Archive for January, 2012

I pushed through!

dysfunctionalbarbie on Jan 31st 2012 04:02 pm

Man was I ever extremely bloated today it was the worst I have felt in a long while!

I didn’t workout yesterday I was soo cranky but I ended up buying lots of fruits and veggies to eat.

I pushed through my Bob DVD today…there was so many times I wanted to quit but didn’t! Yay me!

I got my hair cut, it needed to be done…I’m hoping it’ll start making me feel better. I haven’t been this bitchy in a long time, it’s not even one day passing it’s been three now…Tomorrow will be a better day!

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1 bloated chick and a whole lot of lateness

dysfunctionalbarbie on Jan 30th 2012 07:12 am

No one won the biggest loser challenge this week. I didn’t bother asking for weigh in’s because I wanted to see if people would just tell me themselves instead of me asking them. Besides with everything going on last week and TOM I didn’t’ really care much. I stayed away from the scale this morning, I looked bloated, I felt/feel bloated so I know I’m extremely high up there because of it. TOM is officially here. I over ate a ton yesterday up to 2150 calories. If I had chosen healthier choices for my 12 hour shift I would have been fine.

I had a Spinach shake, coffee, cottage cheese, 2 hard boiled eggs, two sandwiches on smaller buns, a chewy kashi bar, yogurt, lunchable. Dried fruit for snack, pistachio’s, snap peas and two carmel chocolate things. The three things I crossed out would have had me under my calories for yesterday. I binged on the carmel things when I got home after work. I know bad me, but I only ate two which was better than three or four I think. I’ll just consider yesterday was my “Fat day”. Scratch it off my list and move forward today.

I now have to take the bus to work, which gives me about 20 minutes of walking, 10 to the bus stop, 10 to work. Then do it all again back home. I guess isn’t so bad…I know my bosses are going to yell at me because I will now be 15 minutes late everyday for work because of it. What can I say, I’m doing the best I can…You want to pick favourites on who gets parking and tell the rest of the staff to take the bus. You inconvenience me now about 2 hours of my day I think they can settle for me being 15 minutes late. Bad attitude I know, I’m extremely unhappy and I’m currently looking…I know D really wants me to work for him, but the truth is I can’t go from one mind numbing job to the next…at least one is only 8 hours and I have the internet…D’s is 12 to 14 hour shifts sitting in a car(day and night shifts)…sure easy enough work and also enough boredom to want to blow my head off. Not to mention a pay cut, (sure I’ll get tones of ot…but who the hell wants to sit in a car for that long.) Just gotta suck up my current situation and find something I’m going to enjoy more of…not job to another job I’m going to hate within two days of doing it.

Now today I have hot Yoga at 6 tonight and some grocery shopping. I think I’m going to try to do hot yoga every day this week since I have the two week’s unlimited which is done next Tuesday.

Goals today:
Eat 1500 or less calories
Do 1.5 hours of hot yoga
Work on my resume

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1 girl 3 jobs…

dysfunctionalbarbie on Jan 28th 2012 11:51 am

Is 165 my safe number now? Don’t get me wrong i’m more thankful at 165 than I am at 170…but couldn’t  you just go down one more pounds?! I know it hasn’t been the greatest week! Well I was doing great up until thursday when I ended up activating my stomach ulcer getting sick quite a few times. I even called in sick for Friday because I didn’t want to take a bus, or get fired that day because I was still angry and I even decided to take a sick day on Saturday (today) at my second job, because…well let’s face it sometimes we just need an F’in break! Because I’ve been way to emotional the last two days…YAY TOM. 😛

I haven’t worked out since Wednesday, but today I think I’m feeling a lot better to pop in Bob Harper’s DVD and get er done! I work tomorrow at job number three which is a 12 hour shift so unless I workout when I get home I doubt I will not be doing anything. which is fine…4 days of working out is good!

Todays Goals:

Eat under calories (I don’t know how much to eat under I just want to be under 1500)

Get Bob Harper’s workout done and enjoy it! Completed…it seemed harder today and I felt lack of energy but I still did it!!! 😀

Update my calories journal because I’ve been slacking the last few days…

WOOT! Let’s go!

