Yes, I’m Still Alive

What’s funny is that I wrote this title because I haven’t blogged in a month and realized that it corresponds with the alleged Mayan “end of the world.” Alas, we are all still here – at least from a zombie apocalypse standpoint. Anyway… back to the weight.

It’ seems almost insane that I started this venture on 10/11/12 and here I type 55 lbs lighter than I was just a short few weeks ago. Things with IP are going well and I’ve definitely settled into a bit of a routine with it. I definitely mourn the loss of Ben & Jerry’s while watching movies at night but my knees thank me daily.

Aside from feeling better I have a bunch of clothes that I can wear that I’ve held onto with hopes of “one day” and that day is now today… for most of them and once they get too big they get donated. I’ve held on to my No Fat Pants Insurance bottom line.

I’m a third of the way there! I can do it! How have you been?

What 40 Pounds Lost Means

Seriously, until you’ve had to get on the floor, suck in your gut, and get blisters on your fingers zipping up your jeans you’ll never know the joy of taking them fresh out of the dryer, putting them on, zipping them up and moving on with your life. THAT is what 40lbs lost means to me. ♥

Feeling My Feelings

I’ve been a bit… shall we say… CURT lately. I guess it’s probably more accurate to say that I’ve been a B!%@h. Now, don’t get me wrong, I’ve never been in the running for The Most Patient Person on Earth but I have been able to control my curtness to a reasonable degree. Until lately.

It seems like now I feel like I can snap at a moment’s notice. I really thought it was because I’m mourning the loss of Big Mac’s and pie but I think it’s something else. Normally, if I was upset or disappointed or unhappy or ANYTHING I would swallow that emotion and wash it down with ice cream. That’s no longer an option.

Now I have to actually FEEL my feelings.

My disappointment at myself or just the world in general when things aren’t going my way I actually have to process and feel… and then deal with…

This is certainly a new feeling. Does anyone else feel like this?

First Time For Everything

After making it through a stressful week leading to Thanksgiving I was actually looking forward to my weigh in this week. Not only was I excited that I made it through the food-fest but for the first time my husband was able to accompany me to my appointment.

We get there and I all but jump on the scale then I was met with instant disappointment. I lost just over 2 pounds and everything was off. My fat was slightly up and my lean mass down. So I successfully lost muscle and actually gained a little fat. WHAT HAPPENED?

Apparently, not eating enough is just as bad as eating too much on IP. Going through my journal with my coach we noticed my critical lack of veggies and how most days last week I had only 2 packets per day. Not enough protein was what set my numbers back.

For the first time EVER I ate too little to lose weight.

Normally, I would have been a bit destroyed and let that setback really affect me. This time I decided that I know the problem, I have to find a way to fix it and continue on the momentum of this lifestyle change.

To address this issue I purchased more liquids instead of foods. I don’t want to eat a soup or make an omelet everyday but I like the chocolate and vanilla drinks and I can drink them in the morning or at night as a snack. I need to plan my days out more. Although last week was a busy week and a very different schedule it’s going to be like that all through the holidays so I need to be prepared.

All in all, I’m still very pleased with the way that I feel and the way that this program works. I’m heading into week 7 with a renewed vigor and my husband gets to share my excitement with me even more.

Surviving Thanksgiving

I’ve been stressing Thanksgiving since October 11th. That was day I walked into Ideal Protein. Of all the days that were to come Thanksgiving gave me the most anxiety. I wrote in my food journal on November 1st to say to myself every day: It’s just another day, not a license to eat.

T minus 24 hours before the first of 20 guests would arrive at my home for our customary feast and my step daughter and grandchildren are over to bake pies. Since she has a family of her own she spends this time baking with us and we can see the grandkids. I love seeing them but for some reason I was in a really bad mood and I was feeling a bit anti-social. I excused myself to my room feigning illness to be alone and I had just purchased some picture frames and I wanted to get the pictures on the wall before Thanksgiving.

I have the printer loaded with photo paper, the pictures in the folder and I just couldn’t get them to print. I call out to my husband (chief cook, bottle washer and resident computer genius) and ask him what’s wrong. As he’s looking at it, I start crying. I took him by surprise. He asked me what was wrong and I told him I had no idea. He assured me that there will be no fatalities if the pictures aren’t on the wall before people came over. I repeatedly said nothing was wrong and I believed it until I really dialed in to what my issue was.

Here I am sitting in my room avoiding people because they are out there cheerily baking apple pies I can’t eat, mashing potatoes I can’t eat, prepping macaroni and cheese that I cant eat, and filling the house with smells I can’t even appreciate smelling because I won’t be able to @#$%!! eat!


