bits of string and sealing wax

song of the day – It’s All Love – Ingrid Michaelson

Today I am cultivating a vast field of aggravated thoughts.  It’s going to be a a dark harvest.  Yipes!  (Stripes!)  Those last sentences were way too emo for my liking.

Send your Monday numbers in and I will record them.  Mine are the same.  Sigh and a half.  I am putting forth a lot of energy lately, and getting back a bare minimum of results.  That statement applies to all areas of my life at the moment.

I did get to go to Magic Kingdom last week though, so I suppose I shouldn’t whine too much.  I’ve never gone to Disney before, and I thought it was amazing.  I can appreciate commercialized enchantment just as much as natural enchantment.  If I had money I would totally buy an annual pass.  It’s worth it just to hear all the languages being spoken in one place.

Today all I am doing is studying.  I also have to make a run to the post office, and the grocery store.  I might make israeli cous cous later.  Hopefully I can squeeze in some aerobics.

song of the day: Better Than Love – Griffin House

RAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGG!!!!!!!!!!  *Punches and kicks wall, then throws self on floor and rolls around for several minutes jabbering and wailing*

There sure is a lot of crap going on at the moment, and I really am trying to be organized about everything.  I am NOT by nature an organized person.  My mind is a crow’s nest of clutter.  It’s the sort of thing one would expect to find in the back corner of the stockroom of an antique store.  We’re talking embroidered lace doilies, and salt spoons, and cookie tins from sixty years ago.  Slide that stereo viewer out of the way, please, I’m trying to remember where I put my god damn car keys.

the microbiology knowledge you seek is back in the corner there. no problem.

I am making an effort to organize my brain and my life, but it sure ain’t easy.

I have two big exams this week, and am concerned about passing microbiology.  Though I love the topic, this class is officially the most unorganized bullshit EVER!  Only two people passed the first exam, and they only passed by one question.  We don’t have a proper lab, and the whole set up is bloody ridiculous.  Oh well.

And just in case there isn’t enough stress in my life, my midwife flipped her shit and had a stress tantrum.  She has neglected to create an on-call schedule for either of her students, and is now angry because it came back to bite her in the ass.  Both of us pressed her for a schedule, but she brushed it off because she wanted to be able to just call whenever she wanted.  Unfortunately the two of us have school and lives that we need to see to.  She called me a couple of times when I was unavailable, and my classmate happened to be unavailable at those times as well.  So then she has to do the birth by herself, and is overworked and stressed and pissed about it.  She told my classmate not to come back until she had things straightened out, and I find that a tad surprising seeing as how they have worked together before and have known each other several years.  Yep.  The lady doesn’t want to pay another midwife to work at her birthcenter, and instead is trying to rely on free labor from students.  Her birth center is too dang busy for one midwife, and she bloody well knows it.  I understand wanting the free labor, but we are students NOT MIDWIVES and her expectations are just unrealistic.  My classmate has decided that she is not going back there at all, and I am on the fence about how to handle the situation.  I emailed the person in charge of finding us preceptors earlier today just to give her a heads up.  This whole situation could easily have been avoided had the midwife just created our on-call schedule in January.

Bullshit things I am tired of hearing : “That’s just how it is when you are a student.” “It’s hard being a midwife, and you have to sacrifice a lot.” “Well, it was like this when I was in school too, so you have to get used to it.”  If they want to martyr themselves and be overworked, stressed, and unhappy that is fine by me, but it isn’t how it has to be.  Your work doesn’t have to be your whole damned life.  And deliberately stressing out and overworking students just because “that’s how it is” is nonsense.  We do a lot and put in a ton of time FOR FREE.  They think this is building character, but there are other ways to teach and build good character.  Enough of this boot camp baloney.

Ok.  Done with that for now.

I was doing a little etsy.com research and have learned that the first ten to twenty sales are the hardest to make, because nobody has given your store any feedback ratings yet.  Folks want to see ratings so that they know you aren’t going to screw ’em over.  Because of this I went through and priced everything at the lowest possible bargain basement price.  I am hoping that the low prices will tempt the etsy shopping population to make purchases from a new store.  If that doesn’t work I don’t know what the heck else to try.  Do me a favor and go check out my policy page, profile, store banner, etc. and offer me up some feedback.  I listened to everything that was said last time, and all the advice was very helpful.  I really thank you bundles for your time, and it means a lot to me.    http://www.etsy.com/shop/TheTenMoons

I ordered business cards today from vistaprint that are quite pretty.  Those guys sure overcharge for shipping though.  Three week shipping was six dollars.  Really guys?  For a tiny box of business cards?  Three weeks?