P.S Journeytoskinny: One day I will do those challenges you put up! One day…:P

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Stay away from the Scale TOM week…

dysfunctionalbarbie on Jan 26th 2012 11:59 am

I need to stay away from the scale until I start and finish TOM. Seriously 169…seriously! WTF I even been workout everyday this week and I’m puffed up to 4 pounds! Yes it pisses me off, hell I know it pisses everyone off this time of the month. So I think it’s best to say, I need to stay away from the scale for a little over a week in order to get my real weight back. My cycle is so weird the week before (this week) I’ll be bloated and gained. Next week (when I start) It’ll take me a few days to start then I will go for almost 8 days…and even the week AFTER I still have symptom’s and cravings…WTF…

It’s also nice to know that myself and another employee are like dog shit to this company I work for…I love it…Jumping ship doesn’t look so bad now, even with all the cons to it. I know, don’t make a rash decision unless I have a solid plan it doesn’t matter how much I’m just itching to say fuck it and go. I will take this weekend to figure everything out then base my decision on everything. I do have two options I can go to right now…Two options that may have me make more money instead of working three jobs I’d only have to work one. I’m a highly emotional basket case right now…

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That Chocolate Bar hit the spot

dysfunctionalbarbie on Jan 25th 2012 11:42 am

Yesterday’s Calories INTAKE: 1793
Yesterdays workout: Bob Harper’s Ultimate Cardio 50 mins.

Well today I already did my 760 stair climb up then back down. I still have Hot Yoga tonight at 6, which is a 1.5 hour workout, which I think will help with this extra wtf weight gain. Since I was up a couple of pounds today which isn’t shocking due to over eating a bit yesterday (Though I worked out hard core with my Bob DVD, which had me dripping sweat within 10 minutes and it was a 50 minute workout) I’m going to get a two week unlimited pass for $40.00 for yoga and do it. Today, Friday, Monday, Wednesday, Friday of next week and then Monday, Wednesday the week after since my two weeks will be up by then. Is that too much? Probably but the reality is I WANT MY CAMERA! I’m so close to getting it that it’s ridiculous, besides I want to be back into the 150’s like I was before I decided to go hey, let’s gain all this back! Maybe it’ll become unrealistic and too much but if it gets to that point I’ll worry about it then!

I had already done my 760 stair climb back up and down that’s a total of 1520 stairs up and down. I can feel the pain already in my legs and ass from lastnight workout and the climb today. Glad I have yoga tonight to stretch it all out! Oh I just ate a chocolate bar, but the truth is I could waste the calories for it; especially after tonight’s workout. I think I need to be fueled for it or else I’m going to die. I am wondering though if I want a nap after work before I go. I think I can afford a nice little 2 hour nap…lol We will see! Maybe my friend will come over and keep me company and I’ll just do laundry. Who knows…nap does sound wonderful!

I also notice small changes in my body, it’s becoming more toner. I’m really starting to love it. Also this tower stair climb seems to come into my regular routine now. No one was able to do it at lunch and two people were doing it at 8:30 this morning and I decided the hell with it. DO IT, I feel good about it though gross because I’m still yuck from sweating.

Does anyone else have a sweating problem? Like I don’t sweat if I’m not doing anything (I used to as a teen and deodorant never helped) then for some reason it all of a sudden stopped…well Not every time I work out and it doesn’t matter if I’m just starting or hardly doing anything but as long as I’m working out I sweat like crazy! I mean I was dripping from this stair climb, my head was pretty wet. Of course the two other people hardly broke a sweat. It’s not because I worked out harder either and at first I thought it was because I was just over weight but I don’t think it’s that…

Goals today:
Calorie intake: 1700 (I know I upped it but my workouts are starting to become burtal.)
Tower Stairclimb Completed
1.5 hours of Bikram Yoga – 6pm tonight.

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True friends are hard to come by

dysfunctionalbarbie on Jan 24th 2012 10:40 am

I over at my calories I had about 1647, but technically since I did the stairs yesterday for about 30 minutes I probably ate just around 1500. You see I’m not exact on everything because really I’ve lost weight before without counting calories and most of the time I estimate. I keep a food journal instead of using an iphone app. I find it can keep me much more accurate and I prefer writing things down instead of having a computer do it. Looking back in a book is so much easier than an app, and after this week is done I can go back and compare this week and last week to see how I’ve done.

