4 days in…progress, rants & goals for this week

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4 days in….

Well I am doing pretty well. I am off to a good start. 4 days without meat so yay! I am not eating 100% perfect. though I am not eating bad eithe. I just need to tighten up the portion control and work with adding in some better foods.

I did my Walk Away the Pounds video today and yesterday. I am amazingly suprised at how smooth I am taking back to working out. I thought it would be just as hard as when I first started at the beginning of last year. It has been like 6-8 months since I quit working out at all. I am not saying it wasn’t hard because I was feeling it but I wasn’t dead afterwards,

This has inspired me to push myself farther. Starting friday I will up my time and add in the my fitness coach for the wii and maybe do two 15 mins/mile with the WATP videos. I just keep the images in my head of the biggest loser. Those people do amazing things and push themselves so far. People far bigger then I am so there is just no excuse and the only thing holding me back is my excuses and lazyness lol

I also did some Wii tennis today (I did about even against the computer) I like never miss their hits to me but I hit out of bounds alot lol. I then tried some boxing but I just do not get it and I won but I don’t know how or what was going on there.

I then tried to do my Wii just dance and omg it wouldn’t work. <em>46</em> Like the disc is scratched or something and wont read it. so that upset me big time.

Wed & thurs my husbands days off so idk I gotta stay on plan. We are supposed to go to the mall so that is some walking around. Atleast I hope we go lol

Ok now my rants lol

First my sleep pattern is all screwed up big time. idk I began just staying up all night sleeping all day but then I was getting really really depressed and I would force myself to stay awake as long as I could. I didn’t want to go to bed because I knew I would lay their in the quiet of the darkness with just my thoughts to torment me. It was this dark scary time and it was as if every bit of my body was screaming no don’t go to bed.

This caused me to have this cat like pattern lol I was never going to bed. instead I was just taking naps here and there throughout the day/night. Which completely screws with you. I never knew what day it was or time or anything lol

I am trying to break myself out of it but it is not easy. I am getting up super early and all awake. But my husband is still asleep so I gotta be kindof quiet (tiny apartment) and then I am getting super tired in the afternoon taking a nap and sleeping until 1-3am and waking up ugh. I just gotta get that sorted out big time.

My other problem is that I am bored 🙁 Sadly horribly bored. I used to fill my days with computer games- sims or wow. and now I don’t really have a ton of interest not to mention that it is just not a good place for me right now. If I start playing hours fly by before I notice it and I have just been sitting on my ass the whole time. Nothing gets done and it pushes me back into very bad patterns/habits.

So what have I been doing instead? reading forums and websites all day long instead… sigh. It is partly better because I can get up and do other things better and more often. But really it is still me sitting on my butt.

But I don’t know what to do. I can not drive. I don’t know anyone here. There is nothing interesting to walk to near here. So i am sitting alone in my apartment with my cats until my husband comes home and then I go to sleep. I was just sitting here staring at the wall today like umm I need something to do. sigh sigh sigh.

My goals this week:

Step up the fitness!
30 mins a day (5 days a week) of WATP
My fitness coach & other wii stuff too probably

Food: keep tracking every single day
I think I am going to buy a few easy things like lean cusine or something that I can just eat with some veggies and a big salad for dinners and then for lunch maybe do grilled cheese with fruit, cottage cheese and carrots? for breakfast stick with the oatmeal. for snacks idk yet lol

I think for right now starting off I need to focus on portion control and habit of meals at the same time each day. So idk if it isn’t 100% perfect. and then slowly add in better and better options. I did this before and it helped alot.

Going Vegetarian- Day 1

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Going Vegetarian- Day 1

Thoughts and reasoning for my journey~

“As long as men massacre animals, they will kill each other. Indeed, he who sows the seeds of murder and pain cannot reap the joy of love.” – Leonardo Da Vinci

So after much thought I have decided to go vegetarian.

(a note:

WARNING: this is just my own rantings of a journal entry about why I felt I needed to become a vegetarian and my own personal struggles with my morals and thoughts. It is not meant to condemn or pass judgment on anyone else. We all have to walk our own paths and live our own life. You murder! Jk J)

I am a huge animal lover. I care about the entire earth and I have always felt that we were no better then animals. I know they have souls and are a life just as important that any other life. So no I do not feel that they have been put on the earth just for us to eat or use.

At the same time I don’t really think it is wrong to eat meat. I couldn’t be mad at the lion for eating the Zebra or the snake for eating the rat. A life ending is always sad but that is how nature is. It is a never ending balance of give and take. It probably also helps that I believe plants have souls too, in a whole pantheistic view of the Earth.

No matter what for me to live something has to die. Atleast for me, it has always been very hard to cope with that fact. But then I think it all goes back to that lion and the balance of nature. Nature in its most perfect idea would be the balance of taking only what we need and then giving back so that the cycle can continue on.

So while I didn’t find eating meat wrong I found that the gluttonous, greedy, and inhumane way we go about it disturbing and cruel. We seem to have no care in the world for the earth or any other life but our own. We take and take and take and give little if nothing back. We talk about cutting back on junk food and spending too much on pepsi and Doritos when people the world over are starving to death. But to the point, I don’t think one person in this world can be so naive to not have some idea how these animals we are eating are treated. They may simply turn a blind eye as they eat their McDonalds.

