May 16th, 2013 by luluxlove

So I’ve a had a good long day but I’m so knackered. And everyone just keeps talking to me about food and eating to the point that I’m actually even more tired from discussing this stupid shit. Everyone (who doesn’t diet, have EDNOS or in fact even seem  to know much about dieting) is busy telling me what to do, how to do it and why I fail at it. It just makes me feel fatter, less attractive, more depressed and uncomfortable in my skin. I am considering approaching a low Gi diet, and actually removing most simple carbs and sugar from my diet as now that I’ve been eating so little meat and more past or bread I havent lost ANYTHING. I still eat virtually nothing… I mean my calories are low most days although last night I had some sushi, more than I’d usually allow myself for dinner. Still I feel plateaued and I’m so tired of all the self hate I’ve inflicted upon myself. I envy people who don’t care, who can just eat and be happy. I miss those times. I the time when food was awesome… now I can’t enjoy it because even while I’m eating it I hate myself for eating it…

Ugh. Sorry for a very EDNOSy post, whoever is reading this. Not good stuff. I’ll be trying to battle is and look into a healthier way to lose this weight…

From starving to healthy…ier…

May 14th, 2013 by luluxlove

So all I can say about myself is that my relationship with food has been pretty horrendous in the past few months. Scary EDNOS thoughts creep into my mind and have made me reject food badly. But after a few recent break-downs I realised how affected I actually am by this, to the point that it’s developing into this monster inside my head.

So now I’m attempting to do a healthier streak, still sticking to low calorie stuff and watching what I eat very carefully but at least not completely starve myself.

Today’s intake so far:

930 AM- Coffee, skimmed milk + sweetners – 10kcal

11 AM – 2 rice cakes ( 30 x 2) with a spoonfull of tzaziki on each (35) and grated carrot (10) , also piece of ham (40) = 145

11 30 – sugar free redbull (I’m studying I need some energy to keep me focused 😉 3kcal

So 158 so far. Not too bad.

Hello world!

May 14th, 2013 by luluxlove

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