bits of string and sealing wax

my quest to achieve a balanced life

oh, the confusion January 31, 2011

Filed under: Life, The Universe, And Everything — didibuttonsley @ 12:14 pm

song of the day : Kids- MGMT

Weight loss is a tricky business, and maybe I shouldn’t step on the scale every single day.  My weight was at 208.5 on Thursday and today it is at 211.  I have been eating well and following my own plan.  It get’s better though- I LOOK thinner and more defined, and all of my measurements are DOWN half an inch to an inch.  The measurements are down but the weight is up, so I should be satisfied, but I am ULTRA ANNOYED anyway.  It’s weigh in day DAMN IT!  Of course, I do feel like I am retaining water today, and I know that must have something to do with it.  Somebody pat me on the back before I have a big ole tantrum.  Screw it.  I’m gonna have a tantrum anyway.


I have a microbiology test tomorrow and homework to do.  Excuse me while I tantrum study.


i don’t even know how to title this one, people January 30, 2011

Filed under: Life, The Universe, And Everything — didibuttonsley @ 8:04 pm

song of the day: Bruises – Chairlift

I had my neonatal resuscitation (I can spell resuscitation correctly on the first try, but am constantly rechecking each time I write or type “judgment”… and yeah, I spelled it “judgement” back there and had to go fix it- hahahaha) class today, and it was very fun and interesting.  I really like the hands on learning, because I’m great at the application of things.  Give me an oxygen tank and self inflating bags to play with, and I am content.  On the other hand, stick me in a three hour lecture and I begin to fantasize about the gumdrop forest in Candyland about halfway through.  When it rains does all that candy just melt into one big glop?  Does new candy sprout up in the gloppy wake once the storm is over?  Who would ever willingly travel to molasses swamp?  No.  Seriously.  Molasses tastes like butt.  Am I trying to slack the heck off?  Is it my intention upon sitting down in microbiology to fantasize about making out with that hot dude who plays Dexter in the peanut brittle house?  Nah, not so much.

I’ve been taking awesome notes, but sheesh, my poor hand starts to cramp up and spasm two hours in.  It curls up uselessly like a dead spider, and as soon as my pen drops to the desk I enter space cadet land.  Oh, ladies and gentlemen, it is a beautiful place.  And, let me tell you, I don’t even like peanut brittle all that much, but it improves greatly if you make a house out of it in your mind and then make out with good looking fictional characters within the sugar sweet and sickening walls.  Ahhhhhh.

plus equals naughty time!

WHOA!  Wasn’t I saying something about neonatal resuscitation back there?  Do you see what all this schooling is doing to me?  I got just under two hours of sleep last night and my brain is about as useful as a bowl of tapioca.

I liked the woman who taught the class.  She is a superb teacher, and her knowledge extensive.  Her nursing and midwifery background have given her so much experience that she is able to teach a variety of different classes.  I myself intend to teach one day, because I have a knack for it once I have mastered the subject.  I also loved that she addressed some common midwifery related struggles, and was able to commiserate.  One issue that nobody gets is the fact that we have to work long hours at the clinic for no pay, be on call for no pay, and still go to school and do well.  And then people have the cajones to ask why you can’t make more money or try to work more!  BAH!!!!!  And then other people think we are inexperienced and have no training, and all births should be at the hospital.  Le sigh.

Weigh in day is tomorrow, gang, so don’t make me hunt you down.  I’ll send Lord Licorice after your chunky ass, and he’ll learn you good.

“Send Didi your weigh-in or i’ll make you eat black licorice until you fucking puke!”


being annoyed January 29, 2011

Filed under: Life, The Universe, And Everything — didibuttonsley @ 6:45 pm

song of the day: Rill Rill – Sleigh Bells

I never got around to making tabouli yesterday, which means that I’ll have to put it off until Friday.  Tomorrow I have a neonatal resuscitation class from nine to five in Gainesville (leave at seven, back at seven), and I am supposed to be at the clinic on Monday for eleven hours or so.  I texted Kelly (my preceptor) to see if I could possibly come on Thursday instead because I have a test in microbiology on Tuesday.  She hasn’t texted me back yet.  Hopefully she isn’t annoyed with me because of my damn car bailing on me on the twentieth… fricken catalytic converter can go blow.  I couldn’t go to clinic or the birth that took place that night.  Ug.

I had an awesome day yesterday, so I can’t account for why I am soooo blasted grumpy today.  There are days when I wake up and all I can think about is how much time I’ve wasted on this that and the other, and today is such a day.  And then I can’t snap out of it, so I mope about, wallowing in ridiculous misery. I think I will make a list because list making cheers me up enormously.

