The Splurging Point

I splurged today. The problem is, I didn’t realize I was doing it at the time. Looking back, you would think that I would have guessed how bad the food I was eating was for me, but I thought I’d remembered looking up hot wings earlier this year and that they hadn’t been horrible on the caloric scale. Eat a little lunch with some friends, keep yourself at 8 wings (instead of the boys’ 30 and 40 wings!) and what d’ya know? Just 5 measly wings was 866 calories… on top of which I scarfed down the fries and when I got home proceeded to eat some chocolate and (because it’s good for you… right?) frozen yogurt. I like to justify the frozen yogurt because it has probiotic enzymes in it which help fight bloat, but still. WOAH GIRL! Calm those crazy taste buds down.

The turning point? What made me get on here today? What prompted me to search all manner of things in the google machine and stumble upon 3fatchicks? I tried to make myself throw up. Again. For the 3rd time this year. God definitely had a plan in mind when he didn’t give me a gag reflex – no diet illness for me! Just a long, long road of tearful days and shameful eating. It’s been this way my whole life, and now I’m FINALLY down to 155 and still hate my body.

And so I’m here. I want fellowship and I need a place to write out my sorrows so that I’m not tearing up the back of my throat and my esophogus with my toothbrush, trying to get the chicken to just come back out, just to save some calories.

So, while this isn’t the most … charismatic of first posts, it’s okay, because I’m the girl people say has “the great personality” (the nice version of “uh… she’s kinda fat”) but that’s going to change!! I will be the “she’s so ecclectic!” (laymen’s terms? “She’s smart, with a slammin’ body!”)  There’s always a new day, so today is day one. I’m GOING to stay on target from now on, if it costs me my left foot! (which I didn’t really like anyway, so that’s cool.)