Fat as Mud

17 May, 2010


Posted by: billie In: bad girl|bingeing

I just ate a little tortilla pizza, a hot dog and a hershey bar! i’ve been so good all day, but i now realize that i have got to slow down on the carbs, they are really making me crave!

I have spent the last 2 days playing it safe, trying to eat low-cal, high protein to remove those 2 extra pounds. And i had done so well…until…

After going to applebee’s for dinner i was still only around 700 calories for today so i decided to splurge with a few low-cal margaritas.This is why i shouldn’t drink while trying to lose weight: i always get to a point where i’m about half drunk and want to eat something carby to absorb the alcohol. Tonight i wanted pizza, so i thought i would be good and make a lovely little tortilla pizza with spinach, feta and sun-dried tomatoes with a little ff mozzarella (only 320 cal) and it was delicious….but just not enough, so i had a hot dog (175) and then a hershey’s with almonds (210). Total binge calories= 705! A mini-binge because i’ve been known to reach the 1000s.

I still haven’t gotten around to exercising! That’s my goal for tomorrow.

Saturday activity: nothing

Saturday food: ff cottage cheese (80), my fresh sugar-free jam (10). coffee (40). peanut butter (145) and jam (10) on a lite bun (80). greek yogurt with honey (140). homemade soft taco (260). fake crabmeat (90) with butter (25). EAS protein shake (110). total saturday calories= 990.

Sunday activity: a lot of shopping and a lot of laying around

Sunday food: greek yogurt with honey (140), cottage double (100), coffee (10) with splenda and ff half n half (30). Almonds (100), 1/2 order of spicy shrimp diavolo (250). 1 dark chocolate square (65). 2 1/2 low-cal margaritas (265). The MINI-BINGE (705).  Total sunday calories= 1665.

14 May, 2010

blah blah blah…

Posted by: billie In: basic BS|bitching

No time for coffee, didn’t exercise, semester is finished, trying to stay low-cal with lots of cravings (cappuccinos and hershey’s kisses…but i resisted both),  and i need to get off my ass to make the strawberry freezer jam.  That sums up my day fairly concisely.

Also, my weight was up 2 lbs this morning and i can only imagine its from a combo of re-introducing carbs, upping calories and not enough sleep. Hopefully the scale will look different tomorrow.

I still haven’t taken the time for the mental-cises nor have i had a chance to catch up on my blog reading…sorry chickies, i love you all and i will get to it soon. 😉

I’ve got 2 flats of berries in the kitchen ripening too quickly. I bought a new brand of pectin that says i can use splenda so i am going to give it a try. My lovely daughter and i plan to watch an episode of X-Files then make up a couple batches.

Today’s activity: lots of driving, lots of desk work, and grocery shopping

Today’s food: greek yogurt (100) with honey (35), pistachios (170). sunflower kernels (180). almonds (100), 7 oz rotisserie chicken (320), 1 square dark chocolate (67), tortilla pizza: (110+25+10+10+10+15+70). Total = 1222

I spent all day finishing up my grading. Tomorrow morn i will run out to the college to turn in all my paperwork and punch in the grades.

I hope to get up and do some form of exercise. I’m already testing out excuses on myself… I may sleep late, I may just want to go to the college and get it over with, i may not want to get all sweaty before i go… i will try to tell myself that i can do it when i get back… but then it gets tricky, because i won’t fell like doing anything when i get home. I will want to go into my “whew! the semester is over so now i can lay up and do absolutely nothing for a week” mode. Oh, i just thought of the best excuse of all! My living room floor is a mess, its all piled up with a bunch of my art stuff: sculptures on one side, tubs of glaze materials and clay on the other, not to mention my stack of books and binders. All that crap will have to be cleaned up to make room for me to exercise.

The original title for this post was “Each day is 1 day closer to my goal…” That sounds pretty corny for me, but i had felt like being bitchy again like i was yesterday so i decided to get control of myself and try to think positive. (My positive attitude lasted about 4 sentences.)

I just haven’t been taking any time for myself lately. I always get consumed by whatever thing is most pressing at the time. Thankfully i’ve been tracking my eating on my phone app… that helps so much.

Speaking of food, today i moved my calorie count up to 1500. And interestingly, today was the first day i had problems with cravings. I’s say the problem was partly that i haven’t been getting enough protein, partly that i ate a serving of pizza which gave me carb cravings and partly that i haven’t been focusing on my goal as much as i have been over the past week and a half. …i’m also starting to wonder if my drinking last night, might have played a role in the carb cravings.

