I was born fat

I’m proud of me today- even though yesterday I had a small bag of chips (the single servings that are like 150 calories), today I was even better!

I had my normal large orange for breakfast, then my lunch was leftovers from last night- zuccini cooked with tomato and grilled chicken with brown rice πŸ˜€ I also had a light peach yogurt and some more fruit (I LOVE fruit).

I was a bit tired yesterday restarting, but now I’m totally fine- I fell asleep at 10, woke up at 6 ready to face the day (though I won’t lie I’m having my after lunch food coma lol).

I guess I finally realized this time- that even though I “cheated” during christmas, that doesn’t mean I have to give up for good! I won’t let that happen this time. I’m refusing to give up- the evil personality in my mind saying I can’t do it is being beaten down with that thinner version of me πŸ™‚ It’s funny, being overweight my whole life (I swear I was BORN fat) I don’t know what I’d look like SKINNY.

You might laugh and go haha no honey you weren’t fat when you were born- but nope I was fat. I see my baby pictures and I’m like WOW I was fat! I was I beleive 8 lbs 4 ounces when I was born, my sister was like 7 lbs, my brother 9! Okay fine maybe I wasn’t fat- but as soon as I could sit up and scream forΒ a hotdog bun I was lol. My mom has these sequences of pictures of me and in one I’m reaching for something- my mouth is open, and the final picture is me eating a hotdog bun HAPPY as can be.

Do I blame my parents for being overweight? Not really, I never really though of myself as “fat” till I was in 6th grade and I was wearing size 13 jeans and my friends were wearing 5-8’s. My parents always cooked at home- and once a week we ate out somewhere like McDonald’s or something. I remember I loved Chicken nuggets. I do know I ate cuz I was bored as I got older (my parents are muslim they never let me go out). I did up until about a month ago- I now ask myself “why am I eating? Am I bored or thirsty or really hungry?” I have found by keeping myself busy that I snack less at night πŸ™‚

I think just having the PCOS made it so while when I was younger I wasn’t eating badly, but because we ate a lot of rice and bread and my body reacted differently than a regular person, I still was overweight. πŸ™

I’m hoping by the time I turn 27 (one year exactly) to be down to my goal weight πŸ˜€

2 Comments so far

  1. bosoxfan on January 6th, 2009

    your blog could totally be mine. I haven’t been diagnosed with PCOS but it’s a possibility. And I was the same way in 6th grade, and all of that! I can’t remember when I was thin. But I recently saw some videos of me around 7 or 8, and I wasn’t the thinnest in the world, but I wasn’t fat. So maybe it’s really not the way you think it is?

  2. beerab on January 7th, 2009

    Who knows- sometimes I think we are always hardest on ourselves. I know I am.

    I definitely have the PCOS though- been medicating for years with small results- this time though I refuse to give up πŸ˜€

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