  🙂   🙂   🙂  Even one pound a week adds up.  Heck, even half a pound.  But I’d much prefer the pound a week.  LOL

Today is weigh-in day and Sunday, so that means it’s cheat day for me.  But it’s also my anniversary!  We’ve been married 12yrs.  Together 13.  Sorta unreal to me.  We got married ‘young’ and I honestly don’t think a lot of people thought we’d make it.  I didn’t think we were that young, but a lot of people did.  We’d both lived out on our own and were pretty independent.  Then we got married, moved out of state, and bought our first house at like, 21 or 22.  And now here we are.  Amazing.  Seems like it’s been forever and just yesterday all at once!  Hubby is working today, so we aren’t really celebrating until next weekend.  Although when baby got up this AM we both got up and he leaned over, kissed me, and said, ‘Happy Anniversary, Sweetheart.’  That’s really all I wanted.  He is SO sweet!

Anyways, we aren’t really doing anything to celebrate today.  So, I’ve decided that since my weight loss is behind by 3.5lbs. for the month that I’m not doing a whole cheat day either.  I’m just going to have a cheat meal.  That meal being dinner and that cheat being our fave pizza place!  I wish we could go out, but it’s not going to happen tonight.  But that’s ok.  This place is local and one of our faves and we don’t get it often (its small, family owned, but fairly high in price).  So, we are excited to have it.  Maybe we can go out… we will see…  Not sure about doing dessert… hadn’t thought of it until now!  :O  Maybe I should MAKE a dessert…. I don’t know… guess we will see.  I’m not sure what I would make.  I’m on an ice cream kick right now, so I’ve been eating the low sugar kind with a drizzle of chocolate.  Honestly, that still sounds good!  Maybe I’ll just do that.  I know hubby won’t object — he LOVES ice cream!  LOL  Anyways, I just think that taking the whole day off just isn’t worth it right now.  Plus, I don’t enjoy it like I use to back in the beginning.  Pretty much everything I want, I’ve found a way to fit into my low cal life.  Even pizza.  Lean Cuisine makes these little personal pan pizzas that I just love.  The only reason I even want the regular is just because it’s different.  It’s not even like other pizzas from like Domino’s or Pizza Hut.  It’s hard to explain… hmmm… we could even get that new place… it’s pretty good, too!  Decisions decisions…. either way, it’s pizza tonight unless the hubbs changes his mind.  Knowing him, he’ll end up wanting Chinese or something!  We’re sometimes on the same wavelength, but who knows…

Well, not going to make this horrendously long.  I need to get to doing a few things and then I need to get to lunch.  I mostly want to do a few odds and ends today since yesterday I spent over THREE HOURS cleaning the downstairs.  You read that right.  THREE HOURS.  Most of the time I don’t mind having friends over and letting the kids go downstairs and just PLAY.  But this was unreal.  And I mean it when I say that her kids are not welcome at my home again until they learn some manners.  No, I’m not a hardass.  They DESTROYED downstairs.  Not only was every single bin dumped out (I have the Trofast system from Ikea which for us has around 16 or so bins), but things are broken, ruined, and lost.  We had 24 containers of playdough before — I had to throw away about 20.  They were either smeared on something, dried out, or shoved into something and I couldn’t pry it out.  My curtain rods were ruined from where someone had hung on them and bent them in half.  There’s a hole the size of a half dollar in my wall plus numerous scratches, gouges and other marks.  I only have a handful of Nerf darts left as they chewed off the tips.  Puzzle pieces are so chewed, they no longer fit together.  Then there was trash everywhere and did I mention gum?  Yeah, I was cleaning gum off of crap, too.  AND she didn’t make them clean up before they left claiming she was ‘tired’ and had to go but that she would clean it up when she sat for us the following weekend.  She didn’t.  I don’t know if she forgot or what.  But either way, I hate to be mean but she is for sure going to NOT bring those kids back here until she teaches them some manners!!  Mainly, treat things nicely and clean up after yourself.  They aren’t babies and the sooner she learns that the better off she will be.  Oh.  And the marbles… I still haven’t found them all but they had used them plus playdough to shove into every nook they could.  I feel evil towards those kids now.  I know kids will be kids, but there is a point where kids need their little asses busted.  I don’t allow my oldest to do that and I won’t allow it with my youngest either if I can help it at all.  But I can tell you that these kids didn’t just do a few things, they purposely set out to ruin things.  I STILL didn’t finish it all yesterday, but I knocked out most of it.  I have a feeling when I can get back down there, I will find more stuff.  But today isn’t the day.  I need to get to the things today that I didn’t get to yesterday.  I really should run to the store and get some lightbulbs.  I don’t know how, but we’ve burnt through all of our bulbs.  I may get online and see if I can just buy a big lot of them cheap.  LED bulbs are pretty expensive and for many of our lights that are on a lot, I’d rather have them.  I also need to buy other random bulbs…. guess I will check it out and see.

