bits of string and sealing wax

my quest to achieve a balanced life

beer bloat is a bitch August 29, 2011

Filed under: Life, The Universe, And Everything — didibuttonsley @ 12:55 pm

Hey gang.  I just wanted to let you know that I’m still alive.  I am leaving Sarasota tomorrow to head for Clermont.  I may be in Gainesville Wednesday and Thursday, and might still go to Georgia for labor day weekend, but I’m not sure about that stuff yet.  I am financially D-E-S-T-I-T-U-T-E.  I really ought to get my butt home and get to work or I’m gonna have to sell a kidney on the black market.  I wish I could sell my belly fat.  Ooh, and my arm fat.  Is there much of a market for belly and arm fat?  What back alley do I need to hang ’round to find out about the seedy underbelly of the blubber trade?  (Get it… underbelly… hahahahahah, aren’t I just the cleverest cookie in the jar?)

So my scale got packed before I did a weigh in, and I can’t tell you what my final weight was at the end of my detox.  (it was at 187 last time I weighed)  What I can tell you is that I am feeling really satisfied and happy with my progress, and I am totally proud of myself.  I fit into my 16 shorts again, and that pretty much rocks.  I am also at a point where I feel… you know… HUMAN again.  I mean, yeah, I have more to let go of, but I’ve been feeling pretty sexy lately.  I got chunk, boys, but you know you wanna chase it.  Come on, ladies, make him chase the chunk.  (I totally stole that from 30 Rock, gads, I lubs that show)

My self talk has gotten a lot more positive, and I’ve been viewing myself very differently.  I am treating myself better.  Yay Me!

As far as food goes I did just fine while Chris was here, but we went to Mad Crow Brewery on Thursday.  God help me, I just can’t turn down a good beer.  And that place has good beer!  The food is good too if any of you gals are ever in the Sarasota area and are looking to screw up your diets.  On Friday we went to the beach, and I took him to The Old Salty Dog for lunch… and we got a pitcher of beer.  Then we walked around for a while, and goofed around at the Super Target.  On our way out of Target Chris noticed that there was a Total Wine and More, and insisted on bringing me in there.  I’ve never been inside one of those things before.  It was flippin amazing!

Here are some fun factoids about the Deedster that you may or may not know: I LOVE booze.  Good wine, good beer, good scotch (Laphroig, please), good gin, and good absinthe (which can’t be found in the states… grrrrrr… gotta order it from Europe) just take me out at the knees.  Maybe cause sometimes I have a bit too much of it. Total Wine has good everything (apart from the absinthe) and I felt like a kid in a candy store.  A candy store that destroys your liver.  You can mix and match single bottles of beer to create your own six pack.  We couldn’t resist.  I drank so much beer between Thursday and Sunday.  Needless to say today I am feeling slightly bloated, and can tell I am retaining water.  If I had to guess my weight today I’d guess 190, but it will be back down again in a few days so it isn’t a big deal.

Whoa.  I can’t believe I just typed that.  Seriously.  That is how I really feel though.  It isn’t a big deal.  It’s just weight, and in another five months I’ll be back to my natural size.  No.  Big.  Deal.  WOOOOOT WOOOOT!

Once I am back in Wisconsin I am going to do another detox.  I think I will do one a month until I reach my natural size.  I don’t have a problem maintaining, but I totally don’t have the patience for the half pound to one and a half pound a week loss.  I’m ready to fit into all of my old clothing and get busy living!  I lose about ten pounds during a detox, and it would be more if I could get into a better workout routine.  I want you guys to get on my case about working out.  I need kicks to the ass.  Many of them.

So yesterday my roommate, cuntzilla Jen, stuck LJ and I with ALL the cleaning.  She made elaborate lists with boxes for check marks and stuck them on the fridge.  Yeah.  And pretty much all she did was move out all of her stuff.  They did take a bunch of unwanted furniture to goodwill, and that was nice, but still.  LJ got here right as I was about to explode in fury.  Thank God.  Oh, and the delectable cherry on top of this steamy shit pie is that as she was backing out of the driveway to leave she hit my car.  Hit. My. Damn. Car.  That part actually didn’t even upset me.  My Eli and I love each other madly, but he has dings in him anywhoozles, and he also has 100,900 miles on him.  He doesn’t look that old, and drives great now that we got a new clutch put in him.  Buuuuuut, it was just the combination of everything.  I couldn’t even get mad at her.  I was just like… is this really happening?  Am I being punished by the gods for drinking so much beer this weekend?

