Something has got to give….

So I weighed in last Friday, and I gained a lb. It was like 214 and change. *sigh*.

I know what is wrong. I have been extremely depressed and unhappy with so many things in my life. My job is terribly difficult, and i think i have mentally checked out. I applied for another job, but even that is so scary. I have been with my current job for seven years. It took two weeks to write up my resume because I didn’t know what to say. How do you sum up that much time on one piece of paper? Well, i eventually did it. My happiness to me means so much. Right now I would do just about anything to get it back. I bet if I got out of this stressful environment the lbs would drop off. Oh and its not the job, its certain people involved in it. I have tried ignoring them, but then I am told I am bitchy, uncooperative, snobby or anti-social. Obviously the fact that I am so badass at the job doesn’t matter. My evals were not based on my actual job performance, but my personality. How is that for professional. I have been in therapy for my issues and low low low low self confidence. my therapist wants me to get on anti depressants. I am going to get an appointment to see my doc on Friday. I used to be so confident and strong. Why did I let this happen? Oh yeah, to conform and save a job that I love so much. I love the job. strip away the bullshit and I love my job.

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