[diphthong]

Link to Chapter 2 discussion-

http://www.3fatchicks.com/forum/show...7&page=1&pp=15

Chapter 3 is about your level of commitment. You've probably already have taken the Readiness Profile. One thing about Dr. Phil and these 'tests' throughout the book, is that the questions he wants us to answer are deeper than just questions. Don't take any of them lightly or give the answer you *think* he would want to hear.

Rather than just say, "OK! I'm ready so let's move on," why don't we take some time to reflect about commitment.

We can commit to our spouse/partner, an employer for exchange of salary, our children the moment we become pregnant, and even our pets. So why can't we commit to ourselves and persist when it comes to what we have to do to get healthy and fit?

I believe, the answer lies in the first two of Dr. Phil's keys, but before we get there, I know that I never had any real commitment to myself to persist and follow through on any diet or exercise plan. But I have been successful using the same principles with other areas of my life in the past. It's been my experience *this time* that all the questions we have to ask ourselves in the Readiness Profile, are the things absolutely necessary that we have to do not only commit to, but persist with for the rest of our lives. Yes, even changing jobs and giving up friends, maybe even a significant other.

So are you really ready to change, or just giving yourself "lip service" because this is just another "diet book?" How far are you willing to go to help yourself?

dip

[Summerlover]

I'm back. Report cards are mostly finished.

Dip, WOW is all I can say, just WOW.

You have really got me thinking. Thanks.

Summer

[HatterasMermaid]

Hey Dip,

I read Chapter 3 (and finished Chapter 2) yesterday...it was a beloved snow day!

I'm with you AND Summer. This chapter is LOADED with stuff to make one think! ....and I've been thinking! and I'm still thinking!

I am living proof that my THINKING can change the shape of my body!
I am also living proof that NOT THINKING doesn't keep the momentum in a positive direction!
I am going to be living proof that CHANGING my thinking can get it going back in the right direction AGAIN!!

I'm still getting my act together ....the last 2 weeks has been draining in lots of ways! BUT...my head is out of the oven! It won't be much longer now!

I'll check in tomorrow....there is soooo much to say about Chapter 3!

take care!
Keep the thread alive, girls!
Robyn

[Jo_Pointer]

Great posts, friends!

I really liked this chapter, and again, I have to say how grateful I am that this second time through we are going chapter by chapter.

The first time I read the book I thought I was paying close attention to these early chapters, and I even highlighted passages I thought were important. But in going back through them more slowly this time, I am discovering things I didn't the first time around that are very meaningful.

It would be easy to answer all of the Readiness Profile questions as yes, especially when we are feeling very committed and fired up about the program. But I have spent the last four days really chewing on these questions and understanding what answering yes really means. Pretty powerful.

Question 1: Two weeks ago my family and I went to visit my parents. Although my mother knew I was back on Weight Watchers, she made a really rich lasagna (sausage, extra cheese, etc.) for dinner, and made a tossed salad which she over-dressed before putting it on the table (she knows this drives me crazy, but that is a subject for another day! ) She went to a lot of trouble, and was very proud of her meal, so I just didn't have the heart to mention that these were not program-friendly foods for me. And she would have been very hurt or gotten offended if I didn't eat her meal or asked for something different. Instead I ate the smallest amount possible as not to hurt her feelings, then shaved off a bunch of points daily for the rest of my week to compensate. I suffered a bit as a result, but I spared her feelings AND had a weight loss that week--so I counted it as a victory. But after reading question 1 on the Readiness Profile again--I wondered if I should have handled it differently. If I had it to do over, I think I should have made my dietary requirements more clear to her before heading down or offered to make them dinner or take them out. I really realized that we have to put our weight loss in "project status" (as Dr. Phil says), and champion our own efforts no matter what.

Question 2: YES, YES, YES! I can't wait! Other times that I've lost weight I have NEVER done this--I'm very thrifty (CHEAP!) and a terrible packrat--and now I finally see how very important it is to get rid of any clothes that will allow you to get bigger. I am at my heaviest now, so I don't have any clothes to give away yet, but I can't wait to piece by piece get rid of these ugly clothes. Especially the granny panties! I live in jeans and tees/sweatshirts right now, which aren't very cute or flattering. I haven't wanted to spend money on cute fat clothes, yet wearing these dumpy clothes has hurt my self-esteem a bit. As soon as they are too big they are out of here!!

Question 3: This is a toughie. In a way, you could say my mother was doing this by making such a fattening meal, although I certainly don't think she was conciously doing so. In the past, I've had lots of friends and even my husband do the ole, "oh, come on, just one" bit, which at times I was able to resist and other times I succumbed. Rather than assuming people are out to get me, I think it is my job to explain to everyone I'm close to exactly why this is important to me, what I need from them to assist me, and to also equip myself with the tools to handle difficult situations.

Question 9: Doesn't apply as I am a SAHM. My boss is a (usually) very sweet 2 1/2 year old, and I'll never quit this job--no matter what!