So a while back I purchased this book that I had on my Amazon wishlist called “The 7 Day Total Cleanse.”  It is a fresh juice detox plan that you follow for a week, and it’s meant to boost energy and cleanse your body and all of that good stuff.  The book has been sitting around here untouched for quite some time (maybe three months) and I finally started thumbing through it the other day.  I like what I’m reading and I also like that the back has 28 additional juice recipes that aren’t used in the cleanse.  (Perhaps they are offered so that people can make up their own cleanses?) The reason that I picked it up and started reading it is because my weight isn’t moving, and it’s starting to really bum me out big time.  I have been working out a ton, and I have finally learned good nutrition that I have been practicing for the past six weeks.  I lost seven and a half pounds (five of it in one week), but have been stuck since then.  I know that healthy weight loss is supposed to be slow and steady and blah blah blah, but I CAN’T BELIEVE that a person can plateau after such a small loss.  WHAT THE FUCK?!  It’s not like I dropped thirty pounds and then stopped losing for a while.  My loss was enough to get me going and keep going, but I still want to see the number drop down at least a pound and a quarter a week.  I just know I’m going to weigh in at 208 again on Monday, and I can’t stand it.

I’ve decided that I am going to do the juice detox starting on the third, because that is the first day of my spring break.  I am afraid that if I don’t get a nice boost I’m going to to get so discouraged that I’ll flat out stop working out for a while.  At the moment I don’t think I’d go back to eating the way I did before, because I feel so differently about it, but I might cut out all the aerobics that I have been doing.  It has happened in the past, and I don’t want it to happen again.  There was a time when I was doing aerobics and pilates at least five times a week for at least three months, and I became frustrated that I wasn’t shedding pounds so I just gave up on it.  Of course, back then my eating was pretty bad, and that must have been why I wasn’t losing.  Still, I don’t want that happening this time around.

The juice recipes sound very tasty and are made of a wide variety of fruits, vegetables, and some herbs.  I believe that because the flavors change every day I won’t get sick of it (which inevitably happens with the master cleanse) and that’s a good thing.  I really didn’t want to have to pull out the big guns this early in my weight loss, but I don’t want to keep inwardly moping because my scale has been stuck for three weeks.  I am now extremely confident that I can maintain my weight without any problems, and I don’t suffer from any more thoughts that I might lose a bunch of weight only to gain it back again.  It’s awesome that I’ve made it safely over these hurdles, but I’ve got to get myself shedding pounds or I’m going to blow a gasket.

Right now I am sticking to my current balanced diet, but I might stay away from the flippin scale for the next weigh in or two.  A detox should finally get me under two hundred pounds, and that’s all I really want at the moment.

If anybody has any interest in trying out a juice detox just let me know and I will post the recipes for you.  You will need a juicer, and being close to a well stocked grocery store always helps.  Even if you don’t want to do seven days in a row, just one day of detoxing can be very helpful.  Weekend detoxes are also a nice way to clear your head when times are stressful.  I am looking forward to the clarity of thought that I always get when I detox, and I am also looking forward to the energy burst.

I just volunteered my lovely deltoids for IM injection practice.  Why?  Because the truth of the matter is that I sort of like being stuck with needles.  I figure that in my last incarnation I was a heroine junky.  I was stuck several times by my classmates, and of course the gang was taking pictures.  Some of them made me chuckle so I thought that I would post a couple.

I injected her with WHAT?!

This one is just the best.  The needle is already stuck in my arm (I didn’t feel it at all, and honestly she did the best stick) but she forget to aspirate before injecting the liquid.  She was saying “Oh, no.” and somebody snapped a picture.  We laughed pretty hard when we saw it.  Gotta love that facial expression.

My eyelids must weigh at least one metric ton.  (And that’s about half the size of my fat ass… tee hee hee)  I just got back from the clinic, and I wanted to check in.  Send those challenge updates, kiddos.  Don’t make me grumble at you through cyber space.

Let me just say that I love my birthing center.  I know.  I keep saying that.  Kylie is seriously an angel.  She is sooo tiny though, and I can’t figure out how she stuffs her wings into her tops.  It must be some sort of well kept angel secret.  I believe she has picked up on my level of stress, because she was being so encouraging and lovely to me today.  And honestly, I was in such a great mood already that it just pushed me into a state of geeky bliss.  I am much like a golden retriever that way.  Pat me on the head when I am elated, and I’ll just wiggle all over with glee.  (Say, wasn’t it just a few blogs back that I was comparing myself to a cocker spaniel?  Perhaps I should stop comparing myself to furry quadrupeds that slobber and pee all over.  Meh.  If the paw fits.)  Anyhow, she was saying how well I fit in with everybody there and how happy she is that I get to be at the clinic.  And that’s about the moment when my face cracks into two pieces because I’m grinning all wide like a damn idiot.  Oh boy.  I have been stressed, and sort of absent, but today I promised myself TO BE PRESENT.  I guess that’s all it took because I was extra chatty and in it to win it all freaking day and into the night.

