bits of string and sealing wax

my quest to achieve a balanced life

what is that in dog weight? September 12, 2010

Filed under: Life, The Universe, And Everything — didibuttonsley @ 6:16 pm

I was just trying to cheer up jetperson (I like reading her blog, so you might want to check it out- Pretty Much a Normal Person Losing a Chunk of Weight) and I think I came up with something brilliant.  Something brilliant, or smilliant, as they say in the trade.  What trade, you ask?  Why, the trade of diet blogging of course.  Is diet blogging really a trade, you inquire?   I don’t know if I’d invest in it, but you do as you like.  Do you even know what investing is, Didi, you cautiously question?

Ok.  Enough of that.  I get to typing and my mind wanders away.

Anyway, so back to my smilliant idea.  You know how you can convert years to dog years?  Sure, it’s a stupid waste of time and isn’t even accurate because life expectancy varies from breed to breed, but it can be done.  Well I think we should start converting weight to dog weight.  Then you’ll hear people asking, so how much is that in dog weight?  Wouldn’t that just be the bees knees?

my health has been superb since i worked off a west highland terrier

I have to lose seventy pounds.  It is absolutely no fun to say that out loud at all.  Not only that, but try to imagine seventy pounds creatively in your mind.  What the crap weighs seventy pounds?  I have nothing in my brain to compare such a figure to.  This is where my handy dandy dog weight conversion chart steps in to save the day.   I have to lose an Irish Setter.  Now saying that makes me feel a lot more… well… I’m not really sure how that makes me feel just yet, but you have to admit that it’s an attention grabber.  Imagine me strolling around in public and having an Irish Setter just fall off of me, and you can successfully picture about how much weight I am wanting to lose.  But, Didi, I don’t even like Irish Setters!  Ah, don’t trouble your pretty little head.  You may also want to choose imagining a Foxhound, Briard, Coonhound, Labrador, or the noble Belgian Sheepdog falling off of me instead if Irish Setters don’t float your boat (or should I say retrieve your duck?).

I like to visualize, and if you are right there with me I think you may just want to convert your weight to puppy pounds right now.  Are you looking to drop a Cairn Terrier or has your journey just begun, and you are still carrying around an extra Malamute?

Maybe dog conversions aren’t useful, but they sure make conversation a bit more lively.  It also puts a ridiculous spin on things that ought to brighten up your outlook a little.  Numbers can be so dullsville, which is why I propose we speak in terms of dog breeds.

Oh boy.  My brain is clearly taking a beating from all the homework if this is the kind of garbage I am cooking up.  Pray for me, people.  Pray for me.

i just need one more krispy kreme donut, and then i’ll start my diet


2 Responses to “what is that in dog weight?”

  1. pepagirl Says:

    I’ve already lost a small Bull Mastiff, now I’m working on the average Dalmation. Damn those spots… damn them…

  2. jetperson Says:

    awesome…i just saw that you blogged about the “weight in dog weight” idea! I’ve only owned 2 dogs in my life (a beagle and a black lab)so I can say I’ve lost a 6 month old beagle, but gained back a 3 weeks worth of black lab!

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