But, i overcame this little craving problem: at first i ate a small bit of the leftover pizza, but then i had a greek yogurt (lots of protein and oh so satisfying).

Also on my mind is that i still haven’t got back to doing the mental-cises! I really need to make time that.

Activity: a whole lotta nothing

Food: greek yogurt (100) with honey (30) and macadamia nuts (210). coffee (10) with splenda and ff half n half (40). cottage double (100) and pistachios (170). greek yogurt with chocolate (110). 1 serving frozen pizza (410). strawberries (65) with cool whip (60). 1/4 serving frozen pizza (105), greek yogurt (100) with honey (30). Total = 1540

13 May, 2010

i’m tired & grouchy

Posted by: billie In: bitching

I think i will just log in my calories for today then go on to sleep. i spent half the day grading, part of the day teaching (final exam day) and the end of the day drinking. I was busy and didnt get many calories in today so i desided i would indulge a little and have margaritas tonight.

I still haven’t gotten around to doing those mental-cises … tomorrow i will work on that.

I’m about ready to konk right now as i type.

Activity: the usual… not much

Food: greek yogurt with honey (140) and macadamia nuts (210). coffee (10) with splenda and ff half n half (40). cottage double (100). ham (100) with ff cream cheese (60). another cottage doubles (100) and another greek yogurt with honey (140). 4 low-cal margaritas (420).

total calories:  1320 . . . . . . a good night for margaritas!

I’ve yo-yoed enough in my time to know that the first few pounds are the easy ones, nothing much to get too excited about.  It does feel good to be getting close to being under 200 again. And it is half way thru the 16 pounds i’ve gained since i quit this blog a year ago. So, that is nice.

It’s gonna get harder from here on. I will have to step up my game if i want to keep losing. I’m fantasizing that i can do 2 lbs a week but i have got to move my ass a little to make it happen. If i could just get in some moderate activity, maybe 3 little workouts in the next week’s time that would be a good start and then i could build up to more from there.

But, i cannot lie. I will not do this today or tomorrow or probably on Thursday either. I just have so much end of the semester grading to do and all. And every moment that i have to not do classwork i spend doing relaxing things…for instance i have been watching my most recent netflix dvd for the last couple hours. Friday is my start date for exercise. Friday is the day i will make a move. I will get up at a decent hour on friday and put in an exercise dvd first thing. (This is me talking myself into it.)

Something else i have been neglecting is my “mental mindset” journal. I do like doing those mental-cises from Janice Taylor’s e-coaching program. I think they do help to figure out the roots of my issues, they give me insights to help me see things more clearly.

I’ve still been having trouble getting my calories up to 1200, so tonight i had a protein shake. Once i start exercising ON FRIDAY i will up my calorie intake to 1400-1600 and start bringing the big carbs back into my diet.

Today’s activity: same old nothing

Today’s food: greek yogurt (100) with honey (30), macadamia nuts (210), coffee (5) with splenda and ff half n half (30). sunflower kernels (180). a grilled burger (300) with cheese (45) but no bun and mushrooms (20) sauted in a bit of butter (25). YoCrunch (100), cottage double (100) and an EAS protein drink (110).

Total calories: 1255

Goodnight chickies! and good luck on all your weight loss endeavors! 😉

I have just had so much going on lately! The semester is almost over and i am determined to get into a regular exercise routine as soon as i get everything turned in.

The good news is that i am doing really good with food. After a few days of eating healthier, it has become much easier to make smarter choices. I’ve still been keeping close track using my phone app.

The bad news is that i haven’t done a stitch of exercise. I’ve been sleeping more than i need to and have been spending all my waking hours either working on class stuff or art stuff.

On Friday i even went back out for sushi with my pottery buddies. And i opted to not order a fried rice meal, and not do any drinking! We just made our glazes and i drove home at midnight (late for me).

Fri Activity: 2 hrs + of glaze making……. Fri Food: coffee (25), strawberries (30), peanuts (160), greek yogurt (100) with honey (30). then dinner calories are estimated a bit high: a small salad (70) then 2 pc each of rainbow roll (125), spider roll (135), yum yum roll (135). Friday total: 810

ok…now i’m worried that i’m not getting enough calories cause i know i didn’t get enough saturday either.