So now I am waiting for the landlord to show up @ 5-5:30 to get my security deposit.  I think bitchface Jen should give me her part of the deposit for jackin up the passenger side of my baby, and for not cleaning a GD thing.  GRRRR.  She should be here now, but I think she wants to show up last minute in case there is any cleaning left.  There are little things, but I’m going to wipe down the counters and that’s it.


the dumbest thing i ever did (volume one) August 24, 2011

Filed under: Life, The Universe, And Everything — didibuttonsley @ 3:21 pm

(I’ll weigh in tomorrow, because today is the last day of my detox)

Yesterday Jewlz commented on my post with a story about a doggy poo mishap.  It made me think of something that happened years ago (maybe four?), and I thought that I should share it.  It is one of the many incredibly stupid things that I have done in the 28 year span of my colorful life.  Which brings me to my next point.  Since I have done so many retarded and kinda funny things over the years, why not share them with the whole world?  (Or at least the blogging world)  This stuff defies all sense and logic, and, let’s face it, I just should have known better.

Ok.  Part one of “dumbest things I’ve ever done.”

I had a chow/ golden retriever mix I named Cimarron Bimble (of the hills and the valleys).  I adopted him from the Humane Society when he was five or six months old.  He had been found living near the side of a highway with another female dog of the same age (they assumed it was his sister).  It was during the dead of winter and the two dogs had dug out a sort of snow cave in a large drift near the road.  As soon as I brought him home I realized that it had been a looooong time since he had been in a house.  He was surprised by everything!  He didn’t know how to manage stairs, was baffled by running water, and the toilet, and just looked shocked about everything in the house.  (It was quite comical, really)

Unfortunately, this also meant that he had absolutely zero training and was ONE HUNDRED PERCENT not house broken.  It took a lot of work to both train and housebreak Cimarron.  Once he learned things he was great, but those first three months were HELLA tough.

About six to eight weeks after I got him he was getting pretty good with the housebreaking stuff to the point where we were no longer having daily incidents in the house.  One night we ordered pizza hut, and got a meat lover’s pizza.  At the end of the evening there were three smaller slices left over.  I didn’t want to save them, but I don’t like throwing food away.  So what did I do?  I bet you can guess.  I plopped them into Cimmy’s bowl, and he wolfed them down with glee.  A bit after that we went outside for the final time before bed, and then I hit the sheets.

Sometime in the wee hours of the morning I vaguely remember Cimarron trying to wake me up.  Unfortunately for both of us, once I am sleeping it is very hard for me to wake up again.  I must have fallen asleep again, and I guess he gave up.

When I woke up later the first thing I realized was that he wasn’t in my room.  I sleep with my door closed (and locked), but he was gone.  The door was closed, however, there is a small circular hole that was cut into the door long ago to allow the cats in and out of my bedroom.  (When I got Pipkin @ ten years old his litter box was in my room)  I figured that something must have made Cimarron desperate enough to squeeze through that hole.  He wasn’t full grown yet, or he wouldn’t have fit through at all.

So here’s what went down.  After squeezing his way out of my room he ran down the stairs and into the bathroom.  I will never know what possessed him, but he jumped into the bathtub and had explosive diarrhea all over in there.  My guess is that he thought he’d get in big trouble if he made a mess in my room, but the bathroom…?  Did he think that the tub clean up would be the easiest for me?  I just don’t know.  After crapping his brains out in the tub he then went to the back door and vomited his poor doggy head off.

The real funny thing about this story is that my dad came by the house before I woke up.  He’s the poor sucker that cleaned all of the mess up.  When I came downstairs he said, “What in the hell did you feed that poor dog?”  (He’s got a sense of humor so he was laughing about it when he told me what had happened)

I felt so horrible for my poor doggy.  (He was all better by that point) I told Dad about the three slices of meat lovers pizza.

He shook his head sadly.

Ah, me.

and here is the handsome boy with his tummy facing the sky. Cimarron is now four (four and a half?) and lives with my friend, Amanda, in Milwaukee


Roommates: Lessons In Hilarity August 23, 2011

Filed under: Life, The Universe, And Everything — didibuttonsley @ 9:14 am

My weight is 188.2 today, and I am still feeling bloated, but it isn’t as bad as yesterday.  I am going to continue chugging water, because it definitely helped.

A couple of the comments on one of my recent posts (you know, the one where I am whining like a damn mule about the folks that I live with) got me laughing and thinking about all the funny things people I have lived with have done.  I’ve lived with fifteen different people, not including my parents and brother.  Most have been alright, some have been superb, and a few were simply agony.  Allow me to share some stories with you lovely peeps.

One lovely midsummer morning I sprang out of bed (and by sprang out of bed I mean half rolled half sludged myself out of bed all bleary and puffy eyed) and skipped gracefully down the stairs (and by skipped gracefully I mean trundled wearily like a half dead semi zombie on a quest for brains).  I went into the living room where my roommate, Alissa, was watching Sponge Bob Square Pants on dvd.  We exchanged greetings and I was sort of standing next to the couch in my morning daze, and I sort of looked over to the chair and a half (which is pretty much the size of a loveseat), and it was sort of covered in vomit.  I was horrified.  I stammered, “What the… why is… how come…?”  Ah yes, I am incredibly articulate in the morning hours.  Finally I was able to ask her “Why is there puke all over?”