OK, I am off.  Later ladies and hope your weekend has faired well.


All Day February 18, 2012

Filed under: February — jewlz280 @ 12:46 pm

I guess this will probably be one of those posts that takes me ALL DAY to get done.  Mostly because, well, I am going to TRY to knock out some housework today if my kiddos don’t fight me too much.  I plan on dusting again, doing pots (ours have to be hand washed), and running the vacuum.  Picking up is an everyday thing, so I will do that, too.  And then if I can muster up the gumption, I’m going to try to get at least 3 loads of laundry done.  Then ironing while my youngest naps.  Oldest is REALLY into anything button down or with a collar, so those need to be ironed.  UGH.  Thankfully it’s not all the time, just after so many washes they start to curl at the bottom.  And I am thinking that if I would wash them on gentle and then hang up when lightly damp, I wouldn’t even have to do it hardly at all.  But sometimes I need to get things clean and I just don’t stop to think on it.  Not that it will kill me to iron, I just don’t love it.  Hopefully I can do it now and not have to do it again until the end of the season!  LOL

I already did the kitchen this AM.  I had breakfast, chilled with the kiddos and watched a movie, then cleaned it up.  I still need to do a few things in there like take down some trash, some pantry items, and other whatnots, but I will take all of it down when nappy time comes.  Too hard to do it now… although, he’s somewhat playing right now with oldest so I may be able to get a few things down in a few minutes.  I just wanted to sit for a bit, drink some more coffee, blog a bit, and rest my arm.  I twirked my shoulder yesterday and it hurts pretty darn bad.  So, I want to try to do things in spurts so as to not over-do.  So far, so good!  I just hope it clears up soon.  BLEH.  But I will live and go on.

Weight this AM was 192.5 and I am thankful for that.  Last night was a rough night.  We had planned on a family day so we went out and ran 2 errands and then tried for the movies.  We went VERY early and to the cheap theater in hopes that it wouldn’t be crowded.  We succeeded!  But by the end of the movie, youngest was being a handful and we were happy to get out of there.  But then older got ugly and wouldn’t go to eat.  So, we came home and had to fight with them to get in bed and I was fried after.  Nights like last night make me wonder why I have kids!  But then I think back on all the good stuff… and then times like this morning cuddling and watching a movie.  They’re worth it even if they drive me nuts at times.  I just have to keep remembering that no matter how much they get on my nerves, that this time will pass and that I am so very thankful to have them.  For a long time, I was told my chances of conceiving were slim.  So, to have two healthy kids is really a blessing and in the day to day grind, I tend to forget that.