Sat activity: nothing…….Sat Food: coffee (35), greek yogurt (100) with honey (30), leftover sushi (200). dinner was smoked pork tenderloin (200) and some roasted veggies (no potatoes) (90) with olive oil (60). Sat Total: 715

Sunday i did finally get up to 1200 calories. And it was a day of making good choices. Before going to see Iron Man, i put in a frozen pizza for the girls. Now, pizza is a real weakness for me and i always buy those freschetta brick oven frozen pizzas, they are delish! Anyway, i decided to break my “no refined carbs” rule a little and have just a bit of it. And i managed to do just that! I didn’t feel like devouring the whole thing, in fact i only ate 1/2 a serving! So then we go to the movie and i brought along a serving of sunflower seeds which i saved until near the end of the movie. Then later, my girls and i even went out to the Chinese buffet at dinner time, and i only had one plate of food! And i tried to choose the unfried stuff. Quite an accomplishment for me. A day full of tests and i managed to pass them all.

Sunday Activity: not much. Sunday Food: coffee (15), greek yogurt (100) and honey (30), macadamia nuts (210). frozen pizza (205). Sunflower kernels (180). The chinese food is estimated & all very small portions: black pepper chicken (150), broccoli (50), mushroom chicken (120), shrimp stir fry (150), a single crab rangoon puff (70).  Sunday Total: 1280

Monday so far…. I worked all day and have more class stuff to do tonight. I was offered food at school and i think i made a smart choice with ham and grapes. The bread looked so good! But its ok, next week i will start adding bread and other big carbs like potatoes and pasta back into my diet. I’ve always only eaten wheat breads and pastas, just too much of them.

Activity: not much

Food: coffee (15), greek yogurt (100) and honey (30), macadamia nuts (210). ham (200), grapes (35). Not finished yet! I’ll be back later chickies!

Finishing up the day’s food: dinner was late so first i had some peanuts (160) and then for dinner i had a lean ribeye steak (265) and some asparagus (15) and broccoli (15) with a bit of butter (25) off the grill. I’m still hungry so i’m going to have a greek yogurt (100) with honey (30).  Final count:1200

I’ve been hanging out with my girls watching X-Men tonight. Its been lovely but now i’m going to have to stay up half the night to finish prepping for my class tomorrow, it’s their final exam.

Goodnight everyone. And i do so appreciate all the support from my 3FC friends! 😀

07 May, 2010

another long ass day for me

Posted by: billie In: basic BS|bitching

I’ve been hard at it all day, and i have to get up bright and early in the morn. After all my work stuff, i plan on making glazes and having margaritas with my pottery girlies tomorrow night. Hope i get a chance for a nap in between, otherwise i’m gonna be the first one to konk.

Anyway, i just want to log my eats and get some sleep. I gotta leave in less than 6 hours to take the dog to the groomer (poor thing hasn’t been in weeks and she’s getting all itchy and hot).

Activity: pretty much nothing

Food: greek yogurt (100) with honey (30) and macadamia nuts (210). 2 cups coffee (5) with splenda and ff half n half (20). sunflower kernels (180). strawberries (65) with lite cool whip (60). salad (20) with dressing (45). shrimp (120) with olive oil (60) and asparagus (20) grilled with some butter (25). a mousse cup (60). more strawberries (65) with lite cool whip (60). 1 72% dark chocolate square (67).

total calories: 1212

05 May, 2010

A whole lot of didn’ts in my blog today…

Posted by: billie In: basic BS

Didn’t get home till 9pm tonight. Didn’t get up early enough to fit in a workout this morn. Spent most of the day doing exam prep for my classes. I haven’t taken the time to work in my mindfulness journal yet, but i will when i crawl into bed. I didn’t eat before heading to my late class tonight and didn’t think to grab something for the drive. I was starved when finished up but i resisted and didn’t stop for fast food, i just came on home. When i got here, Philip and Hannah were loving the homemade mini egg rolls that Philip brought home from his cousin’s. They were delicious. I looked up an estimate on calories, and i didn’t overdo it. But, it is disappointing that i didn’t stick to my meal chart.

Activity: not much of anything

Food: turkey sausage (120), eggs (210) and cheese (90) omelet. 3 cups coffee (5) with splenda a ff half n half (30). strawberries (65) with lite cool whip (60). 6 homemade mini chicken egg rolls (400) with homemade sweet&sour sauce (25). 1 square of 72% dark chocolate (67).

Total calories =  1072

04 May, 2010

just another day in diet world

Posted by: billie In: big butt|brain vs body

Today has kind of dragged by. I’ve got a headache and i’m ready to head on to bed. I’ve got lots to do tomorrow.