I couldn’t have written her a funnier response.  I know that now.  At the time I was so boggled I wanted to just say “fuck my life” and go join the Hari Krishnas, but when I look back… Ahhh, when I look back it is only with fondness.

“Oh,” She said, suddenly snapping into awareness.  “Well, Mickey puked earlier and I didn’t know what you would want to do about it.”  Mickey is her cat.  I stood there staring.  Is this real?  Am I being filmed on some kind of television program right now?  Ok. Ok. Ok. Remain calm.

I looked at her.  I looked at the puke.  I looked at her.  And back to the puke, “… what I would do about it…?”I said in despair, wishing that I had stayed in bed.  “I’m pretty sure that I would clean it up.  Yes.  That is what I would do.”  And that is what I did.  I cleaned it up, and she kind of watched half guilty-like, because I think she realized just how fucking stupid ridiculous the situation suddenly was.  (Alissa was not a bad roommate- just to throw that out there)  Come on.  If a cat pukes on the furniture there’s really only one solution to the problem, right?

<——– (it’s going to be my turn next)

(Ooh, another story involving a roommate’s cat!  The legacy continues…)  So one evening a couple of artist friends of mine stopped by with a six pack or two and their art supplies.  I had my sewing stuff spread out on one end of the table, and had a pile of skirts that needed to be hemmed on the bottom.  (Before I moved to Florida I was selling skirts at a friends’ store)  The guys were going to work on some art while I sewed, and we were going to chat and have a few beers in the process.

Wellllll, my roommate, Sam (who I love dearly, but we were both batshit crazy at that time and going through rough times) had this little white cat called Yeti.  Sammy didn’t bother spaying Yeti until she moved out of my house.  On that particular eve Yeti happened to be in heat.  Oh there is nothing quite so mood enhancing as an indoor cat in heat, is there?  When Yeti was in heat she would cry, and if there were any men around she’d rub her ass end all over their legs.  It was like the actions of a drunk, insecure, and desperate woman.  For realsies.  I felt embarrassed for Yeti.

So she was rubbing up on things, and people, and just generally being a nuisance, and at some point my friend, Dan, said, “Maybe I should just get Yeti drunk and make all of her dreams come true.”  I laughed and said he was sick, and didn’t think anything more of it.

Shortly after that he realized he had forgotten his brushes, so I went to ask Sam if he could use some of hers.  She was in her room.  I was standing in there, and noticed that she was acting strangely, but I asked for the brushes amiably enough.  She looked at me.  Oh shit, I thought.  Here it comes.  The day wouldn’t be complete unless she got mad at me over something.

And then in a stern and angered voice she said, “He can use the brushes, but YOU need to have your friends be more respectful.  I don’t ever want to hear that kind of talk about my cat again.”  Major emphasis on the “you.”  Because, in case you didn’t realize, I have absolute control over all of the people around me.  It’s sort of like my super hero power.  Everything that is said by others I scripted out earlier in the day.

As in the last story, I stood there half shocked and disbelieving and then exercised my famous Didi-stammer, “Are… are… are… ya-you joking, or are you serious?”

She thrust the paintbrushes at me, and I took them, slowly backing out of the room.  You do not turn your back on a crazed animal.  I backed out of the door.  “It was a joke, it was just a joke about a cat, and she doesn’t speak English anyway…” I offered lamely.

There is no reasoning with mad people once the cheese has fallen from the cracker though.  Sometimes situations are so baffling that I can actually feel portions of my brain melting into tapioca just to escape having to deal with them.

So one of my all-time favorite roommates was my cousin, Dan.  We have lived together on three separate occasions over the years, the last time being the few months after he moved back from Florida and I was about to move to Florida.  He was the one looking after my house for the last year, and he just returned to Florida now that I am going back to Wisconsin.  It’s funny how we swap!

So this one night it was pretty late and we were hungry and it was slim pickings in the kitchen.  We were rooting around in the cabinets and fridge, and nothing was looking too promising.  There were some leftover mashed potatoes in a bowl.  I pulled the bowl out and we looked down at it.  Perhaps with combined staring forces we could transform the bowl into mashed potatoes, gravy, stuffing, and mac ‘n cheese.

“Hey, have you ever made potato pancakes before?” He asked, looking a bit excited about it.

“You mean, fuckin’ latkes?  No, I never have.  I don’t think mashed potatoes are involved in the process though.” I shrugged and laughed.

“Well, duh, I know that.  But here in Uncle Dan’s kitchen we do a little thing called improv!”  And at that point he pulled a ridiculous face and began to grab spices out of the cabinet.  Upon further examination of the leftover potatoes we decided that they were too thick and congealed to form proper pancakes.  There wasn’t any milk left in the house and I suggested thinning them out with water.

Dan was busy salting the bowl of cold potatoes that was swiftly becoming his somewhat frightening creation, and heating the cast iron pan over the burner.  He smiled impishly, “I think we should use some beer.”

