Oprah's Bootcamp Week 9 (4/11)

[MistySeptember]

WELCOME TO WEEK 9!

I go into the week with a renewed sense of purpose. I have totally blown the last 8. I have had losses of course, but I sit here this morning just about where I started. I am at 200.5. I am disgusted. I know how I got here, no excuses.

If I want to lose weight I must live like a healthy person. Dr. Phil often talks about kind of going through the motions of a lifestyle. Change the actions and the mind will follow kind of thing. He also says you can't just rid of a behavior you have to replace it with a more desirable one, something I learned ALOT about in college and as working a speech therapist. Well, my undersirable behavior is emotional and bordom eating. I need to replace that with a better habit. On Oprah's boot camp intro show the woman who said she was an emotional exerciser really hit a point for me. So here's this weeks challenge for myself. Live it to be it, live like I am a health conscious person, live like I am an emotional exerciser.

Speaking of which if I want to time to do that I better get going so I can be back before the kids I watch arrive Have agreta weeke everyone!
~misty

[Jen]

Well I haven't weighed in yet but I really get what you are talking about Misty. I'm kind of scared to see the number on the scale because I've been really unconcerned about my weight since I've been having all these difficulties with my husband. I know that I shouldn't be letting his problems affect my eating and my goals to lose weight but realistically I can't escape my feelings. It is really easy to say that I should be coping in a healthier way than eating but it is hard when depression sets in and I have no enthusiasm to exercise or eat right. Am I using this as an excuse? This has occurred to me but I know I have my own struggles to cope with, I don't need to borrow someone else's problems.

Well I'm going to go weigh in shortly and I'll try harder this week to watch what I am eating and to get to the gym.

[Jen]

I'm at 227 lbs so I haven't really gained or lost. I think I got down to about 224 at one point so I haven't really gained a whole lot but it is still those same 3 lbs I am gaining and losing. I know, I absolutely know that if I did this plan it would work as I have seen great results doing the dr. phil rapid start plan, it is just a matter of sticking to it and not going nuts with the carbs. If I could cut back on the refined carbs I know I would lose weight. Anyway I'm going to try harder this week. So far I am just working 1 night shift on Friday and 1 afternoon shift for sure but I"m hoping to get another one in this week as well. That will help a lot with getting to the gym as I won't be so wiped out from working nights that there is no way I can go to the gym.

Have a great day Misty!

[MistySeptember]

Jen-I don't know how you get to the gym at all working nights.

I think that we have to be real. In the world of books, videos, plans and billionaires who can hire personal trainers and chefs to shop and cook for them, it is possible to not worry about anyone but yourself and your weight.

But in reality we can't ALWAYS come first, as mothers no matter what we can rarley come first. We can't always eat perfectly b/c you know what sometimes all that's in the house is crap, and kids are scraming and work needs done and we don't have an hour or even 5 minutes to prepare a healthy home cooked meal. Sometimes things need to be set aside, working out or running to the gym often as to second seat to things like bill paying, house cleaning, jobs, and hello what about SLEEP?

We do need to make our health a priority, we do need to be conscious about our food and exersice, we do need to take time for ourselves. But also must roll with the punches, allow for rough patches and not beat ourselves up over it. I will wholeheartedly focus on living as a healthy person, but I will not and cannot drop my entire life to do it. I can't always be first. I will take time fo rme, when it's appropriate. I am going to live healthy. BUt I am also going to realize that I live in teh real world not a book or tv show.