But getting back to Kylie though… if she isn’t an angel she has some sort of drop of magical, mystical blood in her, or else was put under an enchantment as a child or something, because I swear THESE WOMEN DON’T AGE.  She was talking with a client, and said something about being in her early forties, and I’m thinking  “The fuck you are, girl.”  She looks like she is thirty.  And so does Cori.  I thought hectic schedules were supposed to turn you into a wrinkled old bag.  There is this picture of Cori from maybe six years ago that was cut out of a newspaper article.  In the picture she looks about ten years older than she is now.  Yep.  My brain just exploded too.   Of course, she weighs maybe forty or fifty pounds more in the picture, but still.  How can a six year old picture have you looking ten years older than you are now, and OH GOD my brain blew up again!!!!

Anyway.  I am blathering about nonsense because I am tired, and also suspect that the fountain of youth is located in the storage shed behind the birth center where I am doing my clinicals.  Ponce de Leon did claim it was in Florida, so I may be on to something here.

I think the title of this post pretty much explains it all.  I am so tired right now that I would gladly curl up on a couch with Satan if it looked roomy enough.  Fluff up the cushions, Mr. Satan, Didi’s coming to stay a while.

Scoot over, boys, I’m in need of a nap-skee-poo.

Yesterday I took Lali to Lake Louisa State Park, and we went on a nice three hour hike.  I saw a barred owl, and heard a few other ones at around five o’clock.  I wouldn’t have seen any of them, but I traipsed into the woods a bit, determined to get a glimpse of at least one.  Persistence pays off.  I also heard a bobcat a couple of times, but sadly I didn’t spot it.   Dang cats and their elusive ways.  One thing I like about Florida is that I always get to see armadillos trundling around, foraging for bugs to eat.  Much like myself, those little suckers are just so clumsy and funny.   But I can’t inflate my own intestine to float across a river, so they’ve got me beat on that one.

You would think that all that hiking would be enough for one day, but I decided to do aerobics before bed anyolddanghow.  I am pretty sure that my legs are going to fall off.

Today I went on another long walk with my trusty pooch, because it was a very nice day today, and also because I really want to compete my ass off for the whole mardi gras challenge.  I generally am not that competitive, but what the hell.  Monday through Wednesday I don’t have the option of working out as much because my schedule is stuffed to the brim, so I figure I better gather up a ton of beans while I can.

As a result of doing aerobics like a mad woman, and wandering around with my dog, I am officially exhausted.  In spite of that, I am still planning on getting up extra early so I can work out for an hour before I go to the clinic.  Jel’s challenge has turned me into a wacko.  I’ve been putting off homework so that I can workout more.

Speaking of homework, I need to get my ass away from this laptop so that I can do some reading for my Female Sexuality class.  We have a midterm on Tuesday, so I need to get some studying in.  I REALLY REALLY wish that I did not have clinic on Mondays sometimes.  I get home so late that I am too dang tired to study anything.  Oh well.  Every part of me has lost interest in Anatomy and Physiology, and though I find Microbiology interesting, the class itself is pretty ludicrous.  If I fail anything, it’s bound to be Micro.  I’ve been more organized lately, and deep down I know that I am doing the best that I can with EVERYTHING at the moment.  I have so much on my mind, and I am trying to deal with so many things at once that it seems like my schoolwork is the only area that takes a hit.  I need to manage my time a bit better, but I have truly been improving in that area.

I would like to work in Africa for a while with some of my schoolmates after we graduate, but after that I think it would be nice to just have a couple of births a month.  I admire the commitment and dedication of midwives who take on copious amounts of work and clients, but I don’t know if I want to be that kind of a midwife.  There are so many other things that I am currently pursuing that I don’t want to have to give up…

First off, thanks for the comments about my shop.  I lightened up the background of the banner behind the store title, and made the font a little bit bigger.  (Is it good now, guys?)  I also tweaked my policies page, and edited each of my individual listings to make the appearance cleaner and to the point.  I pretty much did everything you lovely folks suggested, because all the feedback was good and helpful.  THANK YOU!  It really does mean oodles to me that each of you took the time to give my shop a good once over.  It’s going to take persistence to get my business started, but I know that I can do it if I stick with it.

