why did i wait so long?

i guess this blog is about my journey with weight loss and getting healthy

bloat May 1, 2010

Filed under: Uncategorized — hveeck @ 12:26 am

why is it that right now, still over 100lbs lighter than my start weight, I feel so much more fat, bloated, lazy and disgusting than I have ever felt before? wtf?  I know the answer to this, but it is frustrating. the answer is… because I have gained over 20 lbs back, and I feel so defeated and ashamed of myself.  gaining weight sucks ass! I mean, I realize when I am putting the food into my mouth that “hey this is a bad idea, this is going to make me feel like a fat ass, this is going straight to my stomach, legs, arms and thighs”  I know all of this, yet I still shovel it in like a prize heffer!  I need an intervention!  You would think that the fact that all of my clothes being too tight might be a trigger, or seeing the scale creep closer and closer back to the 200’s might be a trigger for me to start eating clean again! You would think, but it hasn’t happened yet. I mean, sure I can stay on track for a few days or even a week or so, but then boom! something always makes me fall off track and I turn into a human garbage disposal! I need to stop the insanity.  OR I WILL GAIN IT ALL BACK!! Ok, just needed to write it down. hopefully I will take my own advice and snap out of it! I only have the rest of my life to do this, right?  there is no time limit to my weight loss, its a continuous journey that is going to last my lifetime, so I need to just stop worrying about the past several months of destruction, get back on track with my eating, go to the damn gym, and suck it up!!!! so there



6 Responses to “bloat”

  1. billie Says:

    I’ll intervene for you if you intervene for me.

    Human garbage disposal… i feel like that sometimes too.

    I actually decided to use that for one of my sculpture projects last fall. it didnt really work out the way i wanted it to, so i am going to tweak the design and try it again using different materials. i basically took an old fashioned hand crank meat grinder and attached it to a pole, then fashioned a pink cloth stomach and attached it. then i fed it all sorts of junk food, so that the belly would get fatter.

  2. 3s3s3 Says:

    Thanks for your comment. It’s comforting to know I’m not out there alone recking my plan and feeling guilty.

    I gotta go back to my motivation, my focus – chocolate cake or wearing jeans without my tummy hanging over, nachos or running a marathon, ice cream or a bikini for once in my life. unhealthy food in unhealthy quantities is now allowing US to live the live we have always dreamed of.

    Lets get this right!

  3. 3s3s3 Says:

    Oops, that meant to say…”unhealthy food in unhealthy quantities is NOT allowing us to live the Life we have always dreamed of.”

  4. brseay Says:

    I completely understand your frustration b/c I’m up 20 pounds from last fall and can’t seem to shake it. Like you said, I do well for a few days and then something pulls me off. The one thing I told myself (and have actually stuck with it) is that I will NOT buy a bigger size of clothes. For a while my pants were uncomfortably tight but I stuck to my vow. So even though I’m up weight-wise I’m still in the same size as before. Granted, there isn’t as much room as there was, but it lets me know I haven’t completely lost all control.

    The good news is you haven’t completely thrown in the towel. Even though it’s frustrating to be doing well for a while and then slip, it’s better than just slipping forever. Sometimes maintaining is a victory in and of itself.

  5. round Says:

    I’ve just been on a regain period too – but am starting back now.

    My jeans were too tight while I was on vacation. What did I do? I bought new (bigger) ones. Dumb. Now those are tight too…

  6. kiki Says:

    I’m rooting for you! For all of us!! It’s frustrating as hell! I noticed from your post of May 1st that prior to that you last blogged in April. A suggestion is to blog more often. I sorta feel accountable to all the girls here that blog. We are supporting each other and it helps to moan and bitch when I feel bad, but it also feels so good posting my successes and reading about others’ success. Like I said I’m rooting for you. Keep your head up and keep at it. Visit my page for motivation.



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