Who am I to argue with the master chef?  The sou chef must abide by Master’s wishes.  I grabbed a PBR out of the fridge and slid it down the counter top.  The amount of laughter going on steadily increased to a low roar.  He deftly popped the top open and splashed in a generous blast of shitty beer while rapidly stirring the glop with a random spoon.

I’d like to say the sizzle of a dollop of beer, spices, and leftover potatoes mashed into a patty was inviting, but I’d be lying like a politician.  The smell alone would have been enough to gag a cat… possibly even a maggot.  The “pankcakes” were… uh… browned in the skillet to perfection.  Dan flipped them onto a plate and I wrinkled my nose and took a step backwards.  I knew I wasn’t brave enough to taste that shit.

He lifted the plate and took a big hearty bite.  His eyes grew wide with horror.  “Oh.  My.  God.”  Was all he could manage to say as he dashed to the garbage can and started spitting “Uncle Dan’s Homemade Latke’s” into the trash.  I couldn’t stop laughing.  I thought I was going to pee.  “My, GOD, dude, that was horrible.  That stuff was sooo fuckin’ bad,” he said and then desperately took a large chug of soda.

I think we ordered pizza from Derango’s after that.

Ok. Three amusing roommate tales.  You all should share one if you have one!

I better get my butt off of the computer.  I need to work out, and probably pack some more stuff.  I don’t know if I’m going to clean any more.  I might if I am bored.  I definitely did more than my share yesterday though, so I really don’t feel obligated.

Oh- and I am finally getting my car back tomorrow.  THANK GOD!  It cost about 800 less than I had anticipated, so all in all it’s a good day.


two posts in one day? August 22, 2011

Filed under: Life, The Universe, And Everything — didibuttonsley @ 3:55 pm

Yes.  Two posts in one day. DON’T JUDGE ME!!!  I haven’t had a car for days and days!

After getting off earlier I packed two bags up with clothing, and then decided that if I didn’t start cleaning immediately I would loose interest.  I scrubbed the whole bathroom, and cleaned the walls.  Then I moved on to the kitchen and cleaned the oven, the cabinets, the refrigerator, both ceiling fans in there, and the rest of the room.  By the time I finished with all that shite many hours had passed, and I was sort of over my spree.  The freezer will have to wait until tomorrow as will the living room.  If the roommates make a mess before Sunday I have no intention of cleaning again.  Today and tomorrow are officially my final cleaning efforts in this home.

If I get my car back tomorrow I might not even bother with the living room or the freezer.  I did all the major stuff today, so they can do the laundry room, living room and freezer.  We’ll see how I feel about it tomorrow.  I may just finish bagging up the remains of my room so that when my car is back I can toss everything in right away.  Cross your fingers that I can get my car tomorrow!!!  I really really really really really want to go to the beach.

Even though my weight is down another pound (from the other day) I feel very bloated today.  Ug.  I am going to just keep slamming water and hope that it goes away by tomorrow.  My fricken period keeps coming late, and of course this had to be the one time that the ginger tea and parsley trick doesn’t work for me.  What the shizzle?  So even though I’m down a pound my face looks puffier and I feel flat out nasty.  Isn’t being bloated the worst shit ever?


(lack of) activity and some complaining

Filed under: Life, The Universe, And Everything — didibuttonsley @ 6:01 am

It is quarter to eight in the a.m. right now, and I have been awake since five.  I thought I could fall asleep again, but that didn’t work out, so here I am.  I am trying to convince myself to put my gym clothes on and work out.  Unfortunately I still haven’t fallen back into a work out groove, so every friggin’ day it’s like a battle.  I don’t know why my brain fights it so much either.  Once I start my workouts I really love them, and I feel so great afterwards.  (I’ve given away any and all dvds that I don’t care for, because I am completely against doing workouts that I hate)

I have been attempting to do the winsor pilates upper body sculpting (gettin’ rid of them damn fatty arms) every day.  You can find it on You Tube if anybody is interested.  Although there are a couple of things I can’t do I still like it, & it’s only twenty two minutes long.  The intention is to do it every day and the reality is that I’ve done it twice a week for the last three weeks.  Yeah, I can tell a slight difference, but there is no reason why I can’t at the very least do this workout every other day.  Wait!  There is a reason!  I’m a sloth like lump of laziness and I spend too much time putzing around on the computer… Ideally I wish to do my arm workout followed by the Jane Fonda, and then before bed I will do Hemalaaya.  Yes.  This is my dreamland scenario that I haven’t managed to execute terribly well yet.

The main problem:  When I wake up if I do not exercise immediately the likelihood of me doing it later is pretty slim.  In fact, it is two out of seven.  I have not been making myself hop to it right away, so no routines are sticking.  I wake up and think “I better get to workin’ out.”  And then I hesitate and think about checking my messages, reading all the blogs and commenting, writing a new post, looking for new places on craig’s list, and blah blah blah blah.  I am doing it right now.  I’ve been doing that stuff for the last hour and a half!

