It’s as simple as that

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It’s amazing how time just flies. It seems like just the other day that I last posted. And that’s almost two months ago! I went for my holiday as planned. I had full intentions to get back to my disciplined life once I rejoined work, but I fell sick. And have been demotivated ever since. I feel sick and tired all the time. Mine is the kind of tiredness where I don’t feel sick enough to miss office (which means I am working long hard hours through the week) but I feel sick and tired enough to use it as an excuse. And yesterday I suddenly realised that it’s been two months. I paid A LOT of money for the gym and it’s getting wasted. So I finally pushed myself to hit the gym. And unsurprisingly, I feel so much better. Why don’t I get this into my head? I feel stupid. It’s something I re-learn every time. The truth is that I get stuck in this vicious circle. I feel tired so I don’t exercise and then I feel even more tired. And all I need to do is exercise. It’s as simple as that. Stupid stupid me!

Weight today: 163 lbs

Next weight goal is to go below 160 lbs by Sept 1. I can do it. I can. I can.

Targets unattained

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Things were going really well this month and then something happened. I have been exercising and sticking to my food targets most of the month. (Eileen’s March challenge has helped tremendously). And I had started seeing results. I lost 2 pounds early on in the month. And that’s it. No further weight loss. I am at 169.5 lbs and my target for this month is 168. There is only one week to go. And though I am keeping my fingers crossed, I am getting a feeling that I am not going to achieve my target. Yet again. And it sucks. It’s not like I keep very high targets. Then why is the weight so difficult to get off. So ok, I have finally started gymming. So maybe, just maybe, I have gained some muscle weight. And so I am not seeing any overall weight loss. Sigh. It sucks, big time. I read on other people’s blogs that lose up to 10 pounds on a regular month. Why not me? What am I doing wrong? I can’t do more than this. I’d promised myself that I won’t kill myself trying to lose weight. Sigh! I need to see the light at the end of the tunnel.

Weight: 169.5 lbs

Exercise: 35 mins cardio + 40 mins weights + stretches + 15 min walk

Pain is good

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I am in pain. But I am happy. I got my periods today, which is great. I’ve been waiting for it to start and get over with. So the painful cramps are welcome.

I am also happy about the fact that yesterday I actually pushed myself to exercise more. Apart from the hour and a half of gymming in the morning I also did a 25 minute Jane Fonda workout video and a 20 minute walk. I’ve been reading on other people’s blogs about exercise videos so I went and picked up the Jane Fonda CD. And I really enjoyed it. I used to do another Jane Fonda video (in the good old VCR days) which was fun. What I like about Jane Fonda is that her workouts are intensive. You can feel your muscles burning. That’s a sure sign that something good must be happening in your body. I know I will not have the energy to exercise this much everyday but I do feel good about yesterday.

Weight: 170.5 lbs (hopefully this’ll go down in a couple of days when I finish with the periods)

Exercise: 50 mins cardio + stretches + 15 mins walk to gym

Something to look forward to

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Hello everybody. It’s a beautiful day today. It’ll soon get very hot, so let me enjoy it till it lasts. I have managed to push myself to go to the gym all four days this week, so if I go tomorrow this’ll be a successful week. Today was weights and I increased the weights across exercises. Even though at that point of time I was ready to scream out loud in pain, I am feeling so so good now. It’s unbelievable. And I know my ideal weight is like 40 pounds away, and yet life seems beautiful. Amazingly, I am finally enjoying the whole losing weight and getting fitter regime. I look forward to it. It’s rare these days that I ever complain, even to myself, about how I can’t eat so many things or about how I need to exercise (something that I hate). I am loving the fact that when I get up in the morning I have something to look forward to. I have something to look forward to two months later, 6 months later. Because every week, every month will take me to where I have always wanted to be. I have spent the better part of my youth being unhealthy, looking fat and feeling miserable. Damn if I am ever going to go back there again. Never ever. On that note, have a great day ladies!

Weight: 169.5 to 170.5 lbs (keeps fluctuating, may be PMS weight)

Exercise: 32 mins cardio + 45 mins weights + stretches + 15 min walk

Update on Exercise: 25 min Jane Fonda workout + 20 min walk in the eve

Of sagging chests

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Today was strength training day at the gym. I was doing lateral extensions (or something that sounds that fancy) and the trainer kept telling me ‘Chest up, chest up, chest up’. I got so frustrated I wanted to tell him “I am thirty and my chest is sagging, I can’t help it. Yes, I would love to have my 21 yr old chest back and trust me that was UP” So anyways, I just gritted my teeth and put my chest as up as possible. Seriously, I am looking better now than I have in many many years, but I can’t deny the sagging, the wrinkles, and the cellulite. Ah well, I can wear clothes that cover the cellulite and an underwire bra and keep smiling so that people think my wrinkles are just laugh lines. Hee hee (I am smiling already). Have a good day everybody.