Things that I find aggravating today:  my room needs to be cleaned, and i have no desire to clean it, i have to do laundry and i don’t feel like it, i am lonesome and feeling sorry for myself because i haven’t met anybody that i am interested in dating since i have moved to florida, my friends back home won’t trade mixes with me because they are too lazy to mail things, as i am making this list i seem more and more like a childish whiner, i haven’t worked out today, i’ve not completed all my homework, i still haven’t gotten over my test anxiety since attending this school, i ate a cheeseburger yesterday to see how it would affect my mood and that was a BAD IDEA, i am attracted to useless no-accounts so when i do meet somebody i’m not going to trust my own shakey judgment, i always spell the word “judgment” j-u-d-g-e-m-e-n-t and then have to go back and fix it, my lower back still hurts, i’m still on the hunt for a good traveling companion but the search has been fruitless, each day i wake up a little bit nerdier, i am still a sub par juggler, erica wants to reclaim the crib that i have been using as a giant hamper… alright, this list is making me giggle now.  Mission accomplished.

My brain hurts.  Maybe it was the cheeseburger.  I guess giving up meat again was a good idea after all since today I feel like punching somebody in the head for no reason.  I even know just who I would like to punch in the head…  one ex roommate who was quite possibly the biggest douchebag-chode-faced-phoney on the whole damn planet (and i bet he knows it, poor bastard), and also another friend of mine who was a bit mean for no good reason and a bit gossipy when it happened to be unnecessary.  Yup, he gets a punch too.  There is a third person out there in the world, and I don’t feel the need to punch him, but I would like to knock him down for being an ass…

Most of my irritation currently stems from my struggle with time management.  That is the truth.


end of day thoughts January 27, 2011

Filed under: Life, The Universe, And Everything — didibuttonsley @ 11:17 pm

I am about to go to sleep, but I felt like writing a little first.  Typing is just the most relaxing thing; I love the whir click of the keys as my fingers fly over them.  As soon as midwifery school is over I am going to write a book, because it is something I’ve wanted to do since I was a child.

Today I searched through apartments online again, and I have chosen which apartment spot I like the best.  There is a new feature on that rates places by “walkability” and I totally dig it.  It shows you all the good stuff located within walking distance.  Brilliant!  Perhaps that isn’t important to everybody, but I want to be able to leave my car behind sometimes.  I also made a list of about a dozen state parks close to (and up to an hour and forty-five minutes away) from Sarasota.  Lali and I need to spend more time in the woods.

I really hope I can move before Angela’s wedding.  It would be nice to get it done during spring break in early March.  Until then I’m going to check out the state parks near here.  I’m not sure why I didn’t look them up before.  I guess I was just too brain fried and unsettled.  There’s a nifty looking place about twenty minutes from here, and I’m thinking of going there tomorrow at some point to hike with my hound.  Three other good hiking areas are all located under an hour from here, so I definitely intend to check them out.  I’ve been to a preserve about ten or fifteen minutes away a handful of times, but I can’t bring Lali there because dogs aren’t permitted.  As goofy as it sounds there have been many days when I didn’t go there, because I felt guilty that I couldn’t bring her with.  I prefer to travel avec pooch.

I also am going to make tabouli for the first time tomorrow, so I’ll be posting my own version of it under the “recipes” page at the top of my blog.  I want to make israeli couscous salad, but I can’t find israeli couscous anywhere around here.  I might just be bold and substitute with orzo or something…


my daddy taught me good January 24, 2011

Filed under: Life, The Universe, And Everything — didibuttonsley @ 5:38 pm

(blog title is referencing the videos at the end of this post… watch them!)

My lower back is bein’ a real bastage today.  I wish my awesome chiropractor would fly down to Florida and pop all this nonsense back into place.  I haven’t had to go and see him for years because he’s just that good.  I get zapped with electricity for a while, and then feel like I’m being mauled by a bear, and after that everything is in tip-top shape!

My GPS came in the mail today.  Clearly Jesus favors the foolish.  You know what else came in the mail?  Two of the books I ordered for my research paper.  “Your Orgasmic Pregnancy” and “Sex and Romance During Pregnancy.”  I’ve said it before, and I’ll say it again- Coolest.  Research.  Topic.  Ever.