Yesterday I was stir crazy without my car, and wanted to go to the beach very badly.  It is quick to get there in a car, but the walk would take an hour.  That wouldn’t be a big deal, however, it has been pouring here frequently and I don’t wish to walk an hour home in the rain.  Blerg!!!  I really hope the mechanic calls me today and tells me that I can pick my car up tomorrow.  I was pacing around outside and inside the house on the phone (I am all about pacing when I am on the phone), and the walls seemed to close in.  Yipes.

I need to pack the rest of my things so that I can toss them into my car (when I get him back).  Most of it is clothing and some books, as the rest of my things have already been sent home.  It should only take an hour.  I need to clean my room, and the bathroom, and tidy up the rest of the house as well.  Chris is going to be here on Thursday, so everything needs to be done because I’ll be leaving this place when he does.  I was really hoping that my roommates would be out of here for his visit, but that isn’t going to happen.  LJ and her girlfriend, Charlotte, were going to leave this weekend, but are still here.  Le sigh.  And the annoying one that I don’t like, Jen, has barely been here all month but will be here that weekend.  She has waited until the last possible second to move/pack anything.  I have a feeling she’ll want me to hang around and clean (I do 95 percent of the cleaning in this house, and it is always pretty clean) that weekend, but that’s just too damned bad.  I will clean everything that I can and she’ll have to do the final touches with LJ.  I am going to scrub out the fridge later, and clean up my cupboard area.  I should stop writing about Jen because thinking about her annoys me.

I am really glad that I will soon be living with people who share everything, and don’t want to call a house meeting if we run out of toilet paper.  You might be laughing at the ridiculousness of the toilet paper meeting, but I am not kidding.  While Jen was in Brazil, Emily, LJ, and I simply took turns buying toilet paper.  We didn’t need to ever talk about it or make a fuckin’ pie chart- it was common sense. Oh, I didn’t buy the last two packs and we are out so that means it is my turn.  Geez.  How hard is that to figure out?  Well, the first time we ran out when Jen was here she went and bought some and then stuck a receipt for toilet paper on the refrigerator.  When LJ and I got home, naturally we never noticed the stupid thing, so Jen brought it up in conversation.  Jen is control freaky and nit picky and worrisome, but she likes to pretend that she is this earthy free spirited type of person.  That sort of personality type is one that drives me the most bonkers.  Please don’t pretend to be spiritually advanced when you are constantly harping on others about what they ought to be doing.  Yuck.  A girl in my class named Michelle is like that, only to the power of ten.  It is such a phoney baloney way to be.  Anyway, so she’s taking a really long time talking about the division of the toilet paper cost, and LJ and I are just kind of staring in disbelief.  Is this chick for fuckin’ real?  We told her that we just took turns buying it, and that was that.

She also only pays 200 in rent here, while I pay 300, and LJ 400.  We didn’t realize that she was paying 200 until recently, and it was not a welcomed discovery.  Her room is the smallest, and when she moved in here two or three years ago she moved in with her friends Kevin and Julia (who were dating at the time).  They all agreed to the rent numbers.  That’s fine and all, but after they moved out and she got new roommates she should have realized an adjustment needed to be made.  Her room is the smallest but our decent sized laundry room is pretty much her walk in closet, and she has her office set up in our entrance way.  That gives her the same amount of space as me, sooooooo…

This blog has taken a turn towards bitchin’ and moanin’, but I think I will run with it.  I’m not in a bad mood or anything, but I could use a venting session.  🙂  I loved living here before Emily moved out, but after she left and Jen got back it’s been mediocre and kind of a let down.

Things I won’t miss: I haven’t liked living in a place where people label all of their food items.  That seems really really weird to me.  Sharing grocery bills cuts costs, so it puzzles me when people are all food stingy.  Jen has bizarre, nervous, and insecure energy, and I won’t miss being around that at all.  I like LJ but I don’t feel close to her, and I would rather live with friends that I click with really well.  I don’t like that I couldn’t have my pets here.  I do 95 percent of the dishes and the cleaning, and since Emily left Jen took the garbage out once, and LJ took it out once.  (Emily and I always did it together)  If I had let the place get messier they would have eventually cleaned, but I don’t like mess in shared living spaces.  Basically I didn’t like living with Jen and that sums everything up nicely.  The end.  I guess I’ll never have to see her again once I am gone, so whatevs.

She must have come home last night.  I can hear her lumbering around in the kitchen with her constantly dinging phone.  Ug.

Things I look forward to about my next living situation:  All groceries will be shared, and we are going to cook together a lot.  Meals will be eaten at the table with no distractions.  Yay!  I can have my pets.  She doesn’t get worked up about toilet paper bills.  We plan on working out together.  She’s always up for taking walks and going to parks and such.  Decorating will be fun because our tastes are similar.  When I leave town somebody will be around to take care of my critters.  There are other things too, but I need to wrap this up so that I can work out (which I AM going to do) and start cleaning and throwing clothing into bags.