Weight: 171.5 pounds

Exercise: 10 mins elliptical + 30 mins strength training + 20 mins treadmill + stretches + 15 min walk to gym

Fat is putting off

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Today is Friday. Yippee! Two days of rest (from work and gym) and two days of dancing (it’s amazing how much I look forward to salsa classes over the weekend). So anyways, as I was saying, today is Friday, which means Friday dressing. I am wearing jeans and a white long-sleeved t-shirt which, I too must admit, is looking pretty damn good. You know, it’s amazing, what the loss of 20 + pounds has done to my morale and confidence. Of course, I have a long way to go. But I am already liking the way I look now. Better, much better.

I was thinking today, on the way to work, how fat puts people off. And if I am honest I too will admit that I don’t find fat men attractive. A little paunch, I may still overlook. But fat men, I do tend to ignore. I know it’s a mean thing to judge people by their appearance. But I am not talking about liking fat people. I have a lot of friends who are over-weight/fat and I love them for who they are. I am just talking about animal male-female attraction.

And that makes me wonder how many people have been put off by my being so fat.  The strange thing is that these last few years I didn’t really realise how fat I had become. Sure, I knew I wasn’t thin. But I didn’t realise that I was looking obese. I look at pictures of me in the last few years and I actually cringe.

My need to lose weight isn’t to attract people or to get compliments. I am secure enough a person. But I do need to loose weight to feel good, to feel healthy. For myself. Although it’s good to know that people aren’t looking at me and judging me because I am fat.

God! I just can’t stop talking/writing today. Shall stop right here, right now. Have a great day ladies.

Today’s weight: 172 pounds

Exercise: 55 minutes cardio + 5 mins abs + stretches + 15 mins walk to gym

Weight fluctuations can be fun

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Today’s been pretty relaxed. Went to the gym like the good girl I am. Today was weights and I am really enjoying it, specially because I do like 15 reps for 30 seconds and rest for 2 mins and start again. So by the end of it I just don’t feel like I have exercised. But apparently I am, or at least that’s what the trainer’s assured me.

My extra two pounds of yesterday has dropped as miraculously as it appeared. I kind of like such fluctuations. The joy of seeing your weight drop after a day of sheer frustration is something else. And don’t I just sound like a complete masochist. 🙂

Weight: 172 pounds

Exercise: 10 mins elliptical + 45 mins strength training + 5 mins stretches + 15 min walk to gym

Unexplained weight gain

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Went to the gym in the morning. And though in the past I’ve always been very enthusiastic in the first couple of weeks (so my enthusiasm this time is not surprising), I’m still happy that I am pushing myself to be regular. The disappointing bit is that I weighed in 2 pounds heavier today morning. I don’t understand why. I have not cheated on food and I have been exercising. Unless, for some reason my muscles are retaining water from exercising or something. Is that even biologically possible? Anyways, I’m not going to let myself get demotivated. I am going to push myself.

From today onwards I am going to post my weight and exercise everyday. Hopefully it’ll help.

Oh and I have decided to take on Eileen’s  ( challenge. And yay! It is exciting, and definitely a good reason to keep one in control.

Weight: 174

Exercise: 50 mins of cardio + abs + stretches + 15 mins walk to gym

Get set and go!

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Hello hello. I am in a happy happy mood. I finally joined the gym and today was my first day. I took it slow today – 20 mins treadmill at 5 kph, 15 mins cycling and 15 mins of cross-trainer (or whatever its called) and some mins of stretching (cool down). This is not including the 15 min walk to the gym (I took a cab on the way back. I was late for office and tired out. Besides, I didn’t want to reach office and collapse like an overburdened fat cow.

Oh, but I did enjoy the exercise. It amazes me, really, how much I do enjoy exercising (after it’s done) and yet it is such a task to get me moving. You know I have been talking about doing something for the past 6 months and finally got around to joining the gym only now. The problem is that I start enthusiastically but can never sustain the momentum. And I have started and left exercising so many times in the last 10 years that I could just not motivate myself to start this time. But now that I have, I’m glad!

Weight today: 172 pounds

Back, recharged

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I am back. This time to stay, hopefully. I’ve not put on too much weight (thankfully) in the last couple of months. If anything, I’ve lost some. Am currently at 172 pounds. Lightest that I have been in many years. Since I am starting again after such a long time I am going to reassign my goals. So here goes my short term goal:

(March 1- 172 pounds)

April 1- 168 pounds

May 1- 164 pounds

Also, I’m finally getting serious about exercising. Yesterday I checked out the two gyms that are close to my place (walkable distance, long walks though). I liked one, though it’s much more expensive than the other. But it smelt nicer (yeah, I can be weird about such things) and I saw some good looking people (whatever will motivate me to get myself out of bed every morning). Tomorrow I’ll go for a trial. And Monday I start. Oh, and I almost forgot to mention. I’m learning the Salsa (one hour per session, Saturdays and Sundays). Have completed two months. And though I may not have lost any weight, I sure have a skip in my walk. 🙂

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