Question 10: This also doesn't really apply to me. We are really good about keeping healthy foods in our house. I'm lucky that my hubby and kid don't have bad goodies that they must have. We love to go out to dinner though, so that was often where I would indulge excessively. In general, the issue with me isn't so much WHAT I'm eating but HOW MUCH. But I'm willing to take a closer look and remove any items that I need to.

Question 11: I am exercising 3-4 hours a week, and it feels good. Since going back on program I have been exercising nearly every day. I am keeping an activity journal to help keep myself honest. I can feel a difference physically and certainly mentally already.


Question 14: I really believe in the power of affirmations. I have a HUGE list of them that I'm willing to e-mail anyone that wants them, just let me know. I printed some out and have posted them on my refrigerator to help me stay focused and positive (Key #1).

Questions 4-8, 12 & 13, and 15-20: The answer to all of these is "Yes;" I am here and in this program for the duration. This site, this forum and all of you are my touchstone for "getting real" this time.

And here are some quotes from this chapter that also struck me as important:

Get out of your seat in the comfort zone and resolve to begin each and every day of your life with the question: What can I do to get healthy control of my weight and my life? Ask it, answer it, then do it, every day.

Ask yourself right now: do you want to continue to be part of this life-wrecking, spirit-breaking epidemic of overweight and obesity? Do you? You must decide once and for all that it is not okay to accept living life as a fence-sitter.

It takes courage to change, and it is time for you to claim that courage.

Okay brave souls, thanks for letting me share!

Jo
------
205.2/199.2/135

I have the courage to allow myself to reach toward my potential. I am unafraid of what I may achieve.

[Summerlover]

Thank you Jo, what an inspirational posting.

I have a lot of trouble with people not respecting my intention to lose weight. Currently my next-door nightmare (neighbor) is baking a few times a week and bringing goodies to my house. She is driving me batty. I hinted at needing to lose weight in the beginning and said that all of her brownies made it more difficult because they are so delicious. (My attempt to say "No thank you" while still being kind) Well subtlety doesn't work with her. So, last week I told her point blank to please stop baking for us because I was serious about losing weight. Would you believe she had the nerve to leave a plate of vanilla cake and brownies on my counter on Wednesday? I purposely didn't call to thank her. This morning before she brought DD to school, she asked how we liked the goodies. I told her that DD and DH loved them, but they were a constant temptation for me. She acted disappointed that I didn't have any. Why do people force food on other people?! AAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!

Summer

[diphthong]

I had a hard time too with people, especially in my own family, shoving temptations at me. Or saying, "just this once." I found that convincing myself through almost hourly repetition that A) I have a disease, (obesity) B) certain foods of the "white nature" AKA bad carbs only make my disease worse and are therefore, POISON for me, and C) Don't tell the world what you're going to do, show it. I am committed to me to get healthy, not to their feelings or thoughts. I can't be responsible for what other people think or do, but I am accountable for how I react to them.

I think we need to understand, especially in the beginning, that when people do this to us, it's not necessarily their intention to sabotage us. But it's rather their reaction based on our own past behavior of starting (fill in the blank) X number of diets, or programs over and over again. I know in my case, I had to "walk the talk" before I was taken seriously, lost the first 20# and then received, eventually, the support and encouragement I needed.

(I have to laugh because now those very same people have come to me asking for help with their own obesity problems.)

dip

[litlestarr]

I've seen this many times, people try to sabotage your weight loss attempt. Sometimes it DH, afraid deep down you will be more appealing and run off with the milk man. yeah right!!!

Sometimes it's "friends"/family jealous deep down you will do something they don't want to try. It's easier to make excuses.

Hard thought it may be to accept, some of the people in our worlds like us, the way we are. Or, misery loves company.

Even our own mothers or others close to us like us fat, esp if they are overweight, because then they can say, "it runs in the family, we have fat genes."

Throw the goodies, out to the birds, that should stop the presents.

Stand firm, and don't let others decide what you will weight.

litlestarr

[diphthong]

"The Food Pusher" is discussed on Page 231, so since we've already read the book, I think it would be OK to jump ahead and see what Dr. Phil says how to handle actual saboteurs.

So - Are we "ready?" Chapter 4 starts the "headwork" with Right Thinking, the first Key. This is where it gets heavy and down to the nitty gritty.

So Summerlover, give the word and I'll start the new thread first thing in the morning. Of course, more posts are welcomed on this chapter.

dip

[Summerlover]

Thank you Dip and Litle Starr for your wise and helpful comments on my posting.

Dip, have you got great timing! I am sooooooooo ready for chapter 4. I read it this morning while my DD was in gymnastics class. I have been feeling really weak and in need of a kick in the behind, so I brought Dr. Phil with me today instead of the juicy trash I usually read. It was a great chapter. And by reading it a second time around, I picked up on some new things that I didn't before.

So, my friend, get us started! Onward and upward! (or downward as far as inches and pounds are concerned)

Summer

[diphthong]

Well, since you're chomping, why don't we "just do it!"

dip