Say, I need y’all to yell motivational things at me that will get my ass in gear as soon as I wake up in the morning.  For realsies.  Tell me to stop being lazy.


new stuff August 21, 2011

Filed under: Life, The Universe, And Everything — didibuttonsley @ 3:40 pm

Yesterday I woke up feeling bloody horrible.  I was pretty much upset all frocking day, and felt like an emotional wreck.  I swear, when I let things get to me I really go all out.  It seems that I am either chipper or it is the end of the world and all shall parish.  Yup… not a lot of middle ground there.  I’m not sure if I am hormonal because my is period is due any day now, or if it is because of the detox, or perhaps one of the planets was aligned just right and sending crazy beams through the hole I had drilled in my skull some years ago, but I was flat out miserable.  All I wanted to do was cry, but I couldn’t.  I often have a tough time crying, unless of course I happen to be in my car.  My car is like my safe haven for spouting waterfalls from my eyeballs.  Unfortunately I still don’t have my car back, so a car cry wasn’t an option.  BOO!

I’ve cried in my car so hard that I couldn’t see and had to pull over.  Those kinds of meltdowns are so good for letting go of emotions though.  Dang, I sure could have used some of that yesterday.  My heart was just ACHING.

Today I am much better.  I chatted with my future roommate about some places that we are going to check out, and by “we” I mean that she is going to go see them and send me pictures if she likes them.  We don’t need to rush or anything, but I would prefer to have a place and be settled as soon as possible.  Honestly, if I can move out of my house and into a new place the day I get back I will be happy.  If it takes a little longer I suppose I can manage that too.

I also made two lists this morning.  One is a list of alternate things to do whenever I feel like eating even though I am not hungry.  I got the idea from munchberry’s blog.  Check out her blog on my blogroll, because she seriously cracks me the hell up.  If you’d like to examine this list for yourself it is up there in my pages under “Don’t Stuff Your Face.”  Go on.  You know you wanna read that shit.  The second list I made is a bunch of stuff that I like about myself.  Both lists were pretty fun to create, and you guys might want to make some lists for yourselves.  I wanted to have them handy the next time I turn into an emo whiney pants bizznitch, so that I can read them and hopefully cheer myself up.  The other list is also up in pages and is titled “My Paunch Is Jiggly But I Still Deserve Love.”  Ahhhh, truer words were never typed.

Since I was already adding pages I created a new one to store my dreamboards in.  There are currently the two I made before, and I made a new one today, but I can’t get it to save as a jpeg for some reason.  It saves as a file and will open under the photo gallery, but I can’t figure out how to save it as a picture to get it into my photobucket.  Sometimes I wish I was better with computer stuff, but I suppose a person can be great at only so many things. Ok. Weird.  I just figured it out due to a random thought popping into my head.  I saved it without changing the name of the file, and for some reason that made a difference.  Whatevs.  Here it is for you all to oogle at.

I am just crazy about making these dreamboards!  It really gets my positive happy vibes flowing because I am a visual gal.  (Make your own at the Oprah site -signing up only takes a second – @

And here is an explanation starting with the upper left hand corner:  The canopy over the bed represents having a lovely dreamy bedroom. This doesn’t look anything like what I have in mind, but that is the canopy that I will be purchasing though I will dye mine a pretty color.  There are seven cookbooks from my amazon wishlist on this dream board and they are meant to represent abundance, and also are there because I want to cook a lot of shared meals over the next year with friends and such.  Now that I am not obsessive and crazy about food, and am eating in a normal and balanced way, I would love to just go balls to the wall and cook up a storm five nights a week.  I’d like to do a lot of crockpot cooking as I have two nice crockpots and several vegetarian crockpot cookbooks (I also wish to get one with meat items in it as well), and I will be sharing grocery bills again.  More people in the house means that I can cook in large quantities! Yay!  I also intend to to get a bamboo steamer basket and do a lot of cooking with steam.  And yeah, I want to learn how to make ice cream.  The best ice cream flavors that I have ever had are not sold in stores, so I’ll learn to make them myself. Ok, there are also three images of couples and this is for true love and all that jazz.  Once again I stuck in seven crystals because I’m going to sell oodles of those things.   I threw in images of the coat I wish to have custom made, and some other outfits I’d like to purchase.   The hedgehog is the image on my etsy shop banner, because my store is going to do well in the next year.  I’ve got music, adventures, lovely homes, and sweet dreams going on in there as well.  That super cool elephant is there to remind me to try new things even if I look ridiculous and awkward.  Herrrrrumph.  The right side (elephant included) will be covered by my widgets until I post my next blog.  Oh well.

So that is that.

