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Diary Of a Fat Housewife .... by
I just got back from seeing my nutritionalist and I feel a little better. In spite of not sticking with the diet i somehow lost 3 1/4pounds inthe last two weeks. i told of him of my self repulsion and loathing. I told him how I can’t believe it’s me when I catch a glimpse of my fat self inthe store window. Ya know what he said? He said it’s a good thing I’m surprised because
that means ...
A bit about myself. I am 5’6 and have not gotten on a scale since April 1st 2003…
I made a deal with myself that I would not get on the scale for a month and it has now been 3 months. I am afraid to get on now. I promised myself that I will get on on my birthday...September 1st We’ll see about that!!!!
Had a root canal job done and I think eating went a bit by the board today. I mostly had to try to find things that wouldn’t a) slop out of my frozen mouth or b) I could chew on one side. I haven’t tallyed it up yet, so I’m going to do it here (no quilt, just for information purposes).
What is it about dentists that they suddenly get all chatty when your mouth is full of stretchy rubber and metal?
First time joiner, long time eater. Yes, its come to this. I really could use some help, guidence.. ya know a shoulder to hang on. Its night time now and really- for real im gonna do this tomorrow- starting.. now! I cant drag this eating and no excersize thing out any longer. I keep promising myself and I let myself down everyday- there are too many sins to eat. And being a stay at home mom to a 5 mo. old doesnt help.. Oh and dont get me started on my husband.. eating whatever he
I took my kids to see the movie “Holes” tonight. I saw an image of a Sigorney Weaver’s calfs (wearing jeans, believe it or not), and I decided that I am tired of struggling into my “fat” pants, and I am ready to do something about it.
I had was almost to my goal weight a year ago, and then had a hysterectomy. Since surgery, I’ve gained back all the weight I lost. I have also recently gone back to graduate school, and so I have irregular hours and am grabbing any junk I can. Wish me luck!
for Friday night. We will do a consultation only & he will write up a program for me. I will do the first workout on Monday night then. I can’t wait to see what % of body fat I’m at. (90? 95?)
Today was cheese an crackers day. Got up at 8. Ate cheerios. Went to gym. Did not want to but went. Did 2 miles on treadmill in 40 minutes. That was it. Rationalized that if I really didn’t want to me at the gym and I force myself then I’ll start hating going so I should only do the two miles because I have a session with Rich tomorrow anyway! :rolleyes:
So went home was hungry again. Ate 2 stuffed legal peppers. Went and ordered Kristina’s baptism cake from Luigi’s, strawberry shortcake yum!:D
Well I am just starting out on this adventure. I...like most have been stuggling for some time now. I finally feel like I can start to take control. It is just scary....I feel like I am in this all alone. Today I thought I did not do so well. A girl at work brought me a candy bar and I could not help myself. I just wish I had more self control. I feel like I am always out of control with my eating. Most of the time it is private and I do not want anyone knowing. We will see!!:(
I really screwed up tonight. I did good all day and then I came home. DH decided he was going to have a fried egg sandwich with lots of cheese. I tried to ignore him and his sandwich, but the smell got to me. I wasted calories on a greasy sandwich that did nothing but upset my stomach and send me binging. After that I had 3 slices of bread with butter and sugar, and pork rinds with havarti cheese. I quit counting.... My belly hurts and I feel like S***! Talk about self loathing.
OOFDA!I didnt work out today. My knees have been bothering me at nite to the point that I cant sleep so I thought Id rest them today and not run on the treadmill.I am still sticking to my points though ,so thats a bonus for me. I feel thin today and thats another bonus.Im not sure what the plan is for dinner tonite since Huney gets paid today, but if we go to cash his check in the evening we almost allways go out to eat. I have enough points left for today and enough will power to stick to them
Dear Journal, Where does this not caring come from. Seems to pop up out of nowhere when you least expect it. I wasn’t hungry today but ate the right foods when I did eat. Maybe it’s this rainy weather and the phys. regression I’m in? Whatever it is, I hope it goes away. Instead of backsliding I should call it something like “not giving a rat’s *ss what’s going on” title. lol Well, tomorrow is a new day and maybe a better mood too. I’ll have to work on it but I’m feeling a little burnt out.:(
Hi Geo - low point sweets that i like: no pudge brownies made with ff yougart (http://www.nopudge.com), meringue (not sure on spelling) cookies, jello and free cool whip, DQ fudge bars, McDonald’s ice cream and the list goes on! let me know if u need anything else!
Ruth did surface and apologised for not being there. She is such a darling. No wonder we worry about her.
The blurk wore off yesterday and I achieved much of that which was required. Had to scour the Chemist shops for aersol Saline solution in a small can - you’d think it was gold dust for goodness sake. Got the tickets, started the packing, took the plants away for their holiday. DS is good at lots of things but not watering. Need to send him a message to water the gardens every so often
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