Depressed yet hopeful?

So today I have my yearly pap- BOO. Course when I go to the doctor it says I weigh 217- though my scale says 214.

I’m not one to break down- but today I did- my blood pressure was high- and then the doctor said there looks to be a growth on my cervix, and so on. I told her I’m trying SO HARD and nothing seems to help I don’t know what to do- I told her I felt my medication wasn’t even helping and didn’t understand why I was taking it- I still feel the effects of insulin resistance after every meal (total food coma). She told me she’d send me to a nutritionist and she even said if I like she’d refer me to a laser hair clinic that she is a part of and would give me 50% off.

She doesn’t want to up my medication because she says she doesn’t want me to just medicate myself up and she wants me to lose all I can- she said she sends all her PCOS patients to this nutritionist and that they know what they are doing.

It’s just depressing that I’m working so hard and I see such little results.
And the fact she said she found a growth on my cervix- well that just terrifies me 🙁

Yet through all this I remain hopeful that this nutritionist will help me and I’ll continue to work hard to keep losing weight- who knows, maybe at the end of the year I will be off the med’s and in control of my PCOS.

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