I also cleaned up my blogroll this morning and added some newbies to the list.  Check them out and say hello.  All of us were newbies once ourselves!!


help! August 19, 2011

Filed under: Life, The Universe, And Everything — didibuttonsley @ 2:36 pm

And can anybody tell me why the stupid site meter wont show up at the right?  It has the logo, and that’s it. GRRRRRRRR.  I’ve given up on changing the dumb picture for my comments. Oooh. Yay. I finally figured it out.

Hey, does anybody know how to change the little pic that shows up whenever I post a comment on somebody else’s blog?  I have been looking through everything, and can’t find a way to update my picture.  I suppose it isn’t super important, but that picture is one of me when I weigh 22 pounds more, so I would like to change it.  🙂  Thanks!


feelin’ fine. more than fine. i am fantastic!

Filed under: Life, The Universe, And Everything — didibuttonsley @ 9:27 am

My weight this morning was 190.4 which means that I have lost 4.4 pounds in three days.  Actually, it’s more like two and a half days because I weighed myself at nearly midnight on the sixteenth.  Wow.  I am one happy little twerp at the moment, and I’m lookin awfully cute in this dress that I dyed burgundy/wine yesterday.  The reason that I wanted to hop on the scale this morning is because late last night I looked at my face in the mirror and noticed that my cheekbones and chin looked very defined, and the extra chin that I’ve been dragging around all these years was suddenly nearly gone.  OH MY GOD!  I am so excited right now that I want to dance around the house with glee!!!!  I now only have 27.4 pounds to lose before I am my old size.  I almost feel like crying.  I’ve lost 25 pounds and am almost half way to my milestone goal.  It’s just such a feeling of accomplishment.  I mean, sure, I am still carrying extra weight, but I’ve worked so hard and in the past several months am finally realizing that I am totally beautiful RIGHT NOW even with the extra fluff.

I might not be perfect, but who is?  I think ALL of us should make a list of twenty things we love about ourselves.  Let’s face it- we’re all pretty fricken great.  The world is lucky to have us.  My list will go up in my pages section if anybody wants to read it.  It’ll be nice to peruse the list on days that I am feeling blue.

Dang am I ever glad I followed my instincts and decided to do a round of the master cleanse.  Today is day six, and I am really feeling fantastic.  I’ve been spending a ton of time thinking over my relationship with food/eating (of course! been doing this for months), and how I have used food as a replacement for positive relationships and as a way of sheltering myself from the outside world.  Who knows what has been happening to me in the five months since I have moved to Sarasota, but my psyche has certainly made a shift for the better.  I’ve finally stopped dreading “food battles,” and I no longer worry about turning into a ravenous beast at restaurants and family gatherings.  Now when there is the slightest inkling of a desire to overeat I am able to step back from the situation and realize what is really going on.  Instead of overeating by leaps and bounds every single day to the point where I am stuffed and totally uncomfortable and can’t even breathe properly, I find that I’ll overeat just a little bit at one meal perhaps once a week.  And when the desire to snack is too strong for me to ignore I now snack on celery, baby carrots, mushrooms, and cherry tomatoes.  I think I can live with that!!

Way back when I first moved to Florida I was shopping at Target.  I went past the bras and there were two really cute ones that I loved (same bra, one was navy blue with polka dots and the other was red with polka dots) but they did not have them in a size 42C.  (Target and Walmart carry 42C bras, but not a lot of them and there isn’t much variety.  I’ve been getting flustered for a long time knowing that if only I could get down to a 40C I’d have a lot more options while bra shopping) They did, however, have both bras in a 40C, so I decided to buy them both secure in the knowledge that at some point in the future I’d be wearing them.  Guess what?  THE FUTURE IS TODAY!  I just gleefully threw a bunch of my crappy walmart bras away, and am wearing a 40C bra that fits perfectly.  Walmart bras are good for a few wears, but then they get all stretched out and don’t give the pups any lift at all.  I’ve only been buying bras from Walmart because I am losing weight and don’t want to throw away money. 38C was my bra size before I fattened up like a prize heifer at the state fair, and I certainly look forward to getting back to that size.  Every dang place has plenty of 38C bras.  I will no longer need to head to Lane Bryant just to do bra shopping.  Lane Bryant clothing NEVER fit me right- the sleeves were always strange and puffed out and boxy.  Torrid clothing is the same way on me.  All of it looks cut all wrong and completely bizarre.  I used to get so bummed out about it!

I also am now fitting into a size 16 dress that I bought (it was pink plaid, but I dyed it yesterday and now it is purple plaid) when I first moved to Sarasota, and some size 16 capris that I had that were cut into jean shorts.  SCORE!  No more size 18 for this kid!  I can say from the depths of my heart that I know I will NEVER have to wear a size 18 ever again.  Whew.  I’m glad I shook all those pounds of stored up pain off.