~misty

[Jen]

I think I'm pretty good about not beating up on myself too much. I try to be realistic and know that there is only so much I can do. At least I am being honest with myself and I know why I eat the way I do. Could I be coping better? Yes but in being honest with myself I do think I am doing the best that I can right now. It would be so nice if we had tons of money and people do to all the mundane things in life so that we could concentrate on going to the gym. I'll tell you that if I could go to a gym for a couple of hours everyday I definately would. I love working out, I love the feeling I get when I am tired from a workout but also energized at the same time. I'm sure that there are a lot of people out there who might read this and think that we probably do have more time than what we really think we do and if we reorganized our lives we'd have time for all of this. Well I don't know about anybody else but I've always needed a serious amount of time to just veg and let my brain settle. Things are so stressful in other areas of my life if I didn't have some time to just put my butt on the couch and let myself relax I'd go screaming down the street. Like right now I have about a million things I have to do before I got to work in less than 4 hours and I hate rushing around and try to squeeze gym time in there as well. Is gym time more important than all the other stuff? Probably but there is stuff that needs to get done before gym and that's all there is to it.

Anyways I'm babbling. I need to finish folding the laundry and then I've got to get some groceries and then I should probably get working on some school work. Take care!

[FatInVegas]

Hello, I'm new to this website. I am in Week 9 of Boot Camp, also. I started at 306 lbs and have lost 22 pounds so far. I've been on the Boot Camp website talking to other Boot Campers until last week. For some reason my other Boot Camp friends have sort of disappeared off the face of the earth lately. So it's encouraging to find someone else who is in Week 9 also. Last week I had some issues with cake and ice cream, which launched me on this 4 day binge fest. I had lost 25 pounds before that, but gained back 3 of them. So today I am recommitting to the food plan. I write down my food at the start of the day, and this works pretty well when I do it.

[MistySeptember]

WELCOME Vegas! It's kind of quiet around here, seems like only Jen and I have been posting. It's greta to have someone else here. Congrats on your loss, that has to feel good!

I have to run
~misty

[Jen]

Vegas, your loss is amazing, good for you!!!!! Congrats on keeping up with it. I wish I had done half as well, but hey I'm going to try harder this week so hopefully I'll have a bit of a loss next week. Feel free to post any time!

[Jen]

Pushed myself to go to the gym today, just did 30 minutes on the elliptical machine. They are starting a 12 week bootcamp program too starting on the 15th. It is $50 and includes 72 bootcamp classes and seminiars etc. I'm trying to decide if I want to join or not. I don't know how much of an incentive it would be and then if I didn't keep up with it, well then there is $50 down the drain. But there is the opportunity to win $1000, don't know if that is a draw or some kind of prize for who ever wins the most weight. Well I'm going to think about it tonight and maybe talk to someone at the gym tomorrow about the program.

[MistySeptember]

Jen-Great job on getting to the gym! I think getting more information like you said would be agood idea. I think it would be a neat thing to do. But will it be hard for you with your schedule? Still I think it would be cool.

I've been trying really hard to get up at 5:30 and walk. SO far I've been able to do it Monday and Wednesday. I was up late last night and I was just too darn tired.

Well I better go. have a good day!
~misty

[Jen]

Hey there. Am I ever depressed this morning. My husband and I had a little fight this morning. It's such a great way to start the day. Now I just don't feel like doing anything but crawling back into bed. Right now I am so hating him, he's been such a pain since he's been off his other antidepressants. His mood is ugly, he can't say anything without it being mean or negative and now he's complaining about sex. Oh yeah that's just want I want to be doing with him when I feel like he's verbally abusing me in some ways. Sorry I"m just venting right now, I feel totally miserable. Honestly if I could leave him right this second I probably would that is how bad I feel. Anyway I'm going to try and get over it and have a productive day.

[MistySeptember]

That's an awful way to start the day. Jen, I really hope things get better. I know I don't know the entire situation, but I just hope that you are safe and your son is safe. Verbal abuse is abuse, it's not a safe way to live so even if he wouldn't touch you you still don't have to live like that. Has he talked to his dr. about the meds altering his mood? I am keeping you in my thoughts. I know how hard it is to have to lose weight it's a full time job in itself, plus you have so much more to deal with it's probably quite low on your list. Please remember we're here if you need it.

