bits of string and sealing wax

my quest to achieve a balanced life

can coffee be they key? sure, why not? April 15, 2012

Filed under: Life, The Universe, And Everything — didibuttonsley @ 4:29 pm

Remember in my last post when I mentioned sashaying around in front of the mirror naked?  Well, I just have to tell you that it is seriously fun, and I think that you should try it.  Embellish the sashays with sound effects and whistling for extra fun.  It is in the seventies today, but rainy, so something in the air combined with the humidity is making the nakee-time hip circles extra sultry.  Good god, I am such a freaky deaky girl.

Oh, and ya know how I mentioned that I was reuniting myself with black cups of coffee?  Because healthy size me always drank black coffee cause she was totally in love with it?  Well, I don’t know what it is exactly that happens when I have one or two cups a day, but I feel like I am literally transforming.  I believe that much of it is tied into my self script, and the beliefs that I had about myself for the last six years.

I ceased coffee drinking six years ago because I was attempting to enforce rigid rules in order to improve my health.  My health was actually quite good, but suddenly I thought that I needed to be much thinner than I was.  My weight at the time was healthy and easy to maintain, but I got it in my head that I ought to weigh twenty five pounds less.  I suddenly got it in my mind that there was such a thing as a BAD food/ beverage.  It was at that time that in my mind I decided that I could only be healthy if I ate certain foods and ceased touching many others that I labelled as bad and forbidden.  It was after enforcing all these stupid rules that I gained about sixty pounds.  It was after imposing rules upon myself and thinking that I was too fat that I actually became too fat because I was bingeing on forbidden foods.  I was not fat when I made up all of those rules for myself, but it seems that I made myself fat to prove to myself that the negative beliefs I had about myself were true.

So I am not saying that drinking a cup or two of coffee a day is going to help anybody else drop any extra pounds.  What I am saying is that somehow coffee is tied in with deep beliefs about myself and my weight.  It is a symbol of a false belief that only through sacrifice and self denial can I ever become healthy.

Interesting.  Very interesting.


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