Why is food so damn important to me? Why does the wafting aroma of apple pie turn me into a cranky, evil person? Why do I give it so much of myself?

Then I started thinking that if I can’t handle the SMELL of today then I am dead tomorrow!!

Thanksgiving morning I awoke with a refreshed heart. I did my affirmations that it was just another day to be grateful to God for all of our blessings. I was determined not to let food – something that really is just fuel for my body – to dictate my mood, my happiness, and my ability to deal with others.

I won’t lie and say that it was easy because it absolutely wasn’t but I enjoyed my turkey breast, rutabaga with sausage stuffing, cauliflower mashed, and Ideal Protein raspberry jello as my cranberry sauce. I followed it up with some strawberry wafers for dessert. More than the food I got to see my twin 3 year old nephews finally realize that my little tiny dog really loves them, my sister in law got to see our new house for the first time, we got to debut how we’ve set things up over the past few months, and we all got to spend time together.

I didn’t have to wear elastic pants, gorge myself, and get comatose on egg nog to enjoy the day. Victory!

There’s a McDonald’s!

I always say that I can wake up in the morning and set my watch to my husband. He’s Mr. Routine. I know where he is at precisely the same time virtually every morning. I’m not that routine. At least I didn’t think I was. Changing the way you eat makes you keenly aware of your triggers but also your habits.

The other day I had to drive into Boston and in my customary rushing around I didn’t bring any packets with me. Can we say BIG MISTAKE. I was fine on the way there but on the way home when my hunger started to kick in I was in trouble. I’ve been known to say that I haven’t been truly hungry since 1978, but with Ideal Protein if you don’t eat for a large portion of the day you can get authentically hungry. I was hungry. I needed a quick place to grab a bite.

Everyone has their preferences for fast food. I am a McDonald’s fan. I’m a classic Big Mac, large fry, large vanilla shake kind girl… and I have the belly to prove it! More than just being a Mickey D’s lover, I was the person who would immediately pull over to the nearest sign of Golden Arches and have my way with a burger if I even thought about being hungry. I’ve even been known to stop by one on my way home in the event that dinner might be running a tad late.

Needless to say, here I am in Boston with the worst traffic outside of midtown Manhattan after a long day of work staring down the barrel of a nearly 2 hour drive home… HUNGRY. I try to think of somewhere I can go. I’m sure that I could get a salad at Subway or even D’Angelo BUT every where I looked there were McDonald’s.  I started to long for just a bite of a Big Mac. I mean I’ve made the Big Mac in a Bowl recipe and I love it but it isn’t a true, tasty BIG MAC.

Now I start negotiating in my mind: Perhaps I can just order one and scrape off everything and just eat a portion of the burger. I probably won’t go out of ketosis with just a single fry. It’s Thanksgiving soon. Should I just drink a shake and consider it the holiday?

As I had just nearly convinced myself to sample some food from my former favorite place I realize that I can’t have a tiny bite of burger, I won’t be satisfied with the aroma of a fry and even if I love that shake on the way down I’m going to HATE MYSELF later.

I suffered all the way home but I didn’t give in and I didn’t cheat. I had to keep telling myself that I’ve worked too hard and lost too much. I had to remember that although I’m in the car on a long drive I am no longer the Mickey D’s food freak who can stop on a whim and satisfy a 3 minute craving with a lifetime of disappointment.

This isn’t easy… but it’s definitely worth it and I am worthy of it.

What Weighs 30 Pounds?

This past Friday I crossed the 30 pound weight loss milestone. It’s amazing to see just how much I’ve changed in 5 short weeks. I’m noticing that my t-shirts appear longer, I’m on the first hooks on my bras and my pants look like they belong to someone else. Trying to put that visually I did a little research and this is what weighs 30lbs:

  • 10 cans of Crisco
  • 20 dozen eggs
  • 4 gallons of water
  • An average 2 year old
Well, that certainly puts it into perspective!

7 Days Until The FEAST-O-CRAZY

Thanksgiving. Goodness. Thanksgiving. Thanksgiving is the kick off of every possible sweet, savory, and amazing food on Earth slathered in butter, dusted with sugar, and personally kissed by Paula Deen. It’s where men, women, and children of all ages don their elastic waist pants, crack their knuckles and dive head first into gravy.

It’s also 7 shorts days away from a potential anxiety attack.

People just don’t seem to know how to act on Thanksgiving. And not just any people FAMILY PEOPLE!