I know I was one of them. You just do not think about it. You ignore it. Even with all these laws we have these animals are not for one instant treated with respect or care or compassion. It is nothing but cruelty enough to turn your stomach. For one second imagine if someone replaced the animals with humans in that situation. There would be shock and outcries and no one would stand for it. And yet we do stand for it everyday because it isn’t humans… Imagine if it wasn’t a cow or a chicken but our little pets. Imagine your beloved pet in that situation. How is it any different?

I can’t speak for other people but I always struggled with this. I knew it was wrong. I made excuses- what can I do? I ignored it a lot. I felt guilty as hell to be honest. I couldn’t eat any meat that reminded me of it being an animal. Chicken with bones made me sick.

But at the same time it wasn’t enough to make me change. I held on to my selfish wants. But I can not do that anymore. I can’t sit here and wish to be a good person and pretend that I would do what I felt was right when I am not. People talk about good and evil. Right and wrong. Well this is a very struggle for my soul. And I plan to save it.

Be the change that you want to see in the world. ~Ghandhi

Because above all I do believe one person can make a difference, even if it is small. Because each small step forward is still a step forward. I may just be naïve but I do dream and hope for one day a world where everyone embraces love over hate and there is no prejudice or war. And where everyone views all life as sacred and beautiful.

I am not saying I am perfect and there is still a lot I should change and a lot I want to do. But this is something I can do. There is zero purpose for me not to other then selfishness. Which isn’t a good enough reason for my soul.

So here I am. I have really just thrown myself into it and read a bunch of stuff on vegetarianism and other veggie paths. There is a ton of conflicting information out there and to be honest it is hard to cut through both sides pure bias. Since I became diabetic I have read a lot on nutrition and health anyways and to be honest with all of it there is a mess of conflicting information. I think science just has not worked it all out completely yet and on top of it you have every single person with an opinion writing a book and claiming to be right. It is not easy. If you look you will literally find someone saying anything you can imagine causes cancer.

So it is difficult to sort through it all. I think you just have to read a lot of different sources and keep an open mind but take it all in with a grain of salt too. A lot of information I have discovered on vegetarians has been truly eye opening to me.

There is a lot of information out there that suggests humans should not even eat meat. While I am not ready to say this is a fact at all. I do think the arguments are good for it and that meat in the least should not be the staple of our diet. That we should consume far less then what we do. I do believe that we were not meant to have meat be such a large focus of our diets but mostly stick with vegetables, grains, and fruits.

There are also a lot of myths about vegetarian not being a healthy or balanced diet. But that isn’t true in itself. You can get everything your body needs to be healthy and balanced on a vegetarian diet without supplements at all. There can be vegetarians who do not eat healthy just like every other type of person. You have to be careful and make sure you are eating a healthy and balanced diet but everyone should do that anyways.

There is also a ton of information out there about how consuming meat in the way we do is horrible for the environment. The information out there is really shocking. If you care about the environment at all then it is worth the change. A quote I read said: “A 2006 United Nations report summarized the devastation caused by the meat industry by calling it “one of the top two or three most significant contributors to the most serious environmental problems, at every scale from local to global.”

So yeah those are my reasons for the change mostly on the soul saving good for the earth and compassion. I also have a lot of health reasons. Since I became diabetic I really have wanted to eat healthier and be happier. I started doing really really good and then kindof stopped so I do want to get back on track there.

I have felt both when you eat right and how much it does make you feel so much better vs if you eat like crap lol. Your body is a temple and it is the only one you get (during this life atleast lol) so you should treat it right and with love. Not poisoning it is a good start.

Even though writing out all of this reasons I am still going to be a ovo-lacto vegetarian for now atleast. Ovo means eggs and Lacto meaning milk/dairy. So it means a vegetarian that does not eat any type of meat but still eats milk and eggs. While this still plays a huge role of my guilt and feelings of wrong. I feel it is a compromise I can live with for now. This is not an easy road to walk when making a lifestyle change and getting out of life long habits. So as with most things I think small steps can often help you stick with it in the long run. In the future when I have made new habits and feel more confident with my diet this may change.

For now and I am not sure I ever see it changing I am not touching tofu or weird fake meat items. That whole picky eater thing I just can not wrap my head around that. I don’t really think it will be that hard you don’t really think about it but so much stuff can be substituted for the meat or alittle creativity to switch it up. You are not just eating like a tree of broccoli everyday.

I also want to mention how incredibly lucky I am that I have such a great husband. I was alittle worried that telling him he would try to argue with me about it. But he has been so understanding and sweet and even supportive. He made a comment about making sure I am being healthy and not getting sick or anything but I think he really trusts me that I know what I am doing. He did joke though that I could probably eat chicken nuggets because he has an allergy to poultry but could still eat them so it probably isn’t really meat lol Still counts though! I love him so much. He won’t go vegetarian with me but having his support still means a lot to me. <3

Wow this is long lol All for now….

Some interesting linkage: