It’s (almost) been a YEAR?

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Oct 5, 2009 is the official day I started tracking my calories, making an effort to exercise and weighing myself on a daily basis. On that day I weighed in at 189.5 lbs.

I have a few days before my ANNIVERSARY so until then, I’m going to be OP, and exercise daily. I’m not going to step on the scale until Tuesday so I can see how far I’ve come.

It’s amazing how fast one year goes by. In the beginning, I was so motivated and enthusiastic about the whole thing. I started burning out by February only to recommit around April then burnt out during the summer and recommiting again now. The great thing is all those lapses only resulted in maintaining my loss or gaining a few pounds. The important thing was to always refocus and not let things get out of hand.

I realize I’m not that person anymore who turns to food for comfort all the time. Sure, I still find food comforting and satisfying but I’m OK with eating part of my dessert or saving it for a later time. I no longer find the need to eat to fill a void.

This journey has also put a lot of things into perspective. I had this notion that being fat was the source of ALL my troubles and by taking control of my weight, I would magically be able to fix everything wrong in my life. I’ve been looking at some of the people in my life who don’t have a weight problem. They don’t lead perfect lives. I’m pretty sure there are overweight people in the world who are perfectly content and happy with themselves. It really is all about learning to love yourself: fat or skinny. I’m still learning to love myself every day throughout my journey. We are all so much more than a number on a scale. I still have difficulty with that concept. It’s hard when our outer appearance is what other people see first.

Yesterday, I ate OP and went to the gym for some cardio. The first mile is always the hardest because I feel like going home but it gets easier once my body gets used to it. It felt great to be back on plan again. I’m finally getting enough sleep and in a better mood.

I hope everyone has a wonderful Thursday! It’s almost the weekend!

No Excuses

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I’m back to 3fatchicks. I feel really horrible that I just disappeared like that (AGAIN) but life became so chaotic. Between my mom and brother visiting for 2 months, and traveling, I put weightloss on the backburner. I still ate mindfully most of the time but I definitely stopped working out as vigorously as before. I went from daily exercise to maybe 2-3 times a week. I tried to eat small meals throughout the day but I definitely had OFF days where I felt disgusting.

I avoided the scale like a plague. I was scared to see all my hardwork being erased by my laziness and lack of control. Last week, my boyfriend was weighing himself and he said “It’s your turn” after he was done. I made a bunch of excuses like “it’s the middle of the day… I’ll do it tomorrow… WHYYYY….” but he would have none of that. I stepped on it and the scale read 144.5 lbs.

I was actually relieved to see that number because I swear I had ballooned up past 160 again. Since that weigh-in, I’ve recommitted to eating healthy and exercising daily.

I have two weddings to attend this weekend and last year, I had made a goal to get to the 120s by that point. Sad to say, I didn’t reach that goal but I have every intention of going under 140 before Friday. At the moment, my scale is reading 140.5 lbs so I’m almost there.

I went to Las Vegas a few weeks ago for a bachelorette party. This is a picture of me from that weekend. It was a lot of fun and I tried to eat mindfully that weekend but it’s hard when we stay up very late and there is so much to do. My sister and I both walked a lot instead of cabbing it and we limited ourselves to one big meal of a day followed by small snacks. I think overall we did well considering my last trip to Vegas included a lot more visits to the buffets and pastry shops.

The weekend after Vegas, my boyfriend and I went on a 5 day cruise for his birthday celebration. I’m happy to say that we didn’t gorge ourselves like we used to on cruises. I ate 1-2 bites of everything to try to taste everything. If the food wasn’t good, I wouldn’t eat it or finish it. I’m sorry to say I did waste food on that trip but I’d rather it not be trash in my body.

Friday through Saturday, I’ll be in Boston for my cousin’s wedding. She’s the one with the father diagnosed with terminal cancer recently. I’m excited to see all my family members. My father is traveling from Asia just for this event. Sunday, I’m going to be attending a wedding in New Jersey of my sorority sister and her boyfriend, a recent dentist graduate. For my cousin’s wedding, I’m wearing a bright blue BCBG dress. For the 2nd wedding, I’m wearing a Max & Cleo babydoll/empire waste purple dress. I’ll take pictures and post!

I hope everyone is doing well on their journey and in other aspects of their life. I have missed you guys and your blogs.

I’m back with a vengeance!