I told myself I’m only allowed to step on the scale twice in a week. Sunday is my official weigh in day and Wednesday will be my check in day to make sure I haven’t gained and if I have then I need to change something or take measure in to make sure I do not lose a weigh in! I’ve lost 1/3 I know not bad, but that’s 1 weigh in I don’t want to deal with again with losing. I’m sure my competitors aren’t taking this serious actually they don’t even care which is fine their opinions aren’t really mattering to me. As long as they give me their weight on Sunday I’m happy to see I win. Lol. Bad, I know! I’m not usually competitive but something triggered me with an issue which I guess, I think I was like okay “forgiven” but it’s really not…I think because I lost 5 pounds when I get paid next Tuesday I’m going to treat myself to a hair cut and getting my eyebrows done. Maybe I’ll give myself small gifts for every 5 pounds, and the 10 pound mark my big gifts!

Today I work at my second job at 5, boo but I think I’m going to go home, have a cup of coffee pop in Bob’s DVD get in a badass workout in. Shower, get all dolled up, because a cute guy is coming in who has an appointment today and go to work! I’m not really in the mood to date anyone mostly because no one if good enough for me, and I won’t see anyone good enough for me because well…I don’t settle and I deserve the best! Lets face it the men I pick don’t deserve me and the men who pick me aren’t good enough for me….

I have two of the most amazing best friends that live back home. Lindsey and Suzanna, I mean it doesn’t matter what happens these two girls are someone I can count on. These two girls are people I can trust, people who wouldn’t sabotage me in any way it doesn’t matter how miserable they are. Two people who are the most honest loyal people who would never be my “frienemies” I’ve ever me who I love dearly and who love me just as much. I am eternally thankful to have met these two and even though they are over 3000 miles away I know no matter what they support me! I love you two!

Today I’m pretty proud of myself after I fought with myself not to step on the scale I also threw out my “ex” (I have “ex” in quotations because it was on and off again relationship for a year…he’s BS!)T-shirt, deleted his number from my phone AND ripped up the piece of paper in my book which had his number in it. If I don’t have it, I can’t contact him. If I don’t see his shit, I won’t think about him. It’s kind of like a whole new detox which I tend to give in to and I don’t know why, I deserve better than him and the truth is he isn’t even worth my time and I know that, yet still I’m dumb enough to give it! It drives me mental, but the only way to move on is to finally let go. Everyone keep your finger’s crossed he doesn’t text me either! It’s like he continues to hold onto something that just won’t work. Need his pathetic ego boosted. Well NO MORE!

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Pink team for the win!

dysfunctionalbarbie on Jan 23rd 2012 06:43 am

It’s really a great start to a wonderful week, not only was I for once early for work (usually just strolling in 30 seconds before I’m suppose to I’m still 165 which is telling me this wasn’t a fluke! Which I’m super stoked about! That extra push in that dreadful hot yoga room is what caused me to drop a nice 5 pounds this week! I’m sure if I didn’t do hot yoga I would have only dropped 3 pounds which would have tied in with the Green team! Boo we don’t want that now do we!

As you can tell as I stated in my first blog I was going to quit my biggest loser challenge I created but decided not to. My friend and I talked about it and she told me I work best off of Challenges it’s what motivates me. I know this is about commitment and dedication but lets be honest here people without the motivation it’s pretty impossible to have that commitment and dedication for something at least in the beginning I’m sure once a routine hits it’ll become easier…but than once you start feeling that fall back, it’s not the thought of the commitment and dedication that get’s you rolling, it’s the motivation to do it. So yes techincally we are all right in this, I personally think you need all three to accomplish this.

It’s like every day you go into work at a job you hate, it has nothing to do with commitment and dedication. You hate the job, you can’t stand the people you are completely unhappy it’s what motivates you to go to that job, the paycheck. Because in the end you know you have to pay your bills, keep food and shelter over your head. It’s the same with weight loss you’re doing this to be healthy, to be fit to feel better about yourself. It takes every bit of your energy just to force yourself to do it.


Today’s workout: Tower Stair Climb!
Calorie intake Goal: 1500

You know you would think that climbing the 48 flights of 760 stairs would get easier each time, but they don’t and today I felt like crawling and giving up! I didn’t but really I hated every moment of it where it felt like my legs were going to give out. Not to mention being the last person always to get up to the top, but I need to remember it’s not a race. I’m doing this for myself, who care if people can do it 8 minutes and it takes me 15, as long as I do it…right?!

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dysfunctionalbarbie on Jan 22nd 2012 12:11 pm

So here’s my thing on Bikram Yoga…I kind of hated it, the wrong was over stuffed with people but I loved the fact i was down two pounds last night and even this morning I stayed at 165. Makes me very happy and now I’m only 5 pounds away from my mini goal and my Rebel Camera!

I’m a little sad this week because Hanson is coming to town yes the boys who we once thought the middle child was a girl and they sing MMMbop are coming! But every concert I went to was standing and this one is seated so I just don’t feel like going to a seated concert when all the other times I was so close to the stage! Plus I don’t really have the money, pay day isn’t until the 31st and I have no camera haha. I think those are pretty good excuses! 😛

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Bikram Yoga

dysfunctionalbarbie on Jan 21st 2012 10:05 am

So today is my first day I’m trying out Bikram Yoga with a friend. A studio is holding a free session today right where my second job is, so were going to try it out. Well I am with two friends who already do Yoga. I’m not sure how I feel about it really hot rooms tend to make me claustrophobic, but I would like to try something new and besides it’s a workout I usually wouldn’t get in on a Saturday!

I over ate my calories by 400 yesterday, which is find because I’m sure I worked some of that off when I did the stair climb at the tower. I’m not worried because today I’ll eat under my calories as well as tomorrow. Sometimes it’s good to change certain things some days with your body just shock it. I have done pretty good this week staying on track! I’m proud of myself.

I didn’t drop out of my biggest loser challenge that I created, I decided to keep going because it is what keeps me motivated when I have a challenge or up against people!

Goals today:

Drink a lot of water since I’ll be losing a lot in Yoga.

Stay under or right on calorie count today!

Win the weigh in tomorrow and beat the blue and green team! woot!

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I’m not giving up my carbs!

dysfunctionalbarbie on Jan 20th 2012 07:08 am

Weight: 167 (down 3)

Calories Consumed yesterday: 2260…

Yesterday’s Workout: Bob Harper’s Ultimate Cardio 40 minutes.


Which of course I probably should give up my carbs considering they were the majority of my calories yesterday, but you know what I’ve done this weight loss thing before eating regular food, without counting calories and just working out. I even did it last year! I think this time around though I want to see something different see how the mechanics of this whole thing work when we watch everything we put in our mouths and race to burn off as much of that as we can because we no longer want to be fat. Obviously the first time around with my weight loss I was young and thought of it as a diet. Last years weight loss I just utterly sabotaged myself of course with the help of the people around me. This year will be different. I say that because I learned what trigger’s me, why I do the things I do and it’s a new year a new days so why not start fresh.


I’m not saying this is going to be easy, learning from our destructive patterns and trying to fix them because we’ve been doing them so long will take years and even then we’re still not going to be perfect. I allow room for slip ups because I’m human and I’m going to slip up a lot. Like for instants yesterday I consumed 2260 calories, my daily goal is 1500. That’s a huge number to be over but it happens, and instead of dwelling on it, I’m counting it as my cheat day I give myself once a week. I did workout though, I did Bob Harper’s Ultimate Cardio of course I had to modify a lot of the leg moves because on Monday I did the Calgary tower stair climb (46 flights, 750 stairs up and down) then decided to push myself at the gym 30 minutes on the elliptical and 30 minutes on bike…not my smartest idea because for majority of the week I was out of commission I could hardly walk if I was lucky! My calves still hurt! But I’m able to not wobble as much! I can’t count how many calories I burned though, I can estimate 200 but since I don’t have a body bugg I really don’t feel like guessing.


 Anyone love doing workout videos? I personally used to love the Jillian Michael’s videos I do on days I want to do a quick workout in. The truth is though I could never stick out her whole 45 minute to 1 hour DVD’s I don’t know why…but with Bob Harper…my god if you want a workout do his Ultimate Cardio DVD. It is worth it!


Todays workout: Calgary tower stair climb! (46 flights 750 stairs) Up it and back down (about 30 minutes)

Todays Calorie goal: 1500

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