My only mixed thoughts about weight loss at this point involve being uncertain about what my natural size is.  I was happy as a 12, but even during all those years I would binge and didn’t eat that well.  I decided to set a size ten as my goal, because I figured with regular exercise and no weekly binges (involving food or alcohol) that would probably be easy to maintain.  I personally feel that I would look nasty if I were to go under a size eight, but even that might be too small for me.  My shoulders and hips are too broad for smaller sizes, which is something I am totally alright with.  I have a perfect hourglass figure and I appreciate it. I guess I will just have to wait and see what happens.  If I hit a twelve and am still losing a little weight here and there then I’ll know that my natural size is smaller.

It seems that there was something else that I wanted to mention, but I totally can’t remember it now.  Ah well. I am babbling anyway.  Have an awesome weekend, gals!


what ever happened to the midsummer splash challenge?

Filed under: Life, The Universe, And Everything — didibuttonsley @ 1:57 am

I didn’t forget about it, gals!  I never posted the final results because we lost Pepa and Jitter and I was hoping they’d get around to sending a final weigh in.  I know that Jitter was having issues with her 3fc blog, and both Pepa and Jitter have been extremely busy.  Soooo, I hope you all got something out of the challenge.  I think the three little soldiers who finished up did pretty good!

Misscatty – 224 – 221.8 – 218  (6 pound loss)

Goodnuff – 284.6 – 280.8 – 280.2  (4.4 pound loss)

Didi- 200 – 196 – 195  (5 pound loss)

Collectively we lost 15.5 pounds in a span of three weeks.  That is pretty impressive!!!  Congratulations to Misscatty for having the highest amount lost. WOOOOO!  Bragging rights!


car kerplunking causes coloring craze August 18, 2011

Filed under: Life, The Universe, And Everything — didibuttonsley @ 12:30 pm

Ok. I am writing a second post today.  I should be at the beach right now but….

I went to Walmart to pick up some more RIT dye so that I could change the colors of some of my dresses.  I also needed fresh parsley and more ginger from the spice isle.  Why you ask?  Because I am trying to get my bloomin’ period to come early, so that I’m not bleeding like a stuck pig when Chris gets here.  Please forgive my crudeness.  Here is a tip for all my lady friends: drinking three or more cups of strong ginger tea a day and inserting fresh parsley into your va-jay-jay will help bring your period on up to a week early.  It usually works for most people.

Anywhoozles, the plan was to go to Publix after the Walmart trip to pick up a few items that ole Wallyworld doesn’t carry, drop the crap off at home and then head to the beach.  My car (who I adore and is named Eli) had other plans.  He started fussing when I was just over ten minutes away from home (there is a Publix right by my house).  I couldn’t get the car to accelerate above forty… and then thirty five… and then thirty.  I thought I could at least make it home, but naturally I had to hit every GD light from here to Timbuktu.  Several stoplights later and there was an acute smell of burning stank in the air, and he wouldn’t accelerate over five miles per hour.   I pulled into a parking lot.  Fluids fine.  Belts fine.  Engine fine.  Yeah, it’s probably the clutch.  Sigh.  My poor darling is stuck over there all by his little blue self without me.

I called my aunt and asked her to come rescue me.  There is this super neat store called Elysian Fields, and yesterday I was thinking about going there.  I didn’t, however, because I didn’t want to spend any money.  Well the fates love their goofy ditzy Deonn daughter, because my car gave up the ghost in the shopping center by Elysian Fields.  I realized that slightly humorous fact as I was getting out of my car and calling my aunt.  I thought, “Well, hell, at least I can walk over and hang out in the store while I am waiting for my aunt to get here.”

Soooo while waiting in the store I flitted around like a bee at flowers.  The result of my flitting cost me eighty three dollars.  I bought some different rocks (I am maaaad about rocks) and a really neat picture.  I might give the picture to my friend as that was the original intention, but I like it so much that I might end up keeping it.  I frequently purchase spur of the moment gifts for people, and I don’t think I’ve ever been so tempted to keep one of these gifts before.  Silly me.  When my car is running again perhaps I’ll just go back and get another one for myself…

On the plus side my aunt has a Triple A card or whatever, so she is going to either meet me by my car tomorrow (provided one of the roomies can give me a ride) or pick me up so that I can use her card and not have to pay for a tow.

So I’m not at the beach.  I’m at home.  I am dying three different dresses of mine.  A white one with blue flowers will soon be red, and pink plaid one will soon be purple plaid, and a light jean colored dress will soon be a nice wine/burgundy shade.  I am so enamored with coloring things lately.

Speaking of coloring things, ya know how I dyed my hair red the other day to cover up the road cone orange?  I used Feria, and apparently my hair doesn’t like it, because it has been coming out with every shampoo.  It went from being a dark color to being kind of a light and odd color.  Sigh to the power of ten.  Sooooo I went ahead and bought yet another box of hair dye while I was at Walmart.  I grabbed the color that it was BEFORE I had the bright idea to try being a ginger.  That’ll teach me to get crazy.  My poor hair.  This is the fourth time that it will be getting colored in two weeks.

I’m going to end up bald and without a car.


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