Anyways, in the rush of the evening, I ate what I felt was too much.  Mostly in the form of popcorn.  I took a snack but we got popcorn and I knew from the movie style popcorn we had at home how many cals were in it.  So I had that, some Cheez-Its (Hot & Spicey!) and one cookie that I also knew the info for.  Plus a diet Coke.  I figured my weight would be up from the sodium!  But I DID drink a ton of water earlier in the day and then even when I got home.  Then once we got the kiddos down, we had Mexican.  I stuck mostly to lean meat, veggies, and their salad, but I figured I’d still be up.  So, to be the same I am VERY happy.  No dessert last night other than a hot chocolate.  That’s somewhere around 100 cals, I believe.  So, maybe not having a heavy lunch and skipping dessert paid off.  I’m really hopeful that the scale will go down some more by tomorrow.  Just got to stay on track.  I know I need to today, but I hope I can keep it up for a while.  I’d like for February and March to be really good.  I know it started off slow since I had some issues at the end of January, but I’d like to go through both months with some really good results!  I know it’s a lot to ask of my body, but I’d love to see 191.5 tomorrow.  I really had needed to lose 5lbs. this month to get me back on track.  More if I had wanted to be ahead.  But I would be really happy with anything at this point, I believe!  LOL  I’m allowed to be hopeful, though, right???  I can hope for 2 so I’m only off by 3!  And then another 2 the next week would be nice… then I’m only off 1 for the month…  I guess we will see.

I guess I need to get off of here and get back to doing stuff.  I need to check a couple of blogs (I’m behind… AGAIN), weather, and then back to housework.  Busy busy busy!  And crap.  I just remembered I need to fix one of our accounts.  I think I will wait and do that tomorrow.  Can’t do much with it over the weekend, but I wanted to go over it and see where I stand.  Heh.  I got this typed out quick!  Guess I will go and get to it.  Take care ladies!


2/17 February 17, 2012

Filed under: February — jewlz280 @ 1:53 pm

Ummm… no real title here.  And I also realized that I never posted my entry from the other day.  SO, its going to look like I am posting two in one day when really, I’m not.  LOL  Anyways, weight this AM was 192.5.  It flashed 192 first, then settled on 192.5.  I’m ok with that!  I do hope to go down a bit more by Sunday, but at 192.5, I am finally back to my low of the year from 1/22.  Which means I’ve basically hovered for the last month.  Which I guess is better than gaining considering the constipation, my cycle, birthday and Valentine’s and all.  I just hope I am finally headed in the right direction now and will keep going that way for at least a few weeks.  I really need a couple of good weeks to get back on track.  Even if I only see a couple of pounds for the next two weeks, I’d still be down for the year.  And that’s good.  Progress over perfection.  But really, I want to see the 180’s.  I NEED to see them soon to keep motivated to keep going.  I have over 30lbs. to lose right now… almost 40.  So, I’d really like to keep going and keep seeing the progress.  But I really need to see 18 something on the scale soon or I’m going to be frustrated to the point of angry.  And you know, I don’t want to waste time on that — it’s useless.

It’s too bad that weight-loss isn’t as easy as the world would have us believe it is.  If it were as easy as they try to make it out to be, most everyone would be healthy.  But weight-loss and health in general just isn’t a simple matter of what goes in and what comes out.  I’m still learning that.  I KNOW it, but making myself believe it is hard.  Mostly because there are flat out times I hate my body and feel betrayed by it.  But I just keep trying to keep on and say this isn’t a simple science and if I just stick it out, something will give.  At least I hope.  And I really am TRYING.  I think that’s what can be frustrating at times is knowing I’m trying and that for some people, it will never be enough.  I am SURE that there are people out there who think I must not be telling the whole truth and that I MUST be not doing something right or I would be skinny by now.  But that’s just it… I don’t aspire to be ‘skinny’ and I know that there are things I don’t know and I am always willing to listen.  I know I’m a bit lazy when it comes to working out.  I just don’t love it.  For food, though, I am really trying hard to watch portions, eat more veggies and fruit, only a portion of my meals are pre-made and lots of water.  I know that exercise in some form is important, but I try to do that by staying busy.  I want to do the other stuff and I will.  But so far, that’s not worked out too well.  LOL  No pun intended!  Ok, a bit intended.  HA!