~misty

[Jen]

Hi Misty. Thanks for thinking of me. I've been to the gym and feel better after a good workout. Exercise always helps to clear my head. I don't know if what my husband says is actual verbal abuse, it's not like he is calling me names or threatening me, it's just that everything he says feels like a criticisim and very negative. Also he gets angry very quickly. Things were so much better when he was on the meds but he was having some side effects (the sexual ones if you get my drift) and that was upsetting to him so he wanted to switch to something else. Well I've since learned that there were other alternatives to actually going off the med he was on but it's too late for that now. He's got an appt with the dr today so hopefully she will okay him increasing the dose of the new med and it will kick in soon. Normally he'd have gone on the higher dose after a week of the lower dose but he was feeling really dizzy so she wanted to hold back a bit longer. I know that the way he is now is not who he really is but it is hard to cope with him being this way. I feel that he could show a bit more restraint and sensitivity regardless of his own problems especially as he knows how I feel.

Well okay enough of that, life goes on. I talked to someone at the gym this morning about their bootcamp program and basically they are offering private training to small groups on a regular schedule. I'm still trying to decide whether or not to go for it. Like in some ways I'm really gung-ho about the idea but in others not so much. I have the rest of the day to decide anyway. There are only about 30 spots left and there might be a rush, people like me trying to decide what to do. Well time for a healthy lunch. Take care.

[Jen]

Morning all. I've decided not to go for the bootcamp at the gym. I think it is a great idea and if I weren't doing night shifts I would take it in a second but I'm too wiped out when I'm doing nights and I don't think I would get to enough sessions. I'm working nights tonight and I'm going to head back to bed to see if I can get in a little more sleep so I'm not totally wiped out tomorrow. I'll try and get to the gym later on, it depends on if I can sleep or not. I think I had a pretty good day yesterday, I felt good about myself. Hope you are having a good day too Misty, take care.

[MistySeptember]

Hey there,

I was doing so well at the begining of the week. But the last few days have been horrendous! I have very little food in the house that fits the plan and we just can't go shopping right now. So I have been living on Kashi cereal. It's frustrating.

I am annoyed b/c I have to get up at 5:30 am to exercise b/c I can't count on my husband to watch the kids for and hour while they are awake. So if I leave early while everyone is sleeping then I can go for a walk before the kids I watch get here. I'm tired. It's completley unfiar that no matter what he wants to do, get a hair cut, go flying, work in the barn, he knows I'm here and the kids are safe and taken care of. There's no question about it. But I can't go for a walk without getting up before dawn and sneaking out while they are sleeping, let alone do ANYTHING else. If I go to do something fun I have to take them with me. Plus twice this week i couldn't go b/c one day my husband had to go into work very early...ok not his fault but he ended up dinky around so long before he left I could have gone. Then one day my son woke up very early and my husband as tired so I had to take DS down stairs. I tried to put him the stroller but he screamed b/c he wanted breakfast, so by the time we did all that it was too late.

UGHHHHH! SO I have been eating out of control. Not an excuse I know, but it happened. I have been messing around fo rthe last 9 weeks and have accomplished NOTHING. I am going back to my points b/c then if need be I can eat white stuff if that's all I have in my house. I will stick to trying to avoid it, but my points help keep me on track. I'm not starting Monday as I normally would, saying ok I'll have one mroe day to goof off and then MONDAY... No I'm getting on the scale weighing in and starting my points today! I will do my best to walk more and go back to doing the weights I have slacked off on. I have lost 30 pounds in about 8 months. That's good I know, but in my opinion knowing that the reason I haven't lost more is b/c I slacked off it's not good enough for me. I wandted to be at or close to my goal by my son's 1st birthday. It's not going to happen. But I amgoing to aim for Christmas. I am almost 30 and I spent all of my 20's being fat and that makes me sad and angry with myself.

Ok sorry for venting. I am going to go see if I can buy some new shoes now. Have a good day all!

Jen I totally understand why you didn't go with the bootcamp at your gym. that makes sense. I really hope thinsg start looking up for you soon.

~misty