Archive for September 4th, 2010

the wagon

I feel like I’ve fallen off the wagon some time ago. Completely off. I don’t eat a LOT but when I do its not the greatest. Too much sugar, too many carbs..not enough fruit and water and DEFINITELY not enough exercise. Yesterday was our Family BBQ at work for the families of the children. I had a McD’s muffin (lemon cranberry slim sensations) and then at the bbq I had a hot dog, a hamburger, cheesies (cheese sticks), a few chips and a teeny bit of cake. I was exhausted from break! so I napped when I got home..then got McD’s chicken sandwich and fries for supper around 830 pm. Absolutely effin horrible eating.

Today I woke up and had a high fibre cinnamon raisin bagel for breakfast. Then bf went to Tim Horton’s and got me a blueberry danish…which wasn’t that good. I THEN had a light ice cream cone. For supper my gf’s and I went to a Chinese buffet. I had TWO platefuls of noodles/ broccoli/ salmon/ shrimp/ crab and lots of other stuff that was oozing in grease and cheese.

I feel disgusting. I feel gross. I feel bloated. I feel physically not well. I feel out of shape. Yesterday we borrowed some tables from the church next to daycare for the bbq and by just carrying ONE table my arms are sore today. Is that even normal????

I think watching Eat, Pray, Love which was long but good made me realize that I have to get this whole situation under control. Tonight I SQUEEZED into my stretchy jean capris, size 5 that I bought last year and I realized that if I keep going in this horrible direction I won’t even be able to squeeze into them at all. My ass will be so fat that they won’t go any further than my knees or thighs.

This is what i am going to say to myself :

“I did NOT go from 230 to 140 to now just gain it all back..I worked too damn hard and I deserve better than this from myself!”

I need to set mini goals for myself…here are a few for tomorrow:

-drink at LEAST 8 glasses of water.

-No sweets/danishes/cookies/ice cream

-go for a walk.

These are pretty reasonable I think seeing as how I need to begin somewhere.

Have a great long weekend all!