“Really, what’s ONE POTATO?”

“Stop this foolishness and EAT.”

“This is the worst time of year for a diet!”

“Not eating? Okay, drink wine.”

The questions will be never ending and the pressure to strap on the feedbag is going to be insane. The very same people who exhaled loudly and rolled their eyes at the mention of my joining YET ANOTHER program will be the very same people trying to get me to eat deep fried mayonnaise coated in bacon grease!

Since the beginning of the month I’ve been telling myself that I can do this. I can calm noise about food and just focus on the true nature of the holiday: giving thanks! So instead of focusing on the food that I can’t have I will focus on what I have and why I am so blessed.

  • I am thankful for God and all the blessings that He has bestowed to me
  • for my amazing husband who loves me unconditionally
  • for my beautiful children who have shown me with each passing day how every stage of their lives is a joy and benefit
  • for the fact that I have a roof over my head, a car in the garage, and a place that is truly my sanctuary and until you’ve slept in your car I don’t think you really have a true feeling of how amazing that really is
  • I am thankful that I have another chance to get my health together and this time I feel like I’m ready
  • I am thankful that for the first time I feel like I am worth it!
These things are worth more to me than any number on a scale, size of dress, or sausage stuffing ever could be. I’m ready for the Feast-O-Crazy.

Move Over Potato! Make Room For Rutabaga

If you’re here reading this chances are that you have a firm love and affection for potatoes. You are not alone. I am a potato lover and trust me when I tell you that I have mourned to loss of potatoes on IP. Although the plan’s Potato Puree is decent… it’s definitely NOT potato. Oh, neither is mashed cauliflower.

At my weigh in last Friday our coach had put up a flyer that had pictures of different vegetables and if you lifted the flap you would see the name of the veggie and some facts and a recipe.

One picture I noticed right away because I had it for the first time just this past summer: RUTABAGA! It was a surprisingly mild taste and it certainly wasn’t nearly as bad as it sounded. I was even looking for them on my last shopping venture because I liked it but I couldn’t find it. There was something called Waxed Yellow Turnip that suspiciously looked like a rutabaga but I wasn’t taking any chances. They are, in fact, one and the same. Now that I knew what they were I picked them up and let my husband work his magic!

Rutabaga Fries
2 cups Rutabaga cut into fry shape
Adobo Seasoning or Old Bay
2 Tbl Olive Oil
Salt & Pepper

Take the olive oil and place in a saute pan on the stove on med high heat. Add in the Adobo Seasoning or Old Bay to the oil. When hot put in rutabaga and cook like french fries. When toasty brown remove from oil, drain on paper towels. Add salt and pepper to taste. NOTE: A nice complement to this dish is Walden Farms Ketchup!

After having these tasty potato free fries I was hooked. The secret to a successful eating plan is to not feel deprived. It was getting a little dangerous the more I kept missing food… mourning food. I’m still thinking of ways to be sure that I say on plan for Thanksgiving! The joy of this recipe is that I feel like I’m eating potatoes… like everyone else… like any other day.

Let me know if you try them or if you have found any other food that can take the place of one of  your former favorites AND make you happy!

28 days 27 Pounds

I had my fourth weigh in today and I was nervous. Last week I had a banner week. I ate well, took my vitamins, drank loads of water and I felt so in my stride. Then came this week like a freight train!

Losing work days to the storm made things challenging. I didn’t want to be too far behind because there’s a plan and method to my work madness that I like to keep on track. Putting in the time to be sure that things are all straightened out and that projects were back on track came at a price. ME.

Before you panic, I didn’t eat a Snicker’s bar or a loaf of bread! I didn’t eat much at all. I would work and go home and realize: I didn’t drink any packets or eat any vegetables… AT ALL.

When I went for my weigh in today I still had 8 packets of Ideal Protein LEFT.

Although I lost 6 lbs it came at a price. For the first time in my weigh in history (yes, 4 = history) I lost more lean muscle than fat. The plan is the plan and I need to work the plan to continue to lose fat, retain muscle, and reclaim my health and my life.

I recognized that I did something typical: I sacrificed the time I needed for me and gave it to work. Work didn’t require that this stuff be finished but I would have felt better emotionally to have it done that way. I gave myself an excuse to deny me what I knew I needed to do. Typical me.

Going forward I will be sure to make it a priority to plan my day in advance, put my  health first, take my vitamins, and be sure that I am giving the time I need to succeed.

The work isn’t going anywhere… but my body fat is!