Anyways, I just wish that it could be a bit simpler.  I’m feeling ok right now, but that’s not to say that I always do.  I TRY to stay positive but at times I Just wonder how I really got here.  Was it just the hormone issue?  Am I self soother more-so than I thought?  Is it really I didn’t KNOW what I was eating?  I’m sure it’s a combo of things to be honest.  I don’t think I really ever KNEW what I was eating before and I don’t think my parents did either.  And I don’t think kids now know what the crap they’re eating.  They REALLY need to bring Home Ec. and Nutrition back to school.  And for crying out loud, recess!  My kid is in K and they BARELY get recess.  Which is why he is so wound up at the end of the school day and comes home bouncing around like a spring.  When it’s warm, it’s fine.  He goes outside and roams the backyard and plays with the dogs.  Then comes in and plays with brother.  But when it’s been cold, it can be a PAIN!  BLEH.  Back to my point, I may have had hormone issues, but I think the not KNOWING played a bigger part.  That’s why we try to talk to oldest about food without it being a big deal.  I don’t want there to be issues there.  I just tell him the truth and get on with it.  However, he knows Momma is trying to lose weight and so is Daddy.  I guess we need to talk to him about that.  I don’t want it to be something major that comes up later.  I just want him to understand that because we didn’t know things growing up that we’re trying to do better now and that we want him to know so he can be strong and healthy.  Yup.

Well, I need to quit rambling on and on.  Sorry I was gone for a couple of days, but we were just busy and didn’t have much time.  Take care everyone and hope you have a nice LONG weekend!  Well, it’s long here because of the 3 day weekend.  LOL  Not sure if anyone else really gets that, but we do here.  😀  I will for sure be back Sunday with my ‘official’ weigh-in.  🙂


Same as Saturday.

Filed under: February — jewlz280 @ 1:18 pm

Got up and weighed this AM and I got a 193.0.  That’s the same as my weigh-in on Saturday!  I’m super happy since I felt awful yesterday afternoon from this storm front coming through and I didn’t do much of ANYTHING.  I just felt sooo… I don’t know.  Out of whack.  I was swollen, dizzy, and just achy.  I took a huge dose of Sudafed and some Ibuprofen and finally got to feeling better.  Once I was feeling better, I was able to get everything ready for the next day, but I started getting myself ready for bed at 10:30.  I was just worn out and wanted to go to sleep.  And I did.  AND, youngest only got up ONCE at like 3:30!!!  And slept in until almost 8!  It was just weird because last night was the first time I had given him a chewable vitamin.  He can’t have them all the time (he’s really too young) but he saw his brother have one and I thought I would let him try one.  Strange that he had that and then slept so well… Some part of me wonders if there’s any connection.  What it could be, I have no idea but it’s a strange coincidence for sure.

Anyways, I’m pretty darn happy with that number on the scale.  I REALLY would love to end Feb. in the 180’s.  Right now, I’m just over 3lbs. from that and I think if I stick it out really well over the next couple of weeks, I could be there.  I don’t want to get too excited, especially since the hubby’s 7 day is coming up and I find it VERY hard to stay on plan during that week.  But I am hoping that being so close will help me to stay on track for that time.  I don’t know why it’s so hard when he’s off.  Probably because we are so busy.  But maybe since he really wants to lose a few more pounds and I really want to get to the 180’s, we will be able to motivate each other to do what we need to do.

I also forgot — I updated my pages.  Nothing major.  But one thing I DO need to do is re-take my measurements.  I’ve not done that in a while.  Maybe I will do that on Sunday.  I meant to once back in January, but I either one did it and didn’t put it down, or I didn’t do it at all.  I think I didn’t do it at all!  And I really meant to.  So, going to try to remember to do that on Sunday.  Still looking for a good pic to put up.  I figure, I might as well at this point.  I mean, I feel like I know most of you and what difference does it make one way or the other?  Other than showing how far I’ve come?  I may not do a full pic, but I want to do some sort of pic.


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