There are plenty of reasons why most reasonable people will tell you to make a “lifestyle change” to lose weight instead of starting a diet. One of those reasons, of course, is that some diets are completely goo-goo-bazonkers crazy. As long as there are people who want to trim a few pounds, there will be “experts” trying to “help” them while laughing all the way to the bank.
A good rule of thumb? If it sounds crazy, unhealthy, extreme, or too good to be true, steer clear.
These are just a few of the dumb diets out there. Don’t try these at home!
To follow the Werewolf Diet, adherents must abstain from food during every full moon. It seems a little arbitrary and dramatic, but it got your attention, didn’t it?
How about a vampire diet, where you can only eat while it’s dark outside? Or the zombie diet, where you can only eat food that’s slow enough to catch at a shambling pace?
Ice Cream Cleanse
Beware of any plan, like the the Ice Cream Cleans or the Cookie Diet, that reels you in with promises of dessert then sells you something. The Ice Cream Cleanse wants you to eat their special coconut-based non-dairy product. Coconut is trendy, but let’s not go crazy with it.
Egg Wine Diet
On the Egg Wine Diet, life is a high-protein boozy brunch. Breakfast is eggs and coffee. Dinner is eggs, coffee and wine. Don’t leave out the wine! Dieters are even encouraged to start on a Sunday morning.
Baby Food Diet
Some of us look at babies with food all over their faces and think it’s cute. Does anyone see those pictures and start thinking “I’ll have what he’s having”? The baby food diet doesn’t just want you to smash your food up on your own, it actually wants you to eat baby food. From the jar. Unfortunately, part of the diet is that the food is so gross, you won’t be able to eat much.
Cotton Ball Diet
Cotton balls are not food. Please do not eat things that are not food, even if they are dipped in juice.
Cabbage Soup Diet
Some diets never die, and this one has been around for a long time. Sure, if you eat vegetables and water, you’ll probably lose weight. But at what cost? Large amounts of gas, to start.
All hail the great masticator! Horace Fletcher died 95 years ago, but some people are still taking his advice of chewing all food until “liquified” to heart. They must be awful bores at dinner parties.
Grapefruit can be great, maybe along with some protein for breakfast or a snack. It’s not magic, and it doesn’t burn fat. The Grapefruit Diet is also known as the “Hollywood Diet” if you’re feeling glamorous, or the “Mayo Clinic Diet” if you’re feeling official, even though it has never been connected to the Mayo Clinic in any way.
Why eat when you can just think about food and breathe deeply? “Air Diet” sounds a little better than “intentional starvation.”