I still have more anatomy coloring to do, so I shall leave you with two short videos to watch.  Watch them both.  You’ll be happy that you did.  Ok, I can’t get it to show up on my blog.   watch this    then this… it’ll only take up a mere four minutes of your time, and I swear it will make your day better.


did somebody say, ST. PATRICK’S DAY CHALLENGE? January 23, 2011

Filed under: Life, The Universe, And Everything — didibuttonsley @ 6:19 pm

Ok.  I know we haven’t even finished the “Lose Five Pounds in January Challenge” or the “Valentine’s Day Challenge,” but I have been so on point the last two weeks, and I am trying to keep up the momentum.  The weigh in for this challenge will start tomorrow, which will make things easier since the V-Day challenge weigh in is also tomorrow.

I want to lose 17.5 pounds by St. Patrick’s Day, which is on the 17th of March.  If you do the math, this is about a 2.5 loss per week (which is the same as the V-Day Challenge).  I just need something to make me work harder.  Two and a half pounds is pretty manageable at this stage of my weight loss, and I want to push myself to work out as much as I can.  Let me know if you are down for some Leprechaun-weight-loss-madness.  And hey, if my goal is too high join anyway and just lower the amount of weight you want to lose!!!  We can still support each others individual goals.  I will post this page at the top of my blog for easy access and updates.


too hot

Filed under: Life, The Universe, And Everything — didibuttonsley @ 6:02 pm

song of the day (stole this idea from Jel, cause it’s just stylish and brilliant) To Go Home- M. Ward

Hey gals, those of you participating in the Valentine’s Day Challenge (lose ten pounds by Valentine’s Day)- don’t forget tomorrow is weigh-in day.  And if anybody else wants to join in you are welcome to!  The first weigh-in day was the seventeenth, so you can just use your weight from that day as your starting point.  I have a link to the challenge at the top of my blog.  Come on, pretty ladies, let’s get sexy together.

I officially lost five pounds last week, and I am pretty happy about it.  I’m going to push myself harder this week to see if I can repeat the loss.  I CAN NOT WAIT to be back under 200 pounds, and I’ve only got ten to go to achieve this mini goal of mine.  I’m already half way to my Valentine’s Day Challenge goal… and that kinda makes me wish I had set my sights even higher.

I’ve been meaning to get a camera, and I need some help with this because I haven’t had a camera in a zillion years.  Any suggestions?  I am thinking maybe a panasonic lumix… I want to take pictures of my ever increasing hotness.

Pretty soon we’ll all be so sexy that it will eventually have to be criminal.  Dudes will literally explode in their pants when they see us.  Just sayin’…  You’ll heed these words when some random johnny crosses the street in front of you and blows a load in his shorts.  At some point the government will have no choice but to make such sexiness a criminal offense.  They’ll be, like,”Sorry girls, but people can’t focus on work and menial tasks.  The country is going to fall apart because men are spending so much time at home washing load after load of boxers and briefs.  For realsies, girls, I’ve already jizzed in my pants twice since I’ve been talking to you…”

Anyolddanghow.  I better get back to my homework.  Just wanted to share some thoughts and post another challenge to keep myself pumped.


the error of my ways January 22, 2011

Filed under: Life, The Universe, And Everything — didibuttonsley @ 3:29 pm

Remember back in the day when I used to blather ceaselessly on and on about how I wasn’t going to log stuff like my measurements, weight, and daily exercise?  Well I am here to let you know that I was just being a dipshit about it.  I bought this dry erase board with the whole month printed on it, and hung it above my bed in an effort to be more organized and less scatter brained.  This purchase combined with the fancy scale was a wise investment.  Since I have been tracking and writing my numbers down on the board, I have lost five pounds!  GO ME!

here is the dry erase board the has changed my life in three days. look, ye chubby brethren, and behold the glory!  the green snowflake is for the end of the January challenge, and the red heart is the Valentine’s day challenge.  to the left are my measurements. as you can see, the eraser is wedged into the necklace hook on the right.

It has been fun writing everything down too, which isn’t all that surprising to me in spite of all my previous nay saying and whining.  I really LOVE to list things down even if I never look at the list again.

I’m still not counting calories, but I have been achieving my goal of eating two pieces of fruit , (at least) two and a half cups of vegetables, and one Greek yogurt a day.  I also have only eaten tuna once since I made the decision to avoid all meats (apart from tuna and sushi) for the next six months.  Once July rolls around I may incorporate chicken back into my diet once a week, and beef once every other week.  We’ll see how I feel about it when the time comes.  For whatever reason, it seems I have a difficult time suppressing my hunger when I include meat in my weekly diet.  Oh well. On the plus side being a pescatarian again has been insanely easy.  When I was a veggie from 18 and into my early twenties I craved meat, but not this go-round.