I have being staying focused on my diet plan. I’m getting close to becoming obsessed, which is exactly what i need to do to get a good start.

I managed to step on the scale and whip out the measuring tape first thing this morning. I didn’t make coffee this morning thinking that might help me drink more water (maybe that’s why i have been getting a headache all day). I didn’t manage to make myself exercise today. I have stayed under on calories 3 days in a row.

I have been working diligently in my little journal to become mindful of my mental madness. I have got to get my head in order, not just so that i can stay on plan to lose the weight, but so that once i get down to a normal size, i don’t just go back to gaining again…like last time.

Here are my current stats:

  • 35 yrs old, 5’2″, 205 lbs
  • bust – 42 1/4″
  • chest – 38″
  • arms – 14 1/2″ each
  • waist – 37 1/2″
  • waist @ bellybutton – 45″
  • hips/butt/belly pouch – 49 1/2″
  • hips/thighs @ saddlebags – 47 1/4″
  • right thigh – 27 1/2″  left thigh – 28″

activity: not much of anything

food: ff cottage cheese (180) & strawberries(30) with splenda. sunflower kernels (180), salad (20) & dressing (90). strawberries (45) with lite cool whip (40), greek yogurt (100) with honey (30). ham (70), mixed veggies (no carrots or potatoes) (50) roasted with olive oil (120). strawberries (55) with lite cool whip (60). diet coke.

total calories = 1070 1137 … oops i forgot to add the 1 dark chocolate square i had tonight

water – 6 cups

Goodnight chickies 😉

It was rough.

I almost didn’t even make the time for it. I got home at 2:15 and had 40 minutes before picking up the girls. Usually i would of just laid up on the couch or my bed, but somehow i mustered up the will to do it. I think i only went thru with it because i kept chanting to myself the whole drive home that i was going to exercise when i got home.

So, i went with my old faithful “Crunch: fat burning pilates.” I still have it on VHS. It’s my go-to video whenever i first start an exercise program after having been lazy for a long time. The video does 25 minutes of cardio at a pace that is tough on a newbie, but the intensity seems to change up at just the moment when i think i can’t make it another minute, so that it is doable for me.

I had to stop at the half way point to down 1/2 bottle of water and catch my breath, then i went thru the rest of the video like a zombie. I didn’t get to the 15 minute matwork portion, maybe next time.

And let me tell ya, i’m plumb wore out now. I really want to take a nap.

The old man will be home shortly, wanting some supper. I have grilled porkchops with mushrooms planned. I was so excited to see the strawberry sign was up at the farm i drive by on the way home everyday. I’ve been looking for it for a couple weeks. So i picked up a big flat of fresh-picked strawberries and a bit of asparagus.

My whole family love love loves fresh strawberries. I put in an order for another flat on Thursday. We usually don’t even cook or prepare them at all, we love them fresh. Philip said he is wanting some freezer jam this year tho, so i may do that this weekend.

I’ll be back later to calculate calories for the day.

Love ya chickies!

—-It’s later. Time to tabulate.—-

Activity: 25 minutes of cardio

Food: ff greek yogurt (100) with 1/2 T honey (30), macadamia nuts (210). 2 cups coffee (5) with splenda and ff half n half (20). Diet coke, peanuts (160). grilled chicken (125), ff greek yogurt (100) with 1/2 T honey (30). grilled pork chop (200), mushrooms (20) with butter (25) and broccoli (20). Strawberries (45) with splenda.

Total calories: 1090

Notes: I always weigh out my portions. i keep track of all foods throughout the day on a phone app. I’m avoiding refined carbs for now. I’m doing a fair job of keeping to my weekly meal chart. I’m taking a small baggie of nuts with me when i go to work for the hour ride home (cause its a danger zone). I’m surprisingly happy that i have been able to accomplish the “eat larger meals early & make meals smaller further into the day” rule…i’ve never been able to do that before.

Also of note: Today i began a little journal for doing mental exercises as part of Janice Taylor’s e-coaching weight loss program.

Tomorrow’s agenda:

  • weigh in, take measurements
  • go to work
  • squeeze in a workout before dinner
August 2020
« May    

  • beerab: It's funny how what we now call binges are NOTHING compared to what we used to do!
  • round: Hi just checking in with you - how are you ?
  • round: nudge, nudge... how are you doing? I had champagne, wine & a decadent dessert Saturday, so you're not alone. I'm back at it... day by day

Go to Round’s blog to join!

By July 4th: lose 14 lbs & start exercising!

Such a looooooooooong way to go…………