252.8 (Yeah, buddy!)

I did it! I’ve finally, officially, lost 10 lbs according to my home scale!!! It feels like I’ve finally passed the first hurdle, like if I can do this, I can totally keep losing 10 lbs at a time!

It’s doable. 🙂

I’m super exhausted, and I finally finished my homework. Going to be going to bed soon and passing out…tomorrow morning is another 4:45am wake up call for clinical. This weekend is a three day weekend (THANK YOU, LITTLE BABY JESUS) and will give me a chance to catch up on all the work I’ve been putting off.

253.4

Just kind of…trudging along in the 253’s without really budging. Maybe if I just don’t weigh myself for a few days but keep tracking my calories, maybe that will kick start me into going lower again. I’m going to try and hold off on weighing myself until Sunday (if I can). The goal was to get down to 249 this week, but at this point I’d be glad to be down to 251. Just…lower than what I’m at now.

I have a pharmacology exam tomorrow morning and I’m not sure if I’m worried about it or not. If I study the drug classes and examples a little more, I feel like I’ll be able to pass it without too much stress. We’re getting close enough to the end of the semester that I need to start generally studying more to prepare for the NCLEX. I wrote myself a decent list of notes with all the major points for the test tomorrow. When I lay down tonight, I’ll spend another 10-15min going over it again. This entire year has just been reading, reading, and more reading forever and ever.

Simon is buying me some white cheddar popcorn at HEB right now. I’m going to very carefully check the serving size and calories and pour myself exactly how much I can afford to eat calorie-wise this late at night and no more (despite how much I love it). SELF CONTROL.

253.6

So according to the doctor, I’ve lost a whole 10lb since the last time I went. YAAAAYYYY! After I told him about my quitting smoking in July, he said that it was no small miracle that I’ve managed to not only not gain weight but to lose as well! I went ahead and got some vitamins he recommended to take along with the medication, so we’ll see how well it works this time around. I also told him that I’m not always taking a full pill every day, just a half in the morning and sometimes a half in the afternoon depending on what I’ll be doing that day. He said it’s good that I’ve learned how to moderate my dose and pay attention to what my body tells me.

I’ve set my goal for the end of this week as 249lb. Ambitious, I know, but still…I feel good. I feel like it’s gonna be possible. Between the medication, vitamins, exercise and eating well I’ve got a really good shot at making it work this time around. I know I can do this!!!

253

Lowest weight since beginning dieting back in June! Yesssss. Really hoping to continue this trend…didn’t exercise today and while technically the food I ate wasn’t healthy at all today, it was within my allowed calories. Had a plate of chicken pesto pasta from La Madeleine along with a cup of potato soup with cheese and bacon. It came out to about 1000 calories (OMG), but with everything else I had today my total calories were only around 1200 for the day. Maybe tomorrow I’ll hit 252, in which I’ll have lost exactly 10lb! Not a whole lot, I know, but it would be a real morale boost for me to have hit a solid number.

Thank you little baby Jesus, the exam for tomorrow got pushed back to Tuesday! This means I’ll have all day tomorrow after class to study and I won’t need to be up till a God forsaken hour tonight to get ready. I read five out of the eleven chapters today, and bringing my book to class will let me study there as well. They’re supposed to give us a better review during class tomorrow which will definitely help.

Wish I had gone grocery shopping today but after my lunch of cream and pasta, my stomach was incredibly upset and I had to rush straight home to the comfort of my own bathroom. That didn’t exactly put me in a mood to leave the house again, so I don’t have a lot of healthy snacks of food at home right now. I do have a doctor’s appointment in the afternoon, though. Grocery shopping will have to wait until after that. I’m thinking snacks along the lines of some hard-boiled eggs and nuts, and some healthy salads to keep at home for lunch.

254.4

Didn’t do a whole lot today. Simon isn’t feeling well, so I’ve been playing nurse at home all day. He’s been pretty easy this time, usually he complains a lot more lol. He said I’m more confident now and seem like I know what I’m doing, which is good considering that I’ll be a nurse within another few months with any luck! I read a few chapters but not nearly enough. Need to read at least another one or two before I go to sleep tonight. I’ll have about six or seven that I’ll need to read tomorrow, plus an overview I’ll need to work through as well. Shouldn’t have stalled so much this week! I’ll do better this coming one.

Down 2 lbs since starting the cleanse and feeling pretty good about it. Hopefully I’ll be down a bit lower tomorrow morning. I’m hoping to be down at least 5 lbs by the end of it! Been trying harder to eat right and exercise at least a little, and today was the first day I broke my streak of working out at least every other day. I’ve also been doing really well on just drinking water and nothing else. The only non-water I’m regularly drinking is about a cup of orange juice in the morning to go with the fiber packet from the cleanse. Soda still tastes amazing but it feels like syrup in my mouth and throat now. Now I just need to work out my love of red meat and tacos and cheese and salty snacks and chocolate and wine and margaritas…./sigh.

None today!

Dunno what my weight is. I’m tired as hell today and I have to get up at 5am for clinicals tomorrow…was going to go workout today, but obviously that didn’t happen. I’m still technically on track for C25K for the week since today is a rest day so not too worried about it. Ate like crap, though. No breakfast, two slices of pizza for lunch, chicken salad sandwich for dinner. Could have been worse, could definitely have been way better.

Got my delivery from Amazon today, and I’m SOOOO excited! New Littman stethoscope (EEEEEEKKKKKK!!!), finally got my textbook for Mental Health, and I got all my supplies to do the Advocare 10 day herbal cleanse. I don’t plan on doing the full 24 day challenge but I feel like doing the cleanse again will help me get back into full weight-loss/healthy eating mindset.  Plus, I’ve been feeling kind of bloated and backed up (ugh) and it really helped get my gut into a healthy place last time I did it. Going to start it tomorrow morning!

I have a good feeling about this. It’s gonna be a good day tomorrow, and a very good 10 days for me! I’ll weigh myself tomorrow morning in order to get a starting weight and see how much I can lose on this.

256

Yay! Almost back down to where I was before. Going back to the gym tonight…thinking of going a little harder on the cardio on the days I do mostly strength training, but sticking to the elliptical instead of the treadmill. This way I can get the benefit of sweating out as much as I can without having the extra stress on my joints that doing C25K will be doing. With any luck, I’ll be down to 250 soon. I’m extra motivated because my financial aid came in and that means I can afford to buy myself some minor luxuries. I’ve decided that every time I lose 10 lbs I get something nice from Sephora, and every time I lose 5 lbs I get to buy something small from the makeup section at Target. This is assuming that I don’t lose weight too fast, or I might have to move everything to 10 and 15 lbs! Ha, one can only wish. What a problem to have!

Had problems getting my textbooks today at the bookstore, so I ordered the one I need now online and cleaned the kitchen instead of studying. Eventually I’ll make it to cleaning the bathroom! Someday. Bleh.

257.4 (Pt. 2)

Finished my first day of C25K and I only skipped one round of jogging versus walking! That’s progress, considering the last few times I’ve attempted to complete D1W1, I only make it to the halfway point before I just give up and walk the rest of the time. Cheers to just a little bit of will-power! Dinner went decently. Ate small helpings of refried beans, Mexican rice, and beef fajitas with some cheese on top; a large scoop of chocolate ice cream for dessert finished the whole meal off nicely. I should feel guilty about the ice cream and cheese but I just don’t! Instead, I just feel satisfied with myself and with my day today. I feel like I actually made decently good choices without trying too hard and it feels like I could keep this up forever if I needed to. Maybe weight loss is possible after all!

257.4

I’m never going to get this weight down! Good thing I’m about to be too busy to worry about it very much for the next few months. I start Mental Health tomorrow (YAAAYYY!!!), then it’s Maternity/Neonate and Peds, then finally Professional Development. After that, I’ll take a short break and take the NCLEX-PN by Christmas. Hopefully becoming a licensed nurse will be my Christmas present to myself. 🙂  I really am incredibly excited to be taking Mental Health for the next month. Psychology was my major, and I’m only about a year away from my Bachelor’s. To become a mental health nurse practitioner is the ultimate goal, so this next month will be thrilling!

Tonight I need to get ready for tomorrow, so I’ll need to take off and make a few stops as soon as Simon gets home. Gym (just a short C25K workout), then HEB (I accidentally ate Simon’s lunch for tomorrow, but he didn’t tell me he got it for himself! lol), and finally to Office Depot to print out my syllabuses and get some basic school supplies for the next month.

It’s a little disappointing that I didn’t get the apartment as clean as I wanted over the last week but it still does look pretty nice. The only room I didn’t get to at all is the bathroom, but I organized the counter so it’s not a terrible tragedy. Just have to get it done this week!

Ehhhh…a little better.

So I’m doing a little better today. Weight had shot up to 258.8 (UUUGGGGHHHHHHHHHH), so I worked out hard the last two days and as of this morning it’s down to 257. I feel like I’m just going to perpetually float up and down the 250’s and never make it out. Something needs to change. I need to change.

I need to actually focus on my weight loss efforts. I keep sabotaging myself when I make it down to a new low and it’s really making me frustrated and kind of angry with myself. It’s hard to stay positive when I feel like it’s the most impossible thing in the world! I think deep down, I still don’t really believe that I’ll ever really be able to lose all the weight.

Small changes need to happen first. I’m doing pretty good on drinking mostly water, but I need to stop eating so late at night and making sure I have healthy snacks on hand during the day. Also, I need to develop a regular workout schedule through the week that utilizes a good mix between strength and cardio training.