Why did I choose “The Ten Moons” for the name of the shop?  Traditionally (and still practiced in areas today) a woman noted the phase that the moon was in when her cycle ceased because of pregnancy.  Ten lunar cycles later would be around the time that the baby would be born.  (A lunar cycle is 28 days, 10 cycles is 280 days, and 280 divided by 7 is 40 weeks- TA-DA!)  I think it’s a nifty name.  To me it symbolizes a time of great change and growth.  If I ever open a birthing center I will probably call it “The Ten Moons” as well.  I think it has a nice ring to it.

And the second thing I wanted to say is A BIG SHOUT OUT TO JEL for winning the Valentine’s Day Challenge.  I am clapping so loudly that my hands are going numb, and you should be too.  Her total loss was 9 pounds, my loss was 7.5 pounds, and Sparkling had a loss of 4 pounds.  All of us are friggin’ amazing because we all lost weight. HOORAY!!  Rounds of applause all around.  I hope everybody has a speech prepared.

JELBELLE’S MARDI GRAS MAD RUSH CHALLENGE STARTS TOMORROW!! IT RUNS FROM THE 18th to the 8th. IF YOU WANT TO SIGN UP, YOU MUST DO SO NO LATER THAN THE 19th.  I AM POSTING A LINK FOR THE CHALLENGE OVER TO THE RIGHT IF YOU WANT TO CHECK IT OUT. HER BLOG IS UNDER MY BLOGROLL, SO GO TELL HER YOU WANT TO JOIN RIGHT NOW NOW NOW!

This challenge is like a 19 day mini marathon, and is a great way for all of us to get a jump start on the spring.  It will also help everybody doing the St. PATRICK’S Day Challenge stay on track.  This one is focused on activity as opposed to weight loss, and I think that is a nice change of pace.

Hola!  I am in Gainesville, and must study and get to bed, but I just wanted to post this realllllly quick before I fall asleep on my notes…

I need a few weigh in for the St. Patrick’s Day Challenge.  If you are skipping the fourteenth for whatever reason, I am ok with that, but let me know and I’ll just slash the box out.  (And I need the final number for the VDAY one too, if you haven’t sent it).

I would also like you bunch of boisterous beauties to do me a wee favor.  Can you please check out my new etsy shop again and send me a SERIOUS CRITIQUE.  Don’t spare my feelings, because I want honest and straight up advice.  Please tell me any little thing that you would change (about the listings, pics, profile, policy page- ANYTHING) or that could stand for some improvement.  It’s tough for me to get that sort of feedback face to face with people that I know (you know how it is, everybody wants to be nice and supportive) so you guys would really be helping me out here.  It takes a little persistence to get a good shop going on that site, but I want to do everything I can to get the ball rolling.  There are already a few things that I want to tweak and change, but I STILL WANT SOME FEEDBACK.

http://www.etsy.com/shop/TheTenMoons?ref=pr_shop_more

Thanks bloggie buddies!

Howdy all!  I’m going to be really busy until Thursday, so send in the weigh-ins and I will try to get them updated.

Not much going on with me today.  I’m feeling a little under the weather, and could use a good laugh.  I got a bit mopey because I started thinking about tomorrow being Valentine’s Day.  One of these days I shall acquire a fine Valentine, but it unfortunately hasn’t gone down yet.  Gloomy doomy Didi Day; That is what I am going to call tomorrow.

At the moment I am making carrot soup to take to school.  I will post the recipe in a minute, and hopefully it turns out well.  As soon as my carrot soup project is finished I’m going to workout for an hour and then go to bed.

I’m not sure what is with me lately, but I need to snap out of it.  One day I am all sunshine and giggles and the next day I’m daydreaming about AK-47’s and rooftops.  I don’t want to blame it on my period coming early, because that seems lame.  And I don’t want to blame it  on my weight not going down as fast as I’d like it, because I have come to realize that being thin isn’t going to magically fix all of my problems.  Besides, I have lost two inches to my natural waist, and two inches to my waist at the belly button line.  I LOOK THINNER, so I suppose the number on the scale isn’t so important.  I type this, but in my mind I am still thinking “Son of a bitch!! I want that number below 200 right friggin’ now!”  It’s less than ten pounds away but it’s a bloody obsession.  RAAARRRRRRRRR!

Thank goodness the VDay Challenge is over tomorrow.  I am all ready to get into Jel’s Mardi Gras Rush and the St. Patrick’s Day Challenge.  In fact, I’m going to do a sort of “test run” with Jel’s challenge since it isn’t starting until Friday.

And now, the moment you’ve been waiting for… DA DA DA DUM!  Didi’s amazing and spectacular etsy shop.  If you love love love me you’ll post my site address on your facebook and spread the joy around.

http://www.etsy.com/shop/TheTenMoons

I’m going to put up art work and other nifty things at some point, but for right now I’m sticking to crystals.  I love crystals sooooooooo much and I sure hope other people do too.