It sure seems like ages since I have blogged. My laptop hasn’t been working, and I have been looking at apartments/ making trips to Sarasota, so there wasn’t time for me to pound out nonsense blurbs on the keyboard. I missed it though, so here I am again!
My cousin, Gina, was home visiting from Sweden, so the holidays were fun. I spent lots of time hanging out with her, and her other three siblings. We all grew up together, so seeing them frequently has been the best part about living in Florida. The three sisters and I went to Sarasota to stay at my aunt’s (their mom’s) place for the weekend. We went to a fabulous restaurant, and our table was soooo bloomin’ loud it was ridiculous. Six silly women chatting and laughing at one table can be raucous, and it’s a good thing that the place was crowded and loud anyhow. We were having a fine time, and laughing like loons.
Angela is the baby (22) and she is getting married in March, so we went with her so she could try on wedding dresses. Let me tell you a little about Angela, because she’s just a vibrant and swell gal all around. First off, she’s the only one of her siblings that ever had any weight issues, but she still exudes such confidence in herself that I am prone to feelings of admiration for her twinged with a touch of envy. Her sisters are both very thin, but one never gets the impression that she wastes much time envying their bodies. She really has a nice figure and ranges between a twelve and a fourteen, but always seems smaller than that to me. Perhaps it is because she still looks good in a bikini, and is comfortable in her skin. I admire that about her. I also love the fact that she is extremely straightforward, and has a zero bullshit tolerance level, but still manages to be quite silly and hilarious. There is something joyful in her character that is terribly pleasing. Angela is also a chef, and we’ve had some pretty good times cooking together, and I admit that I find that people who are passionate about cooking are usually pretty nifty to hang around.
I never went with anybody trying on wedding dresses, and I happily report that it was a pleasant experience. We were all getting teary at one point, because she had this wedding gown on and looked GORGEOUS and one of the employees helped her put her hair up and put on a veil. I may be a tomboy, a science nerd, and an all around outdoorsy dork, but I’ve still got a sappy romantic side.
My aunt’s housemate also has a boat (SCORE and a HALF!) so she took us out on it. Emily (the oldest at 28) had to go back to Orlando, which was a bummer, but we still had a good time. Gina, Angela, and I stood at the front of the boat shrieking and waving our arms like mad, as Tracey raced around doing loops and spirals to keep us entertained. I saw some dolphins (nobody else was quick enough to catch it) and on the way back we all saw another one. Good times. I’m all about the wildlife.
I passed all of my classes (whew) and have started clinicals at the birth center. I have already been there two days, but we are not permitted to count anything until the tenth. Honestly, I am alright with that, because I wanted to get a feel for the place a little. The midwife there is clearly knowledgeable and dedicated, and I am thrilled to have gotten a good preceptor. I go back on Monday, and classes start on Tuesday, so I already anticipate a loooong week ahead of me. I am not living in Sarasota yet, and have just over a two hour drive to get there. THANK ANYBODY WORTHY that class this semester starts at eleven on Tuesday.
My preceptor also knows another student midwife who is looking for a roommate at the end of the month. Keep your fingers crossed that everything works out! My credit is lousy, and I think I’ll have a hard time getting moved into a decent apartment because of it. I’m sure I can set up shop in the ghetto, but there have already been folks expressing concern about some of the areas I was going to go apartment hunting in. People sure are scared of a lot of things…
I have to make this quick, because I am about to pick up my cousin so we can run some errands, but I’ve set a lot of goals for myself in the last couple of days. My life is unfolding in new and exciting ways, and I realize how much I have neglected my health and body over the last six years. For once, I did not make ANY new years resolutions, because I was tired of resolving to lose weight every blasted year. This year I want to learn to live in the world without fear. I want to love and accept myself. All I seek is to find balance in my life and in my heart.
I posted some goals for the next month, and I feel that they are reasonable and attainable. I am thinking about nutrition a lot because I have to talk to pregnant women about their diets at the clinic. I don’t have the brass cajones to recommend proper nutrition and self care when I’m not truly taking care of myself. All I really want to do is incorporate more fruits and vegetables into my diet, and I’ve considered becoming a vegetarian again. I’ll be sticking to mostly whole foods, and drinking obscene amounts of water. Each time I feel like eating I ask myself, “Am I really hungry? Why do I want to eat right now?” I am really trying to be mindful about what I am putting into my body. Since I’m not keen on following diets I’ve been focused more on meeting standard nutritional requirements. I still believe that the fatsmashers guidelines are very good ones, and keep them in mind.
My cousin is getting married on March 19th. That gives me about nine weeks to bust ass so that I can feel good about wearing a dress on her wedding day. I would really like to lose two and a half pounds a week, which is why I feel I should give up meat for the time being. ( I might permit myself white meats up to twice a week, mainly because I have some turkey burgers in the freezer, and also tilapia, and since I’m broker than a motherfucker I’d be wise to eat that stuff at some point.) I do not consume much meat, but for whatever reason when I eat it I always feel hungrier. I rarely eat red meat, and stick pretty much to chicken, and maybe fish a couple of times a month. Even white meat makes me feel strangely ravenous. The years I was a veggie I was in the best shape EVER because I didn’t get so many food cravings. Many other things in my life were also different, and my diet was far from perfect, but I did have an easier time maintaining a healthy weight. SO BRING IT ON!!!
Interestingly enough, Angela is also reverting back to her vegetarian ways because she wants to slim down and tone up a tad before her wedding. Perhaps we should have a contest.