Last time I was a veggie my weight was at a healthy level, but I certainly didn’t have a balanced (or good) diet.  I am truly proud of myself for the modifications that I have made in my diet over the last few weeks.  Instead of relying solely on carbs, I’m making sure to balance my meals properly.  I’ve been incorporating a decent amount of protein into each meal without just relying on tofu and soy.  Adding raw, unsalted nuts to salads, and different types of beans to salads, soups and main dishes is more simple than I anticipated.  Teaching myself nutrition is preparing me for my nutrition during pregnancy class, which I believe is next semester.  It’s sweet that I am getting a head start!

I’m feeling really good about myself today.  Last night I read skinnyk10’s latest blog ( and it really made an impression on me.  The gist of it is that YOU ARE DOING BETTER THAN YOU THINK, and I really believe this is one hundred percent true.  I spend so much time beating myself up over all the things I “should” be doing.  I don’t give myself credit for what I have done and what I am doing.  I live in the past and in the future; more time is spent thinking about where I used to be and where I want to be (also been thinking about Pepa’s blog “The Deadly Comparison, and I miss out RIGHT NOW because I’m not present.   Though I live in a land of then and later I am trying to make a serious push towards enjoying things as they are.



i <3 financial aid January 21, 2011

Filed under: Life, The Universe, And Everything — didibuttonsley @ 4:08 pm

Howdy, gang!  Ya know, I gotta tell ya, I am so glad that I never finished my bachelor’s in horticulture all those years ago when I was living in Madison.  If I had been on point and gotten a degree like a good little paramecium I wouldn’t be eligible for student grants in the here and now.  Thank you, twenty year old self, for being a big ole confused slack ass.  But wait!  It gets better.  The program I am in now is a three year shebang that won’t give me a bachelor’s either.  If I transfer to another midwifery school I can get a bachelor’s, but FSTM isn’t offering this yet.  Sooooooo in a nutshell this means that I am currently deciding where to move to and go to school (some more) after my schooling in Florida is finished.  I ought to get a doctorate in some damn thing or another, right?  Why pay back my student loans when I can just stay in school until I am dead?  I’d like a doctorate in something absurd like contemporary Sumerian literature, or urban planning for gypsies, or morse syntax.  Find me the school that offers such gems!

Anyway, all of that hogwash bullshit that I just wrote was inspired by a nice financial aid check that I received (and cashed, muthafuckas) on Wednesday.  I was able to complete the rest of my school shopping yesterday, though I still need a couple of notebooks.  I don’t know why it didn’t occur to me to throw a couple of notebooks into the cart when I was at Target; I was throwing every other damn thing in there.  I ordered a sweet GPS off of Amazon too after realizing that it’s twice as much to get the same thing at Target.  Now I won’t have to worry about getting lost on the way to births.   Whew.

I also bought a new scale.  It’s terribly fancy looking, and measures percentage of body fat, and body muscle, and water, and so on and so forth.  I am happy to report a two pound loss.  I laughed a lot when I did my percentage of body fat reading.  I never knew it was possible to be fifty percent body fat.  Just over half of me is whipped grease.  Starting at approximately two feet and nine and a half inches from the floor, visualize that the rest of my body is composed of bacon fat.  Mold some Crisco into half a Deonn shape.  Thirty two percent of me is muscle.  Layer muscle onto the bacon fat, add water, and there I am!  Yikes.

I work out just about every day now.  I can’t stand the idea of being at a birth clinic two days a week and not being healthy and in shape.  I know there are a lot of tubsters in health related fields, but I’ll be damned if I’m going to be one of them.  How can anybody stand to give health advice that they do not follow themselves?  One of the gals in my class works with an extremely obese cardiologist.  How does that even happen?

I have a lot of coloring to do for A&P II, so if anybody wants to do it for me, let me know.  I’ve ordered a couple of books for my research topic for the semester… da daa daaaaa DUM, I got “sexuality during pregnancy.”  This is officially the coolest research topic that I’ve ever had.  Just cause you happen to be six months pregnant doesn’t mean that you can’t get down, ladies.

Valentine’s Day Challenge Update


Before Bed Challenge January 15, 2011

Filed under: Life, The Universe, And Everything — didibuttonsley @ 2:29 pm

I am trying to incorporate a smidgeon of evening working out into my schedule, because I feel that working out upon waking and just before bedtime are the most useful to me.  I want to start tracking my activity more, and I think making up challenges (and joining other people’s challenges) is a good way to keep myself motivated.

For this challenge I’m starting off simple, and I’ll probably keep it that way.  From today (January 15th) until the 12th of February I want to do twenty minutes of exercise before I go to bed at least three times a week.  For now I will be using Hemalaaya’s “Dance of the Kama Sutra” dvd.  It is very relaxing and sensual, and ought to help any girl fall in love with the beautiful body that God gave her!


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